Goodbye, Friend

It is a strange and unhappy thing: the death of a good friend. When they pass, at least for me, it seems there is always a day where I think to talk to them about the sad death of my friend. It is almost instantaneous that the realization comes that of course I can't talk to them about it, because they are the one gone. 

Friendship is an interesting part of life. It cannot be forced or predicted; it just comes one way or another, and it is full of blessings and sometimes challenges. 

This particular friendship was born out of heartache for both of us, and now her burdens are long laid down. 

Eventually I'll forget the sweet sound of her British accent saying, "I love you, Jen." I hope it takes a while. 

Farewell, Rita. I'll sure miss you.

Sept 14, 1940 - June 13, 2024

Warmth

Warm people--those who take time to say just a little extra so their response is comforting. When you contact them with a problem, they take the time to be compassionate. Perhaps an emoji of a hug or a heart, or the kissy face that nicer phones have accompanies their words. These things add up over time, and they help us understand when someone doesn't have or take the time to be gentle or sympathetic. 

A loved one of ours used to call these sorts of warm people a 'soft place to land'. We can't always be a soft place to land, but we should certainly try. We want people to come to us with their problems and find comfort and direction. 

It is a challenge to continue to interact with those who seldom, if ever, respond sympathetically. Mechanical responses are a true turn off. It is tempting to write cold people off, but we should continue to love the less loveable and try to help them be more gentle. Most of all, may we look to ourselves to determine if we are being loving and gentle when others need it. 

Love vs. Vitriol

Where truth is, love abounds. Look at how the liberal mainstream media talks about the passing of Rush Limbaugh. It is not kind. Realize the mainstream media is not unbiased. They speak for a limited number of people. There are as many or far more conservatives in America. If you only interact with liberals, you don't realize just how many people think very differently from mainstream media. 

Speaking the truth isn't hateful, though many outside of Christ like to act like it is. 

Truth stands on its own-whether a biblical truth or a worldview perspective that is accurate; it doesn't need to be defended. What is right will win in the end. Love speaks much more powerfully than hate, which really just shows insecurity. 

My hope and prayer for many of the lost is that they will see how ugly the liberals are toward the passing of Rush Limbaugh and thus, those of us who loved him. Then I hope they will see that is not of God. As Christians, we should always be kind to people suffering, no matter how much we disagree with their ideologies.

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

James 1:27 KJV

My Mary Kay Director Stepping Down

For 23 years I've been a Mary Kay Consultant. I joined the company when I was in college after going to a little facial at my closest friend, Ruth's, house. Her director was there and us two--a small group. Ruth's mom had used Mary Kay for years. Her pink compact required water to make the eye color work. Mary Kay was the first skin care I'd really used and it worked well for me;  something I later learned would be uncommon. 

During my time with Mary Kay, and not long in to it, my director from Ruth's house retired and moved to Florida. Her director, a woman named Chan, became my first-line director, so to speak. Financially I don't think Chan ever benefitted from my efforts, but she always included me in her contests and newsletters. When I attended meetings, they were in my state of KY with some great adopted directors. Chan was in Maryland. I didn't do much in person with her, and I never went to Seminar...for a long time I wasn't into prizes or things, though now I hold as very special my Mary Kay pin with a little fancy overlay.

Lately I've been feeling a bit sad as my middle daughter is nearing graduation. Maybe it is coming off covid, which we thought we had last month but turns out, we've had it this month. Being quarantined during December was more fun and easier! This month my oldest is away at school and we're busy praying for college finances to be provided...the looming thought of sending off my sweet middle girl has been at the forefront of my mind. 

How does this tie in to Mary Kay? The passing of time, things that have been constants...Chan has been a constant. She's prayed for me along with the rest of her team. I've prayed for her, and that connects you to a person. She's someone who has always expressed love and kindness. She's real and doesn't pretend to believe something she doesn't. We are both republicans, and that connects people in today's messed up political climate. 

Chan called tonight. She is retiring from being a Director after 30 years. This news has me very sad. It is easy to expect people to always be around, always doing what they've always done. The last few days I've prayed about my future with Mary Kay...I'll be going to work for my son's senior year to help pay for college. My middle daughter can't use Mary Kay due to some strange chemical allergies. Even though I do a small business of just a few thousand dollars a year, Mary Kay has been a continual part of my married years and with that, Chan. Like things we think we appreciate, they take on a new meaning when they are no longer. I hate goodbyes and endings. 

