Parental Attitude and Position

There is a notable difference in parenting from the 'top down' versus coming alongside as a helper to our children. This is one of those things many of us can feel as moms, but we can't put our finger on it. We see a mom gently talking to her children and instructing them in a nurturing way, then we see the mom who is yelling and verbally crushing her children, bossing them mercilessly. There is a difference, right? We might say the first mom is cajoling or not serious about discipline, but then we see obedient children and mutual respect, so we back pedal on that critique. The stern mother is one to complain about her children and their utter lack of obedience, and we want to think she really loves them and that is where the hard line standard comes in to play, yet we never see the gentle soft side.

We all probably feel that we vacillate at times between these extremes, but as kids leave the toddler and very young years, we need to use discretion and wisdom with our approach. It is humbling and quite difficult to view ourselves as nurturing helpers, people there to disciple, love, advise, correct...put an arm around and punish with love when needed but also put an arm around and encourage, encourage, encourage. Too many of us can get caught up in outward malleability while not really touching our kids' hearts. As with many aspects of the infant years, we have to die to ourselves, serve our husbands as our top time and energy priority, and then serve our children second in those areas--serving, in love, not as a tyrant.

If we don't love them, build them up, encourage, correct and guide, who will? How do we want to be talked to? How do we want to be talked about? Put yourself in your child's shoes and make adjustments where needed. Hug your kids and tell them you love them.