When A Battle Ends

There are situations that God allows us to be in which take us to our ends...our wits' end, the end of our patience, the end of our mercy and grace, the end of our understanding. Situations that frustrate us to no end, and which torment us because we want to be gracious and kind, but the offense to our Lord is too great. The offense is more than should be borne. And yet, when others' do not know the story, we must rely on God alone to carry us through. For many years this was a story for us, and it wasn't until the 11th hour that I began to seek help in prayer from trusted, mature, Christian women. In times, as the end drew nigh, and my strength and resilience were at the brink of failure, my soul poured forth it's anguish. At times we struggle to pray because the challenges are great, and it is by God's design that we need the fellowship of believers to be fellows in our suffering. We bear one another's burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ. 

This might be one of the only times in my life where I see us having lived through something of biblical proportion. Picturing how it would be written in the Holy text. How years of failure would be penned, how years of toil would be recorded, and then the swift victory written out, and how that would be said. Many hours of pain, prayer, anguish, disbelief in what was happening, injustice, infuriating disappointment, love for His church, love for Him, love for the brethren...and pressing on and pressing on and pressing on. And it would be said in a sentence in the Bible.... Maybe two.

Our lives and the hours spent wrapped up neatly with,  "And then he was gone." Just like that.

Cain killed his brother Abel. But all the details in the midst of that we aren't told...

and Enoch walked with God...but there all the things we aren't privy to that also happened.

And God slew him...and God smote him...and God's anger was kindled. Many day in and day out details are not said or known in Scripture, but the high points where we see God's hand of power, God's direction of the destiny, ARE stated. "And we know all things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose." 

How humbling to be a part of history like that. God is too good and mysterious, and yet, He is known and wants us to know Him...those He called before the foundation of the earth was laid can know the King of Kings! How can it be?

Oh my King, how powerful You have shown Yourself to be! How great and mighty is Your hand! How you bring justice! Even when You do make it right, it is still painful as we're torn between sadness and joy. Why do we force Your mighty hand to act? When you answer our prayer to do what must be done because evil acts prevail and Your creation is suffering...why must it hurt to witness? You have wrought us as so frail we cannot handle Your justice without a mix of emotions. But God, I praise You for Your deliverance! My heart is so full and so fearful of Your just hand. We have seen Your salvation. We have seen You defend what is Yours. It is You who lifts up and puts down! How can my soul ever despair when men come and go as powers and kings? It cannot! You are too great! Too Sovereign! Too Almighty! My soul exalts the Lord who made Heaven and earth! You have done it! You have redeemed and freed, and cast down what must be cast down. You have seen, You have heard our cry. Be magnified Oh Lord in Your church! Be magnified in all the earth! We are but clay, mold us and make us, move us and use us for Your honor and good pleasure and glory ALONE. "Now to Him who is ABLE to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all generations, Amen and amen!"

How do we live our daily lives, making decisions, living and dying, building and tearing down, and all the while it is under the umbrella of your Sovereignty and perfect will? You are too great for me. Holy, HOLY, HOLY is the Lord God Almighty. I am Yours. Do with me what you will. Amen. Thank you, Father. You have saved us. 

Power of Prayer

Often I don't share prayer requests. People have so many of their own. I try to be discreet as well. That said, sometimes several struggles come along all at once. If trouble impacts those closest to me, I'm generally sharing with others so they can pray with me. 

This past week, my beloved sister fell quite ill. She's been in a hospital that's about 7 hours from me because we're on vacation. It's been very difficult to not be with her. We pray, and I've asked many others to pray. Mostly friends I've prayed for in the past. That's how love goes, right? We bear one another's burdens. If we believe the heart of God is moved by prayer, then we ought to beseech Him when we've got needs. He's the Great Physician, so He's who we go to. 

During this same time period, my middle daughter took a hard hit and fell backwards onto concrete, sustaining a concussion that lasted several days. Five days later, she still finds bright lights to hurt her eyes. She was feeling ill when the collision occurred, and has been sick a couple of times already this summer. She's a delicate girl, and this job has been a very new endeavor for her.  Working at a physically and emotionally demanding job is quite the opposite of a government type computer science internship. I'm so grateful for the friends who have prayed for her healing. We're blessed to be in a church where everyone knows each of us. 

It's a balance to be found: troubling others with our needs or keeping them between us and God. Pride can keep us from asking, and it can compel us to ask when we ought to hold off. 

