When We Stray From What's Right, We Complicate Things and Miss Out

Ways change and often we fail to really look at why. Should we just go along with the nouveau without considering the underlying reasons? The world certainly has ideas that justify why they do what they do. Are we careful to examine the 'why' if we're going along with the current trends?

How many couples do the things only married people should do, and so to make their wedding special, they turn it into something far more elaborate than they need to? Why is this?

I submit it is because what should have made it most special has already been done, and so they have to create other things to try and make it feel special. Sadly, all of the trappings can never replace what God designed. Trying to create a substitute for God's best just doesn't work. 

There should be nervousness and anticipation at a wedding-- innocence. A man and a woman coming together to live out what they've already demonstrated (hopefully) in their dating: him leading her in a loving way showing his care for her, and her doing what she can to show she'll be a suitable helpmeet. They should both have been showing a willingness to die to themselves and build a life that is truly pleasing to the Lord. They shouldn't look like professionals with how they are physically with one another.

Just as the engagement ring is a young man's gift demonstrating the best he has to offer, the couple is a gift to one another for after they say, "I do", offering all of themselves to each other. 

There are only a few opportunities in this life when you get to joyfully anticipate something wonderful that has some unknowns. Enjoy experiencing them. They are for a season that passes far too quickly.

Antisemitism is Alive with Ms. Rachel

Babylon Bee

Worth the usual laugh/cringe combination with this hilarious satirical piece.  

Not the Bee has the actual article regarding this popular children's content creator. 

Wedding Etiquette-To My Children

The degradation of society is seen through posts I find oddly, and shockingly, necessary to write to you three. In my heart, I feel certain this is unnecessary for each of you, but so that I can rest easy, and incase you marry worse than your father and I hope and pray, here it is.

You invite those to your wedding who will pray for you and support you in your marriage. You invite those who are family members in good standing and who have a relationship with you or Dad and I. Honor those who've taken an interest in you in the church family with an invitation. Above all, never invite married couples individually, meaning, without including their spouse. It is rude and insulting, and if you deigned to invite a wife without her husband, particularly if he is known to you, that is the height of matriarchy and insult. I don't care the reasons, fabricated or otherwise, but know that is unacceptable in a Christian setting to do such a thing. Let people decline, but do not presume to decide for them for any reason whatsoever. People make their own decisions based on what they are able to do and based on what is most important to them. 

You include friends and family of you and your spouse, and you include people who mean a lot to your parents. Sometimes it is work friends of your parents--people who care about us and so in turn, care about you. It is a beautiful time of celebrating and realizing that marriage involves support through the years of many, and it often comes about on the prayers of people who have loved you since before you were born, or helped along by those who are involved in our lives the most each week. 

Cut costs where you can and must, but not at the cost of harming relationships with people who rightly expect you to include them in such a happy time. It is better to do small and well, than bigger and foolishly. 

Lord willing, Dad and I will be here to help guide you through one of the best days of your life. 

Love,

Mom 

Does God Still Care About His Enemies? The Good and the Beautiful

We've recently finished studying Judges in Sunday School, and I was able to teach a few times. It is always so good to get to teach because of how much more study is accomplished. It is clear in Judges that God took His enemies VERY seriously. In looking at Samson alone, the wickedness of the Philistines was not something that God trifled with. In our culture of accepting everyone and all beliefs as valid, I think we need to be careful not to add to the problem. What is it that causes God to withhold His blessings upon us? Do we all, who follow Him, get the same blessings irrespective of what we do? I'm not talking salvation issues, but day to day living in obedience, which brings more blessings to God's children.  Here are some questions to ask as you consider life choices. 

Is God truth? 

Are we the friends of God if we teach truth? 

Are Mormons teaching truth? 

Are Mormons the friends of God? 

Do people with money gain more influence over our culture? 

