Lying, What is it Really?

Growing up in a home where honesty was a fluid concept, as a born again Christian, I see the damaging results. Too often, lying is masked as a 'white lie'.  This notion rejects God's standard of truth and puts man in the seat of subjective judge. It attempts to convince oneself that the small lie is necessary and isn't hurting anyone. It is justified by our desires. The truth is that these little lies, the misleading statements and withholding what should be told, actually do damage. Distortion of truth aids in dulling the conscience God has given, and opens to door to greater sin. Trusting someone who lies in any capacity is simply unwise. Our spouses should know we never lie, it gives them confidence during hard marital times if they know we have a gold standard.

A high standard is critical if young eyes are watching. Teaching children to keep inappropriate secrets is something parents can inadvertently or intentionally do. Withholding what should not be withheld is a form of lying. Lying is not just saying what isn't so, it is withholding what we ought to tell. When we have failed, we often want to hide those failures by creating scenarios that allow us to avoid sharing information. Likewise, hiding behind our own pride so that we distort reality damages relationships. Relationships that should stand the test of time often crumble due to someone being disingenuous. 

1 Tim 4:1-2 'Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron.’

Being polite is not the same as being disingenuous. Secrets should be short-lived and intended to bless others when they are told. They should not be used to avoid consequences or mislead people's thinking. With this in mind, it should be noted that children do not process information the same as adults. Teaching them to keep secrets wrongly teaches them to violate their conscience. On the far end of the spectrum, child abusers do this; they try to convince a child that the wrong they are doing is ok, but a child's conscience has not been hardened to sin like an adults, and this violation starts the process of having feelings shame and guilt. 

Titus 1:5, “Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled.”

Sin takes us farther than we want to go and it's repercussions are far worse than we think. God is serious about honesty. If we are parents, we must model honesty in the strictest sense because children, especially older kids, see the truth of our actions. If they don't understand what we're doing at the time, they will later when they look back over their growing up years and put all of the pieces together. 

The downward spiral of destruction that comes from lying and avoiding the truth is often irreversible in this life. There is healing in Christ if you have become someone who lies, aka a liar. Tell God what you have done (He already knows) and confess to those you have hurt. God forgives a sincerely repentant person, and your own heart will heal when you've done the right thing, even if others won't receive you. God will.

The Conscience, Revisited by John MacArthur

Nigerian Christians During COVID-19 and Otherwise

Who wants to read this sort of story? My inclination is to pass it over and think of much happier things. Amusing Ourselves to Death is a book that comes to mind...I want to amuse myself to death. But the time to serve the Lord is short. Noah lived so long...the most we'll get is 100 years and probably years less than that. Let's gird our loins and dig in...and pray for Nigerian Christians being persecuted today. 

As COVID-19 spreads across the world, millions of Christians who already endure persecution from both governments and non-state actors are in even greater danger. During this unprecedented viral outbreak, FRC continues to track both persecution and the plight of religious minorities during the pandemic.

As part of our increased focus on international religious freedom, each month FRC is taking a focused look at one particular country, bearing witness to the abuses our Christian sisters and brothers there are enduring. Together, we'll remember those who are suffering greatly for their Christian faith. We will pray for them and, when possible, act on their behalf.

In April, we are focusing on Nigeria.

Cities across Nigeria are now on lockdown as Africa's largest country tries to slow the spread of the coronavirus. The pandemic poses a new and terrifying threat to the world, and it has become an added anxiety to Nigerian Christians who are already too familiar with the fear that accompanies long-term threats. For years, Boko Haram and Fulani militants have targeted Christians for kidnapping, extreme violence, and massacres. In March and April, further reports of attacks by Fulani militants reached us involving assaults on villages in four Nigerian states, with some 23 churches burned and nearly 30 Christians killed.

Leah Sharibu is one of 110 young schoolgirls kidnapped in 2018 by a Boko Haram faction in northeastern Nigeria during an attack on an all-girl science and technical school. She was just 14 years old at the time. Unlike the rest of the girls (who were released by the terrorists two months later), Leah remains in captivity -- over two years after her abduction. The reason? She has bravely refused Boko Haram's demand to convert to Islam and abandon her Christian faith.

Because Leah held fast to her beliefs, Boko Haram militants enslaved her. Recent reports suggest that Leah has given birth to a baby and is suspected to be a victim of a forced marriage to one of her captors.

Leah's story is one representation of the relentless attacks Nigerian Christians face. These ongoing assaults have included widespread murder, atrocious maiming, gang rape, globally broadcasted beheadings, and the burning alive of countless Christians victims in their homes and churches.

Two factions of Islamist jihadis are responsible for most of the violence. One is Boko Haram. The terrorist group known for kidnapping 276 young girls from their Chibok school in 2014, Boko Haram continues its assaults in northeast Nigeria, and its influence is broadening to surrounding countries. Much of West Africa is rapidly becoming a danger-zone for millions of residents, making security more important than ever.

Another murderous faction is identified by the innocent-sounding name "Fulani herdsmen." The Fulanis' violence is sometimes attributed to property confiscations for the intended use of pastureland. However, thanks to documented evidence of carnage, brutality, and Islamist ideology, the Fulanis' religious motivation has been exposed.

Young women who survive, like Leah Sharibu, are taken captive and enslaved, and their kidnappers demand their conversion to Islam. If they refuse, they often disappear. Or in Leah's case, they tragically become public-relations props for their captors.