Being on this particular vacation, I used to enjoy being off my phone and computer all week. We are still not on the computer doing normal life,  but I've been on my phone a lot for the first time. There's just no way with the health issues and two kids working where they barely get free time to text or call. It's a season. God is faithful to give us the rest we need in other ways. To be broken and spilled out for His use is my dream. At the end of this life, I hope all who know me think of good works I've done to bring glory to the Lord. Whether it be having them over, praying with them, giving them something they needed, or doing something for them. What else is this life for?

Things to Ask God For

I recently heard this as part of a message on Matthew 7, and I think it is worth sharing. 

As I've focused afresh on the importance of growing where I am planted, and using the time God has given me carefully, this fits in well. The reason it fits in well is that both of those things just mentioned require living intentionally where God has physically has us, doing the work He has set before us to do. 

For me, it includes interacting the most with people in my actual town, rather than strangers in Facebook groups who have similar hobbies. It involves managing my home and time with things outside my 4 walls carefully, paying attention to how my life impacts those who live with me here. I've recently deleted all of the social apps on my phone, and am leaving my phone out of ear shot a lot more often. I'm tired of it interrupting my thoughts and daily flow; something I've unfortunately grown very accustomed to. It is a hard habit to break. Likewise, I've hibernated/closed the couple of social accounts I've had now that my work schedule is sufficiently full. Finally, I've cut out a bartering arrangement I had for the foreseeable future, realizing while it is something I really enjoy, it can't rise to the "most important thing right now" list. 

Whenever it seems we do not have enough time to do the things we'd like to do or need to do, it is a wise to see how much screen time we're allowing and how much things outside our daily life we're giving time to. I think it steals so much value adding time to read tons on the Internet, or glaze over and scroll, scroll, scroll.....and life goes too fast, and we get used to passively using the Internet/phones so easily. It numbs us and wastes hours we will never recover. Youth goes too fast...take it from someone past the half-century mark. One day you are saying you don't want to do an activity and the next, you are afraid to do it so you don't hurt yourself....

My suggestion is to pray for God to show you what and who to prioritize each day. Look around and pour into those God has laid on your heart, that you can manage well with the responsibilities He's made clear are yours alone. Read books more than what is online...one day your eyes will be tired faster, vision will not just be short or far-sighted, there will be other factors that make reading more difficult. It is like writing letters by hand. If you don't do it, you lose the skill quickly. I digress...

Things to ask God for.....

(Reflection: How is your prayer life? Ask God to improve it and to show you to pray for the right things if it is less than stellar.)

Here's the list that God surely wants to answer for His beloved children:

1. For courage confronting critical attitudes. Judgments we make should come only from spiritual intentions. We are not the standard bearer of Christianity. We should let our standards motivate us to be more holy, not to measure others. 

2. Ask God to help us be more authentic, and show us our hypocrisy. 

3. Pray that God will show us who we genuinely are. 

4. Pray for God to give us humility, and to see Him as our loving Father. 

Remember, the Holy Spirit is a good gift. God says He will give us every good and perfect gift. Ask God to help you be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and really listen to Him. May we remove the log from our own eye so we can see clearly to remove the splinter from the eyes of those He's burdened us to lovingly correct. 

Answered Prayer

You do not have because you do not ask, or you ask with wrong intentions. My paraphrase of James 4:3 which reads: 

You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

I'm in awe of how quickly God answers prayer sometimes. I'm sharing it because we all know what it is to pray and wait, sometimes for decades, with no fruit coming forth. The people still won't accept Christ, they still won't join a body of believers and serve, the money is not coming in as you hoped, the healing is not happening, or didn't happen...and if we are having a hard time, those answers of 'no' can be tough to accept. 

I want to take time to point out that the same God who says no and wait, also says YES! And when He does, He can not only move fast, but abundantly. It is mind blowing. It gives me the confidence to fully trust when He isn't answering or isn't answering as I want. He hears His children with the intent to answer. He says He will. This is what gives us peace in spite of loved ones who will not believe or obey Him. We have our special relationship with the God of the Universe and no one and nothing can take that away. While others spin their wheels and have no peace, we can have a peace that surpasses ALL understanding. 