I think it is valid to consider how many Christians willingly add to the immense financial coffers of Mormons by using The Good and the Beautiful homeschool curriculum. The issue isn't merely if anything anti true Christianity is taught, but are we not helping normalize this false religion by defending and supporting this curriculum? Do Mormons have a prominent influence in our world?

Things to look at and consider for the follower of Christ.

I do not know the woman who wrote this blog post and all the reasons behind it, nor do I care. I do care about this curriculum being made more mainstream if it is Bible believing Christians helping do it. 

https://homeschoolon.com/the-good-and-the-beautiful-controversy/

Deuteronomy 31:8 KJV [8] And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed

Pain

The people who feel your pain at least as much as you, and possibly more, are your parents. 

Silence

Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom. -Francis Bacon

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence. -Leonardo da Vinci

We are so rarely in the presence of silence, by choice and by the reality of our world. We rob ourselves of the great depths of learning with music in our ears non-stop. Even at the check-out, the workers have an earbud in, hindering their interest in interacting with customers I think... keeping their mind entertained. We share something that isn't self absorbed when we share the same sounds.

Children and adults listen to all manner of things on their phone or tablet. TVs are on for "white noise" in many homes. The most dangerous I think though, is the earbud. It shuts us off from the world, and we struggle so much with self absorption. I'm not saying to never use them, but when alone in a room or outdoors, that's not necessarily the time. 

How is this changing us as a race, all this noise? 

I feel that children need quiet and time to get bored. Creativity blossoms in that environment. Our bodies and minds settle when we aren't being stimulated externally. It's not just diet that matters, but also personal lifestyle choices. 

Adults need to model how to be still and thoughtful, but we also need to be still and thoughtful. 

I find myself returning to not listening to music as much as I started to recently. Talk radio ceased when Rush died. There's something I feel is very important in quiet.

Sobriety

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. 

Is this true?

In life, we can choose the actions, but we can't choose the reactions. 

That might be something to remember when being rebellious, selfish, or are lying. Sin takes us farther than we want to go, costs us may than we are willing to pay, and keeps us longer than we want to stay.

Education for Christans

https://youtu.be/HFXaOPOM7qA?si=pHc972HwkD8dnWdv

Good reminder from John MacArthur on public education for Christians. It is short. 

Child Rearing Tip--A Note for My Children

I was reminded of something today. 

If a child is old enough to defy a parent in a certain way, they are able to understand enough why you are correcting them. Waiting until they have the understanding you have is a recipe for a very sinful, rebellious child. Don't be deceived by resources that tell you kids need to understand before you discipline them. The rod of correction drives sin far from a child. When sin is committed, it is the parent's job to correct it as God instructs. As with the Israelites in the time of the Judges, partial obedience will bring God's hand of correction and consequences that are serious. The Lord has called parents to train up their children in the way they should go. Doesn't mean they will go that way, but we have to do the hard work of driving sin far from them while they are still young and under our control. First time obedience with a good attitude is critical. No talking back, no defiantly questioning before obeying, and it should be very rare that there's questioning at all before obeying, unless you somehow were not clear in your instructions. Kids can bring a biblical appeal if they think you've forgotten something, but if they question you and your authority in their lives, it is rebellion against God and needs to be treated seriously, right away. It isn't a matter of offending you, making you angry, or inconveniencing you as their parent. Are they obeying the authority God has put over them? If they aren't responding as they should to the Lord, then you need to step in and make sure they do not do it that same way again. 

Remember with firstborns, the younger are watching and the stakes are high. Satan wants your firstborn because he knows the others are more likely to follow and it will cause marital strife. It is like bowling pins. Knock down the one in front, chances of it hitting the rest are great. 

Finishing Well: Quotes

"The only guarantee for failure is to stop trying." - Unknown

"It's not how you start, but how you finish that matters." - Michael Phelps

"Finishing strong is the only respectable way to finish." - Gary Ryan Blair

"Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go." - William Feather

"The last mile is always the hardest." - Joseph Chamberlain

Of Course We're All Different

There's a young mom I know, who hasn't started homeschooling, but intends to. Numerous times she has commented, in a surprised manner, that all homeschoolers are different from each other. I find it intriguing that this is a surprise, because by it's very nature, homeschooling implies going one's own way and going against the social norm of putting your kids in public school or private school. Even though homeschooling has grown tremendously over the past 30 years, it is still not what most people are choosing for their families. 

