Slander and Pride in Prayer Requests

Most women are familiar with gossip being a potential pitfall when sharing a prayer need. Too often the "need" for prayer becomes a bash session or a town council style opinion meeting if it isn't carefully shared. This isn't new information for those who desire to avoid gossip. 

There is another issue that I think we sometimes miss in prayer request time that has had me thinking though. It is the issue of slander: speaking against someone in a way that harms their reputation or negatively shapes the opinion of others. It can happen before we know it, and it can be one of those things we didn't intend. Slander can be factual or false, and it can flow out of a lack of humility and pride, but also lack of foresight. Too often if something is true we think it is ok to openly share. (True as in absolutely true, or true in our own minds and opinion.)

The truth is,  however,  whether something is factual or not, it isn't always helpful or appropriate to share. We should be able to see what is our own opinion of a situation and "our truth" for what it is--possibly clouded and mistaken, especially within the confines of a serious relationship problem. 

Before sharing a prayer need about a problem we have with another person, we should ask ourselves what exactly are we saying about the other individual? Are we saying they are a thief, a liar, an adulterer, deceived, malicious, that they have an anger issue, or something else? Is the problem absolutely one-sided (like a person has a clear substance abuse issue or is in a cult) or is there a chance both parties are at fault to varying degrees? We should always ask for our own hearts to be changed in situations with subjectivity. 

We don't want people coming away from our prayer request thinking poorly of someone else if it can be helped. I realize there are times this is unavoidable. In such cases, prudence is advised. Instead of sharing in a group setting, ask a trusted friend or two to pray (if details are required that will shed negative light on someone else). Regardless, whenever we have a problem with another person to the degree that it leads us to seek the support of others, our attitude should be that we are willing to see the situation differently if God sees it differently. There should be a measure of humility, our love for the other person should be clear, and our desire for reconciliation over being right should be obvious. If we aren't there yet when we share the need, it is important we're open to advice on the matter and do not approach it like we have it all figured out.

In closing, let's consider being vague in prayer needs so we respect the reputation of others, and being sure to communicate our own willingness to change our perspective. There is usually something we can improve upon in any problem situation. 

To God be the glory