• Ask for wisdom and direction for what work to do after homeschooling is over...He gives the idea and blesses the amount of work perfectly and gradually to help get you up to speed on working outside the home for the first time. He transitions from 1 to 10 over the course of years needed so you can accomplish all that needs to be accomplished, learning how to get housework done differently and cooking/shopping. 
• Desire to give a certain amount of money to missionaries and He brings a sale price where the tithe is exactly what you wanted to give!
• Desire ministry that He is clearly on board with because He brings the opportunity in spades!
• Ask Him to serve alongside your family as you all age and He leads you to a church where you can immediately plug in serving together even though ages of your family members are all over the place!
• Desire to serve with your husband in more ministry areas and suddenly there is only 1 you aren't serving in together!
• Pray for your child's college choice, find a solid church nearby, move said student to the area, knowing it is His will. Be blessed abundantly in obvious ways at that point, and after a year find out what God knew all along. The blessings that were waiting were beyond anything that could have been imagined. The state school's program your student was in was run by Christians! Follow, trust and obey and see the Lord unveil His plan!
• Ask God for something expensive and tangible that you need and which only He can provide. Receive a text from someone offering you that exact item. 

I say to this Ephesian 3:20--Now to Him WHO IS ABLE to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us. To Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations. 

Thank you, Pastor Baker, for getting that truth in my mind when I was still in college. We serve a mighty and powerful God, who thankfully, knows how to say Yes and how to say No. Trust Him to do what is going to bring Him glory and honor, it is what is best for us all. 

Slander and Pride in Prayer Requests

Most women are familiar with gossip being a potential pitfall when sharing a prayer need. Too often the "need" for prayer becomes a bash session or a town council style opinion meeting if it isn't carefully shared. This isn't new information for those who desire to avoid gossip. 

There is another issue that I think we sometimes miss in prayer request time that has had me thinking though. It is the issue of slander: speaking against someone in a way that harms their reputation or negatively shapes the opinion of others. It can happen before we know it, and it can be one of those things we didn't intend. Slander can be factual or false, and it can flow out of a lack of humility and pride, but also lack of foresight. Too often if something is true we think it is ok to openly share. (True as in absolutely true, or true in our own minds and opinion.)

The truth is,  however,  whether something is factual or not, it isn't always helpful or appropriate to share. We should be able to see what is our own opinion of a situation and "our truth" for what it is--possibly clouded and mistaken, especially within the confines of a serious relationship problem. 

Before sharing a prayer need about a problem we have with another person, we should ask ourselves what exactly are we saying about the other individual? Are we saying they are a thief, a liar, an adulterer, deceived, malicious, that they have an anger issue, or something else? Is the problem absolutely one-sided (like a person has a clear substance abuse issue or is in a cult) or is there a chance both parties are at fault to varying degrees? We should always ask for our own hearts to be changed in situations with subjectivity. 

We don't want people coming away from our prayer request thinking poorly of someone else if it can be helped. I realize there are times this is unavoidable. In such cases, prudence is advised. Instead of sharing in a group setting, ask a trusted friend or two to pray (if details are required that will shed negative light on someone else). Regardless, whenever we have a problem with another person to the degree that it leads us to seek the support of others, our attitude should be that we are willing to see the situation differently if God sees it differently. There should be a measure of humility, our love for the other person should be clear, and our desire for reconciliation over being right should be obvious. If we aren't there yet when we share the need, it is important we're open to advice on the matter and do not approach it like we have it all figured out.

In closing, let's consider being vague in prayer needs so we respect the reputation of others, and being sure to communicate our own willingness to change our perspective. There is usually something we can improve upon in any problem situation. 

To God be the glory

Turning 40

Turning 40 passes as just another day for some people. I've known a few folks who were like that. They didn't want any fanfare or a party or something. My close friend went to a luxurious, all-inclusive tropical resort for her 40th. That is really what I'd like to do...be away from the majority of the world with just my husband. The years are fleeting and it is just so clear that before long, it will be just 'us' again. I like to practice that coming reality ;).

I think milestones like turning 40 impact some of us harder than others for a few reasons. One is gender--women and men care about different things related to aging. The ages of one's children, if they have them, changes a person's perspective of turning 40. Parental life or death factors in, as well as one's position in their extended family.

Turning 40 with younger, healthy parents is one thing, but turning 40 with deceased parents is another matter. You just feel older in general when your parents are deceased. If you've passed out of the baby years with your kids, that is something else to make you feel older. Personal health challenges just compound it all. When we start to experience some of the physical problems that change our day-to-day living, it has an impact of making us see that the best physical years may be behind us. And when we are the youngest in our family and are hitting 40, it brings up the whole generation to 'middle aged'.