So if homeschoolers are unique, which they are, what is it that binds them or forges their friendships? I think what binds is the weight of responsibility for educating and training your children. Taking that on, 100%, as parents, gives a common ground that immediately makes you relate to each other. So we enjoy meeting and talking and being in groups together because of this load we're all carrying...but what makes us choose those select few to call 'friends'? It isn't doing school the same way or using the same materials, though having the same foundation can certainly aid that. Many of my closest friends in our homeschooling years were in the groups I was in and we all transitioned to other groups as well. That said, what helped those relationships grow and continue? Having similar parenting philosophies is a big one. Similar values about life. Are you doers or talkers? That is a big one. There are those who want to talk all day and night every day about everything. Then there are those who go and do, and they do a lot often. 

People are different but there are commonalities that bind us to each other. Notice I'm not even discussing Christianity because to me, that is a given. Those who see the Lord and His word the same get a major in-road to who we are and how we operate, then we move into the lesser issues of education, philosophies and lowest on the list, curriculum. 

Repentance is Essential for Peace

When we sin it is often tempting to justify what we have done. We can find others who endorse our decision and help us think the situation through in a way that acquits us and casts blame or wrong thinking on others. But there is a wonderful gift the Christian has from God, the opportunity to have a peaceful conscious when we repent fully before God alone. 

When our conscience is nagging us, it is often because we are searing it with continued wrong thinking. I even recall, before I was saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, how I felt when others tried to tell me that the sinful positions I felt 'stuck in' were OK. I remember people wanting me to be at peace and they felt sorrow over the turmoil I was in. They were of their father the devil, as was I at that time, and they were doing all they knew to do: help a friend feel better by assuring her that how she was and who she was WAS OK. What else can the world offer when very challenging issues present themselves? 

I knew the lack of peace deep inside though. At first it felt like a helpful relief to be assuaged of guilt and sin. There is excitement that moving forward in 'freedom' can happen. But freedom to do things which are only sinful in nature is actually, bondage. And soon enough that happy emotion changes and the deep lack of peace sets back in. 

The reality is, only Christ sets us free. Free to NOT sin habitually. Free to live in newness of life and do what pleases the Creator God. Wrong thinking keeps us in bonds. Christians who perpetuate wrong thinking hinder the work of the Lord and they lack the total peace He wants them to have, which is something that enables them to freely serve Him unconstrained. 

How often do believers take up causes that do not glorify God, which CANNOT glorify Him by their very nature? Refusing to be conformed to Christ because of decisions they would regret if they'd let themself see the truth, they dig their heels in farther and farther, being sure they will convince others to see it their way, rather than let God help them handle the intense anguish over decisions that cannot be changed and which they regret and loathe the consequences they feel responsible for. 

Here's a light example but you will see the point. 

Fast Food can be prayed over to give us the nourishment we need but that will not alter the composition of the food and give it nutrients it lacks or remove what is harmful in it. The choice was made to eat the food and there are consequences to eating it. Even Chick Fil A is generally not going to be transformed chemically because of a prayer. God can do that or anything, but does He? The part that really matters is the decision made on the front end to eat it. As followers of Christ we're not to do what we want, where we want, and think a covering of prayer will make it ok. We don't think that right? And yet, how many times do parents act that way with the oversight of the precious children God has entrusted them with? Can parents follow whatever philosophy, and since they claim Christ, live as though the results will glorify Him? What about where those precious children created in the image of God are educated? Can we do whatever suits our fancy and pray over it and leave it at that? Will that fundamentally change something set against God? When we think of what is taught and exemplified in the government run schools (homosexuality, denying being made in God's image through gender denial, believing killing the unborn is OK, people living together with the opposite sex unmarried, the risk of abuse by a teacher or helper, godless curriculum, promoting religions that are contrary to Christianity etc etc), is it unwise to do what I just described, or is it wrong? Another word for wrong in the Christian's life is sin friends. 