I hope to remember and embody Chan's continual encouragement and positive attitude. She's had some rough waters and never acted down in the dumps with us. She was professional and loving--that is not the easiest combination. She has shown me that you never know who can use some constant love and recognition. It doesn't take much to pour a little something good in to someone else. It just takes some thoughtfulness. 

Thank you for all you've given me, Chan. I'm thankful we'll both be with the Lord one day and I hope we recognize each other. ♥

Love and Forgiveness

Has there ever been someone in your life that loved you or your children, and just kept at it, asking nothing in return? I've had that experience for many, many years, and you know what happened somewhere along the way? I began loving that person.

This is a perfect illustration of God's love toward us, right down to the imperfect people He has used and is continuing to use as the story of mankind is written.

Love breaks down barriers, it opens doors to blessings for us and others. When we give to someone, which sometimes simply may mean letting them love us, we end up being given to.

There is nothing gained from holding on to grudges, justified or not. There will be opportunities lost that we cannot even fathom. As we hold on to our pain and what we consider righteous indignation, our hands become more and more empty. Love and forgiveness bring something altogether different. They build--they increase.

When giving to others is our focus, and glorifying God is our mission, when the saving truth of Jesus' death, burial and resurrection are upon our lips because of our love for mankind, we can rest assured that our life is one that builds rather than tears down. My hope is to realize that one person that may let me down or tear down in my world may actually be used of God to build up and support in someone else's world. We all sin, we all fall short. If we can just remember this reality, we'll deal with with other people with much more understanding.

Grace, grace, God's grace. Grace that is greater than all my sin...may I approach others with this attitude in Christ Jesus.

Revelations as Time Goes On

I know I've heard people talk about having things to accomplish which they really couldn't do themselves, things that had to happen, but they needed the Lord to work it out. At this point in time, I have no specific stories like this (probably due to my lack of realizing it!), but it makes sense to me. 

Once upon a time I thought a schedule, a plan, resources and determination would be all I needed to have a great school year. The older I get, the more I don't want to say definitively anything about how to do this or that...there are times and situations where you are called to do something which in your heart of hearts, is a task bigger than you. There are times as a parent, specifically a homeschooling parent, where you know something HAS to happen, and it has to happen that year. Yet, when it's all laid out, you just throw up your hands and say, "Well, we'll see what miracle occurs to make this come to pass." The reason could be there are intangibles mingled throughout; elements only you as the mom/teacher know.

I just wanted to write about this to encourage other homeschooling  if you find yourself feeling this way about the upcoming school year. It is a good place to be when that place has you at the feet of Jesus, relying solely on Him to see you through. Our own strength just fades as we get older. Raising kids gets harder and harder as they age. School gets complicated. Discipling gets more serious and the need for it more urgent. And in a world that says we can't really KNOW anything about the Bible or God, it takes diligence to remember we can, should and have to know plenty about the Bible and God.

If you are 'in Christ'--have been aware of your sin and how it offends God Almighty; have gone to God and asked forgiveness for your sins, trusting in the work of Jesus on the cross at Calvary (dying in your place) and believe Jesus rose from the dead, conquering the death and separation from God (ie the eternal penalty for unrepentant sin is Hell), you can stand on the solid rock and ask Him to help you accomplish what you need to accomplish.

Don't be discouraged or afraid. Keep your eyes on God and walk close to Him. He wills how you the way if you ask and trust Him.

Valentine's Day

It is Valentine's Day, love is in the air. I know it is a commercialized holiday, but aren't most of them, and focusing on love is never a bad thing!

I awoke to a dozen, gorgeous, fragrant red roses with a very thoughtful, romantic card leaning against the vase. My children had sweet gifts at their places around the table, and soon after we started school, I was given another bouquet of flowers and some chocolate that I l.o.v.e. My husband insists on showering me with these things, though honestly, I don't need them and my feelings wouldn't be hurt if we skipped it. I know Adam's post has a ton of truth to it though, so maybe I'm kidding myself.  