In spite of this, and my own struggles as I near 40, I'm thankful for where God has me in life. I wouldn't want to be younger and doing what I'm doing. It's just that it's taking me some time to stop missing my 30's and my babes being younger...it is hard to have less 'growing up' years to look forward to, and hard to realize that at this age my beloved and I are nearing, one of each of our parents only had 14 yrs of life left. I've been married longer than that...and those years, while just a number to anyone reading, encompass years of bliss that surpass anything anyone could have imagined when they saw my life prior to 1996.

I know there are loads of people who talk about how young 40 is; it is not that young. I've lived a lot of my life already. I pray God uses me more in the second half (hopefully I'll get at least as much time again on the 'other side' of the mountain).

And for the record, I really do want my old 'first car' again...a VW bug. A convertible sure would be fun, though I had a regular one...a 1973 113 Superbeetle in baby blue, 2 exhaust pipes. Ah. She was a beauty.

Psalm 40

Psalm 40

God Sustains His Servant.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David.

40 I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
² He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
³ He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear
And will trust in the Lord.

⁴ How blessed is the man who has made the Lord his trust,
And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.
⁵ Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us;
There is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of them,
They would be too numerous to count.

⁶ Sacrifice and meal offering You have not desired;
My ears You have opened;
Burnt offering and sin offering You have not required.
⁷ Then I said, “Behold, I come;
In the scroll of the book it is written of me.
⁸ I delight to do Your will, O my God;
Your Law is within my heart.”

⁹ I have proclaimed glad tidings of righteousness in the great congregation;
Behold, I will not restrain my lips,
O Lord, You know.
¹⁰ I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart;
I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation;
I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation.

¹¹ You, O Lord, will not withhold Your compassion from me;
Your lovingkindness and Your truth will continually preserve me.
¹² For evils beyond number have surrounded me;
My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to see;
They are more numerous than the hairs of my head,
And my heart has failed me.

¹³ Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me;
Make haste, O Lord, to help me.
¹⁴ Let those be ashamed and humiliated together
Who seek my life to destroy it;
Let those be turned back and dishonored
Who delight in my hurt.

¹⁵ Let those be appalled because of their shame
Who say to me, “Aha, aha!”
¹⁶ Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let those who love Your salvation say continually,
“The Lord be magnified!”
¹⁷ Since I am afflicted and needy,
Let the Lord be mindful of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Do not delay, O my God.

Back on My Knees

Do you remember that old song that says, "Where do I go, when I need some helping? Where do I go, when I need a friend? Tell me, where do I go, when I need some shelter? Where do I go?"

"Back on my knees, again."

I recently posted about having joy in our own lives when those we care about are making bad decisions or struggling in some way...that it is not wrong to separate enough to do have your own life, essentially. And I believe that. We each have our assignments.

But sometimes we are called to bear one another's burdens, and when that is going on, it can feel all-consuming. If only we could retreat from all the world during these storms and read scripture and pray continually.

When we pray for our enemies, God heaps burning coals upon their heads. Some people are our enemies because of what they do to those we love, right? To remember I was once God's enemy and He stretched out His arms and died for me helps me pray for those I may be feeling strong distaste for.

God help us pray for those YOU love.

Vengeance

I am thankful for the promise where God says that vengeance is His and He will repay. I love that He is a God of justice along with mercy and grace. Only He can rightly divide where to draw those lines. There are times in life when all we can do is fall at His feet asking Him to have the justice, to have the final word. To do a powerful work, quickly, to intervene in a life or lives...and this is when I go to my 'whatever it takes' prayer. It is an actual prayer that begins in my mind and attitude, fully relying on Him to work in ways no mortal can.

Tonight and for many nights to come, I'm asking the Almighty to not hold back any stops on doing whatever it takes for someone I love very much to be saved from eternal damnation, and protected from someone else's sin toward them.

--God, I implore you to intervene and save my unsaved loved ones. Do whatever it takes.

Ezekiel

I've been praying about something for a while now, and have been spending more time in the Word because of it. In reading through the Bible this year, before I turn 40 I plan to finish, the place I'm in is Daniel. But this praying hard started while in Ezekiel. Wanting to hear from God is all I need or am seeking. There isn't advice I want; it's a matter for God. And so as I read last night I was asking Him to show me how He can help me with this. The thing I was left with was that God is such a God of power and detail. The details in Ezekiel, particularly the last chapter when the land is being divided up among the tribes, are so careful. The God that I'm praying to, who is THE God, is perfectly aware of what I'm asking. He is not an absent God who is out of touch or who requires explanations. It seems to make praying a lot more effective when we approach it from the right position.