My conviction regarding government schools is similar to my conviction regarding Roman Catholicism. I wish I found something in Scripture to make me think differently. It is not pleasant to go against so many that hold a different view. But I simply cannot see it differently. Until or unless the government run schools in America completely change and humble themselves before God, I believe Christian parents must do all they can to keep their kids away from them. There is too much at stake. There is not wisdom in the multitude of counselors in godless institutions. Can and will God work when there is a single parent or a communist nation that doesn't allow parents to have their kids in Christian school or homeschool them? Of course, He is a father to the fatherless. His grace is sufficient, but that doesn't mean all I've charged parents to do isn't still true. Mothers are to be the gatekeeper of their home and over the lives of the vulnerable children entrusted to her care, and fathers are to be the priest, provider and protector of the home. 

(I believe wisdom and careful discretion are needed if allowing a high school child to take a class in a public college or high school. For some older kids, it might be safe, but for others, it would not be. Let each go to God on that count and determine with their spouse the right course.)

But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil. 2 Thess 3:3

Image copied from Brett Felton's post on LinkedIn, who this author is not affiliated with in any way personally or professionally. 

Parenting Tips From Dr. and Mrs. Iles

https://www.acl.org.au/blog/blog-mi-parentingtips/

I happily came upon these tips while looking up information about Martyn Iles, the new CEO of Answers in Genesis. We support and affirm AiG's message and ministry, and with two children at Cedarville University, were aware of the recent Living in Babylon tour. We were able to tune in while our children attended live, and it was the first time we'd heard Martyn speak. Needless to say, it's a comfort to see the Lord's provision in providing a competent successor when Ken Ham is no longer serving. Martyn is brilliant. 

Regarding Ken and the late Buddy Davis, it's as though we grew up with them. Our children loved Buddy, and my husband and I were saved within AiG's first decade of existence. We've always been blessed to have excellent teaching regarding creationism. Henry Morris was a professor at Virginia Tech, where the Mr. and I came to know Christ as our Savior. We never knew Christianity without The Institute of Creation Research or the then-budding AiG. I recall clearly when we prayed for the Creation Museum to be built one day, and then the process of it finally coming to fruition. It was a project only God could oversee, and He did. Visiting with our children when they were small was incredible. I read every word of every sign (much to the chagrin of my "skimming" family!).

All this to say, these parenting tips are very good and I hope you'll aim for them!

Intentional Parenting (series)

I happened upon this series while watching the Revelation podcasts. In starting the first one, I feel these can be recommended because Pastor Skelly referenced and recommended my favorite parenting book, Shepherding A Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. 

Parenting goes so much better if you go about it in a way that honors the Lord. I hope you will take time to watch these. Perhaps on a Fri or Sat night with your spouse for a study time. 

Intentional Parenting Series by Pastor Kurt Skelly

Unexpected Scenarios

It is taken for granted when children are young and parents are young, that we can influence our kids, protect them, and offer guidance and advice whenever it is warranted. It is very sad to see parents who are too busy to be with their young children, pursuing their own dreams to the exclusion of regular family time. This is one thing I loved about homeschooling; so much time together to talk and interact, though it takes effort to really connect of course. 

I think one of the most difficult things older parents can experience is when their kids shut them out, and then make decisions that are not the best. Sometimes the decisions are dangerous or completely wrong. Adults, be they young or not-so-young, are free to do what they want. Wisdom seeks good counsel, which isn't always what is wanted. It isn't so wise to seek counsel from those who will tell us what we want to hear, or seek it from those who don't know us that well. When we seek counsel from many who don't know us, we might not get the hard truth we need to hear, because only those who deeply love us, or deeply love the Savior, will be bold enough to tell us the truth. People who aren't impacted by our decisions are often not invested enough in us to really lay it all out. 