This month, FRC is focusing on a faraway land with which many Americans have little contact. But for the sake of our Christian brothers and sisters there -- comprising nearly half of the country's huge population -- let's remember Nigeria's Christians. They face both the deadly COVID-19 pandemic and ever-increasing anti-Christian violence.

And please remember to pray for Leah Sharibu. Her fate remains uncertain, but we remember her courage and faithfulness.

In His Name,

Lela Gilbert
Senior Fellow for International Religious Freedom

Arielle Del Turco
Assistant Director of the Center for Religious Liberty

"Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them..." (Hebrews 13:3)

What No One Dreams Of

No one plans to grow up to then end their life.

No one plans to become an alcoholic.

No one dreams of being a drug addict.

No one hopes for being abused, or abusing. 

Few at the altar are planning the day they break their spouses heart and leave them.

But people do commit suicide.

People do take that first drink, risking a lifetime of regret.

People are fooled into thinking they can do a line once, or smoke some weed just occassionally. 

People do get abused, and someone is abusing them. 

When these things happen to us, around us, to those we love, around those we love, the question isn't 'why can't God fix it or stop it or make it not happen?'

The question should be, 'why didn't God fix it or stop it or make it not happen?', because He could have. 

But then this wouldn't be a fallen world, and that was not His choice--for us to live in a fallen world. He created, blessed, and let man do what he would. Man sinned. 

And God intervened, offering forgiveness and grace to those who would accept His provision of a perfect sacrifice to stand in our place as the payment for our sin. A system set up whereby a blood sacrifice is all that could wash away sin once and for all.

Oh, I know it sounds like a fairytale in some way and to some people. I wasn't born a follower of Jesus Christ; none of us are. But unless someone is living in utter denial, it is apparent we all sin, which means falling short of God's standard of perfect holiness. He didn't have to offer a way out of our sin. He doesn't have to allow any of us into Heaven, but the fact is, some of us will get to go. It isn't because of our goodness or brightness, but because we respond in faith to the calling of His Holy Spirit. Does His Spirit call everyone the same? I don't think so, and what does it really matter? If He is calling you, then you must respond. 

What life brings our way isn't the issue. The issue is this, what are we going to do with the hand we're dealt? It was said well in Rocky 6 when Rocky is talking to his son outside his restaurant. 

"The question isn't how hard you get hit, the question is how many times can you get hit and keep moving forward?" (apologies if I'm off here a bit)

We have to keep moving forward. We have to forgive. I was listening to a John MacArthur sermon tonight that stated the greatest thing we can do to be like God is to forgive others. 

Amen.

What Secular Psychologists Won't Tell You

Difficulty-

I know Christian women often struggle with how to proceed if their husband is abusive toward them. Trying meekness and mildness, they hope he will respond as he ought, especially if they think he is a Christian. But the sad truth is, sometimes a person is determined to sin against another, and no matter how unselfish or godly they are treated, they continue to pound away at the very person they are supposed to treat with love and gentleness.

I'm very hesitant to encourage just any Christian woman to be bold and tell her husband she's had enough and his treatment of her must stop, because some women really have not tried the gentle path first. But you know your situation and how you've acted, and if you have tried to be supportive and gentle to the best of your ability and he is still a domineering tyrant who lacks self-control over his emotions, putting you and your children in despicable situations, you have to stand firm and tell him he must stop treating you as he is. Do not waver in telling him you are finished with the situation and he must change or get help, every time he starts laying in to you. Don't stand there and take it, tell him to stop talking to you like that. If you are persistent, he will either change, go get help with you, or leave.

If you find yourself separated, get a lawyer asap to avoid missteps. I know for a fact from a friend in my state that this is very important. You can get a spouse to sign a paper you write up giving you custody and financial support and that can help. She did this before they met with lawyers because even though he'd cheated on her, he was remorseful for a short time and in that time, she got him to sign off on some things. Pretty much everyone goes through certain stages of emotions when a marriage is ending, and during the early remorse, before the anger, you can often take steps to get custody. Better yet, if you do make it clear YOU are done being talked to abusively and it's not changing, talk to a lawyer privately before you leave your spouse or say you want a separation so you can get advice on how to proceed so you have a better chance at custody. I would think anyone 18 or over in your house could offer helpful testimony in a court of law.

Some people will treat us as badly as WE allow. They certainly don't treat others that way,  so you know they CAN control themselves if they want to. People with domineering personalities often have very little respect for those they can control and run around, so if you start standing firm in how you will let them talk to you, they will curb their behavior or get frustrated and leave.

You are a child of God, and if this is what is needed for to last another day in your marriage, do it. Don't just walk away without a fight, which means, making it crystal clear that you have value and will not be treated like a dog. You are no one's property but God's. Bear in mind it's not fair to the person with whom you are married to not openly communicate you are at the breaking point and will no longer tolerate being mistreated.

In the end, if a marriage is going to be over, it's better for the other person to do the leaving. But if you must leave, at least make sure you give the other person the truth about how you are fed up and can't take it anymore so they have a chance to change. For a sin cycle to stop, SOMEONE has to change direction. Let it be you.

After reading all this, only you know where you are and how much you and the kids can keep taking. It may be you've made it clear he needs to stop talking to you as he has been and it's not changing, so you are beyond the scope of much of this note.

With love,