It's good for the kids to see how a husband should treat his wife, and of course, I love flowers and chocolate. My dining room smells so pretty! ;) I showed my love by showering, wearing a red sweater I knew he'd like, and fixing my hair, which he appreciates. Generally the Mr. goes all of the bought gift-giving. Later I cooked up the best London Broil ever. It was free range grass-fed beef from some awesome variety of cow that I can't recall (better than Angus I'm told) from my friend's local farm. Snow Hollow Farm knows how to grow some beef! We've had meat from another Virginia farm and to say it pales in comparison is a ridiculous understatement. Snow Hollow knocks this other farm, which is very renowned, out of the beef game in my opinion. Anyway, we also had mashed potatoes, corn, Bonefish Grill's bang-bang shrimp, a pink butter cream Dutch chocolate heart-shaped cake and fresh fruit purees . YUM!

I'm on a bit of a rabbit-trail about the food. But in my cast iron Dutch oven, you should have had that London Broil...smothered in butter and onions, seasoned heavily with garlic and Sweet 'N Sassy's Rub. It was tender and delicious!

Anyway, even with all of this awesomeness, which included talking to my best girl friend on the phone about her beautiful new office and my 92-year-old friend finally getting released from the hospital, I've had this sad feeling most of the day. Ever have that happen? You should be feeling perfect, but because of other things, you just aren't?

Those other things---could it be that priorities need adjusting? Or maybe expectations? Sometimes when this happens it is because I'm not keeping God as my number 1. I've let other things, or people, overshadow the blessings and perhaps forgot to start out with God that day.

Parental Attitude and Position

There is a notable difference in parenting from the 'top down' versus coming alongside as a helper to our children. This is one of those things many of us can feel as moms, but we can't put our finger on it. We see a mom gently talking to her children and instructing them in a nurturing way, then we see the mom who is yelling and verbally crushing her children, bossing them mercilessly. There is a difference, right? We might say the first mom is cajoling or not serious about discipline, but then we see obedient children and mutual respect, so we back pedal on that critique. The stern mother is one to complain about her children and their utter lack of obedience, and we want to think she really loves them and that is where the hard line standard comes in to play, yet we never see the gentle soft side.

We all probably feel that we vacillate at times between these extremes, but as kids leave the toddler and very young years, we need to use discretion and wisdom with our approach. It is humbling and quite difficult to view ourselves as nurturing helpers, people there to disciple, love, advise, correct...put an arm around and punish with love when needed but also put an arm around and encourage, encourage, encourage. Too many of us can get caught up in outward malleability while not really touching our kids' hearts. As with many aspects of the infant years, we have to die to ourselves, serve our husbands as our top time and energy priority, and then serve our children second in those areas--serving, in love, not as a tyrant.

If we don't love them, build them up, encourage, correct and guide, who will? How do we want to be talked to? How do we want to be talked about? Put yourself in your child's shoes and make adjustments where needed. Hug your kids and tell them you love them.

My Dog

We have had a great dog for 14 years, nearing 15 rapidly. I found him at a shelter in Ohio when he was roughly 10 months old. He couldn't walk on a leash, was filthy, and had terrible worms. Within 4 months he had passed obedience training with flying colors, was beautiful, healthy and continued with his very submissive, gentle way. Back when we took in Jake, I was young. We didn't have children, some grandparents were still living, and my mother in law was in good health. There were so many years ahead of me and there were my yet-to-be-born children to look forward to.

Now here we are, with Jakey needing many pills each AM and PM to keep his body going. We've started 3 new medications today, hoping to get his pulse under control and manage his extreme arthritis pain. He takes 8 pills a day...

How do you know when it's time to say goodbye to a faithful friend? How do you process the guilt of not walking him as much as he wanted when young children came to occupy so much time? How do you look at the weakening body and determine what he wants?

I've been told the last thing you can do 'for' your pet is put him down at the right time. I'm finding it to be a daunting task I want God to make for us.

Our beloved first dog watching our oldest learn to ride a bike

Poem for Sandy Hook Victims

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.

They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"This is heaven." declared a small boy. "We're spending Christmas at God's house."

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their Savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
And in that moment was joy, that only Heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King.
And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

Then He looked down on earth, the world far below

He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"May this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children, let me show you around."

Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but by Me." I hope adults reading this will turn to Him before it is too late, and I'm thankful that these children were young enough that they may have entered His gates still. Some things we won't know for sure until we're with the King of Kings, but this sentiment is beautiful and I hope it is how it went. God bless the families~