Lying, What is it Really?

Growing up in a home where honesty was a fluid concept, as a born again Christian, I see the damaging results. Too often, lying is masked as a 'white lie'.  This notion rejects God's standard of truth and puts man in the seat of subjective judge. It attempts to convince oneself that the small lie is necessary and isn't hurting anyone. It is justified by our desires. The truth is that these little lies, the misleading statements and withholding what should be told, actually do damage. Distortion of truth aids in dulling the conscience God has given, and opens to door to greater sin. Trusting someone who lies in any capacity is simply unwise. Our spouses should know we never lie, it gives them confidence during hard marital times if they know we have a gold standard.

A high standard is critical if young eyes are watching. Teaching children to keep inappropriate secrets is something parents can inadvertently or intentionally do. Withholding what should not be withheld is a form of lying. Lying is not just saying what isn't so, it is withholding what we ought to tell. When we have failed, we often want to hide those failures by creating scenarios that allow us to avoid sharing information. Likewise, hiding behind our own pride so that we distort reality damages relationships. Relationships that should stand the test of time often crumble due to someone being disingenuous. 

Being polite is not the same as being disingenuous. Secrets should be short-lived and intended to bless others with they are told. They should not be used to avoid consequences or mislead people's thinking. With this in mind, it should be noted that children do not process information the same as adults. Teaching them to keep secrets wrongly teaches them to violate their conscience. On the far end of the spectrum, child abusers do this; they try to convince a child that the wrong they are doing is ok, but a child's conscience has not been hardened to sin like an adults, and this violation starts the process of having feelings shame and guilt. 

Sin takes us farther than we want to go and it's repercussions are far worse than we think. God is serious about honesty. If we are parents, we must model honesty in the strictest sense because children, especially older kids, see the truth of our actions. If they don't understand what we're doing at the time, they will later when they look back over their growing up years and put all of the pieces together. 

The downward spiral of destruction that comes from lying and avoiding the truth is often irreversible in this life. There is healing in Christ if you have become someone who lies, aka a liar. Tell God what you have done (He already knows) and confess to those you have hurt. God forgives a sincerely repentant person, and your own heart will heal when you've done the right thing, even if others won't receive you. God will.

The Conscience, Revisited by John MacArthur