Drying fig leaves for tea

What I'm learning more as I age is that we cannot lose our peace when people shut us or our informed counsel out. We can only do what we can do, which sometimes is just cry out to God, and ask Him to watch over our loved ones. When we could save our loved ones from disaster or just a rough road, we can't care more than the person who is going to likely end up in a mess of their own doing. It is painful when we could help but are not asked, but we must humble ourselves before the Lord and remember as His children, He is loving us and caring for us, and ultimately we should desire to serve Him where and how He wants us to. 

Stubborn self-reliance and pride have led more than one person down a wrong road. Yes, there is wisdom in a multitude of godly counselors, and at the same time, people who don't go to their own family for help can look like they don't actually have a support system. People may wonder, "Why isn't their family helping them? They must not have a close family to count on." If that is our situation, we can't help that there is a strong family available but not wanted. I'm not saying that one's family can provide all that is needed, but it can certainly save us from looking like a person who has no strong support system and MUST therefore RELY on friends or strangers. 

When we're in need of help, we should go to God first, and then after talking and listening for His answer, we should go to those we trust the most to keep the condition of our hearts and walk with the Lord a top priority. After that, we can seek wise counsel from trusted friends we know have our back. God is a jealous God. He wants and deserves first place in our hearts.

Reputations are built quickly and changed slowly. 

Working at Home and Homeschooling

I stumbled upon this article regarding homeschooling moms working from home. It could apply to anyone trying to be home and working with small children though. 

https://heav.org/work-at-home-mom/

Can't Worry More Than the Responsible Party

 A few weeks ago I was bothered about something that was not in my control. In talking to my daughter, she reminded me that I can't care about something more than the person who should care. It seems those are words she heard from me at some point ...they have resonated in my mind numerous times since she said them. 

People want what they want and they don't want what they don't want. We can see a better way or what we are convinced is the right way, and it doesn't matter. That is always going to be the case, just like how there will always be the poor among us. Dynamics in marriages and families are the same as they have been since the dawn of time. Some prepare for things in life, some read, some plan. Others wing it, don't read,  and by all appearances, do not plan. 

There are parents who work hard and are excellent. Others neglect what brings excellence. 

This being true, the bottom line is, we are responsible for our own lives, own marriages, own homes, own families, and own children. Some people succeed, and others fail, and others are somewhere in between--perhaps alternating at random between those two poles. This is life, and we each get our opportunity. 

The grace of God is powerful. It is important to pray for ourselves and others. We all need His guidance.

For the Children's Sake

After having not read this book for over 15 years, I've been going through it afresh. It's excellent, particularly in the hands of a parent striving to biblically raise their children. I hesitate to recommend it as a first book on parenting if someone isn't yet convinced corporal punishment is effective and biblical, or for someone who might think secular schools are ok. I can see parents who lean toward being child centered missing (though it would take effort to miss... ) the critical importance of quick obedience for this beauty to play out. Being effective with obedience (first time with a good attitude) obviously necessitates an effective method of getting the child trained when very young, and a proper heart attitude of the parent must accompany that method. This shouldn't be missed. Home educators need to understand the importanceof obedience, and if they do, they will truly appreciate the teachings in this book. 

Things Change

I've always loved the yard...gardening, grass tending, flowers, playing with my dog or just sitting out there listening, praying, thinking... Many fond memories from when my beloved children were young and lived at home full time fill my mind whenever I'm out there. 

In recent years I've had to forgo gardening, which has been a big change. The work I do now precludes hobbies that have me low to the ground, bending my knees unnecessarily. I never imagined that would happen, but it has. The sun is very hot now on my skin, something else I didn't foresee. The prolific strawberry patch has been covered over so that the weeds and plants do not return. It is hard on the back to deal with picking berries and weeding over and over! 