How amazing that after coming to this realization afresh, I got to start in Daniel. What needs to be said here? Who can doubt the power of God or forget it when reading Daniel? I can't wait to delve in to it again tonight.

Aside from these thoughts, what I've been reminded of recently or realized for the first time recently: if God leads you to start something, He will tell you when it is time to stop. There is no need to fret over it, just trust Him and be willing to stay the course even if you really do not want to.

(can be easier said than done!)

Nearly Comatose State of Prayer "Warriors"

It is easy to misinterpret the comatose, almost drugged state of those heavily involved in the prayer movement for profound Christianity. "They seem so peaceful", one might say. There is some problematic doctrine and strangeness with some of these 24/7 prayer ministries. We need to be careful to not confuse that strange, meditative state that Buddhists have as deep spirituality. It's often demonic in nature, not necessarily Christian even if the name of Jesus is attached to it.

Prayer German Homeschool Family Raided by Police, Kids Seized

Please take time to call the German embassy, and pray. 

Friends

It is that time of year to pray for friends. This is really an annual post, but rather than keep reposting I prefer to be fresh! Who knows, maybe there is something new once in a while.

The first time of year where I begin to pray for friendship is during the winter when we're making our school choices. Never do I want the issue of relationships to be what drives our educational decisions--academically or spiritually. But of course, we all need people to walk through life with and my hope is that through the educational classes we select, friends will come forth.

In this age of community in all sectors of life, it can be a challenge to keep the focus on   identifying first with the Father, God. I want my kids' loyalty to be with Him and His word, as well as my own. Groups can change and my concern here is identifying so much with a group that we stop being discerning. We can find ourselves loyal to a group long after we should have left. This is seen in churches that go the wrong direction --people are so tied to it socially that they refuse to look at the serious issues that might be reason to break fellowship. For these reasons, I think approaching friends in the same way we'll look for spouses later is a good idea: pray while keeping our eyes firmly fixed on the Lord, and God will bring the increase.

The times we live in are dark and there are many unreliable 'Christian' beliefs infiltrating the church. In my mind, it is dangerous to encourage too much sentiment with those who disagree with what we hold as Truth. Our kids could feel torn between what we say versus their friends think, or worse, they can grow to be undiscerning about spiritual matters, likely developing the attitude so many believers have today, which is that we just can't know or be certain about things we really can be certain about. It is hard to disagree with people we love and spend a lot of time with. We see the erosion of morality with the homosexual movement. Someone believes it is sin until a friend or family member comes out of the closet...we have to be watchful against the forces of darkness that can weaken our resolve or cloud our judgement.

For these reasons I spend time in prayer annually for the relationships the Lord wants us all to have. There is only so much time to put in to relationships, and it seems that without careful thought, we can neglect the most important for those which are temporary. Likewise, with limited time, don't we all want to make the most of the relationships we are blessed with?

God first, immediate family next, and then we each must decide where to go from there. The size of one's family surely plays in to the time needed for 'immediate family', and the time the parents have to spend with each child and then the family as a whole. Other categories to consider: extended family, church body where you are a member, others who share your activities, others who educate as you do, people who do the same volunteer work as you....

Perhaps other people don't think on these things and just go about however time allows and wherever the kids want the time to go.

However you approach this, we can probably all agree that the company we keep says a lot about us and can impact our thinking tremendously.

For now,

A Mother's Plea

Artist: Hymns Album: Unknown Title: A Christian Home

O give us homes built firm upon the Saviour,
Where Christ is Head, and Counsellor and Guide;
Where ev'ry child is taught His love and favor
And gives his heart to Christ, the crucified:
How sweet to know that tho' his footsteps waver
His faithful Lord is walking by his side!

O give us homes with godly fathers, mothers,
Who always place their hope and trust in Him;
Whose tender patience turmoil never bothers,
Whose calm and courage trouble cannot dim;
A home where each finds joy in serving others,
And love still shines, tho' days be dark and grim.

O give us homes where Christ is Lord and Master,
The Bible read, the precious hymns still sung;
Where prayer comes first in peace or in disaster,
And praise is natural speech to ev'ry tongue;
Where mountains move before a faith that's vaster,
And Christ sufficient is for old and young.

O Lord, our God, our homes are Thine forever!
We trust to Thee their problems, toil, and care;
Their bonds of love no enemy can sever
If Thou art always Lord and Master there:
Be Thou the center of our least endeavor:
Be Thou our Guest, our hearts and homes to share.