All this to say, the most notable change that I couldn't have imagined, is a rather profound sadness when I'm outside, spring beckoning, and walking the perimeter of the yard, talking with my dog. I say "with", but I guess it is more "to". She doesn't respond (thankfully, not yet, anyway.) Thoughts of my youngest invariably come mind, and it is hard that he is not here. We weren't outside all the time together, but the deep joy I had from the times out there together have left a deeper impression than I realized at the time of the making. He was often helping me do things; and working outside together brought me so much pleasure. He liked being outside, too, and was generally happy to help. His strength made jobs very easy for me :). I guess it was just really nice to have someone to get to do things that were sort of getting more difficult, but which enabled the enjoyment to be there, and the companionship was nice. He was always a good listener and had things to say, too. The yard rather became my sons as he aged because part of manhood training gave the mowing and trimming there to him. Plus the dog and lots of her training was done by our son. We'd often talk of going fishing or just out to Colonial to drive around and see the sights. That was a place we enjoyed together, and the nicer weather brought it up in our conversations.  

It is just interesting when we love a place, and spend time in that place with someone who is happy to be there with us, how it creates something special. Maybe more than we realize. 

So maybe encourage your kids to be with you doing things you love. They will, possibly, learn to love those things with you. And special memories are made. While there is sadness later in those places, it is so much better than emptiness or just your own solitary memories. 

In closing, let me encourage the reader to be nice to your children. Love them enough to make the right choices. Love their dad, and enjoy the long days you have together. If you do things right, one day you will lament their leaving as they make their own way in the world, praying fervently for the Lord to watch over them, keep them safe, and guide their steps. Because the time comes that they have to go, and you will want them to, but it doesn't always make you feel happy. ♥

Another Post for My Children-The Premier of 2024

To My Beloved Young Adult Children,

I've been thinking and talking with Dad about young children and a few important things to keep in mind.

It has occurred to me that the memorization work involved with classically educating is very important, no matter how you decide to educate your own children one day. There can always be a memory portion added whether you go traditional, note-booking, Charlotte Mason.... Training the young mind to retain will reap rewards throughout your child's life--the importance can hardly be overstated. Your father and I agree it is a game-changer in the development of children for their education, and when the ripest opportunity ends, it is over, and it cannot be regained. No time is as fertile for memorizing facts as the elementary years. Use them well! Be sober-minded in regard to the responsibility to give your child every opportunity that promotes godly character and excellence in learning.

Along this line, remember that as stewards of the children God gives you, you must feed their minds and bodies protein each morning and each meal. The brain grows so rapidly! Strive to not waste a single meal on trash that is essentially empty calories full of fat or sugar. Being entrusted with the lives of young children who are fully dependent on you is the greatest blessing ever, and you want to do all you can in every respect to give them your best for their betterment. Set them up for success! A child does not know what they are missing if you only give them quality and they gain an appetite for what they are fed. How many children would be better behaved or smarter if they were fed wholesome nutritious meals, particularly at breakfast? A child who is never given sweets does not know they are not getting sweets. Live by a good standard and hold your children to a high standard. You want to look back knowing you were thoughtful, careful and loved them well. 

Finally, I've recently solidified a thought that has ruminated around for a while and it is a caution of sorts. This may not be anything more than anecdotal, but it seems to me that those home educators who are drum-beaters for a particular method are most likely to be afflicted with a pride that is woven rather tightly into the fabric of their being. It is a challenge to put into words, but my cautioning will hit the mark by simply stating what I have. As the saying goes, there are many ways to skin a cat and thus, there are many ways to educate. In point 1 above you see that my chief concern is to remind you that memory work is critical. Beyond that, find what you (or your wife) can successfully work with, and what your children respond well to, and do it heartily. No one here expects you to do things exactly as we did. You aren't clones of us and even if you were, your spouses will not be. Your state will have its mandates--Lord willing we will still be free to home educate. 

Keep God as your guide and seek Him. We will be here to cheer you on and love you.

Thankful for each of you, my pride and joy,

Mom