If you are looking for a lovely place to have a special celebration or a delightful afternoon tea with some friends, check out Belle Grove Plantation! It is beautiful and the tea service is wonderful. I recently looked to see if they were still having teas and went to the incorrect Belle Grove website. Here is the link for the B&B which hosts elegant tea services!
https://bellegroveplantation.com/afternoon-tea
In January they are doing a special drawing for a free TWO NIGHT stay! Check it out :
I can't think of the way the world responded to COVID-19 and not think of Rev 13 when the anti-Christ and false prophet are deceiving the world. My mind immediately goes to Catholics I know well and how utterly panic stricken they were. How they judged those who didn't jump in the Kool-Aid pool, losing the ability to reason and think clearly. It is ironic the people I'm thinking of are Roman Catholic since that false belief system is devastatingly wrought with members who will follow the anti-Christ because they do not know God. Just as people, even Christians, were led down wrong paths of thinking with the coronavirus, the false prophet will lead the native, lost--all who are unsaved... into a world of lies. Those who do not belong to God, through Christ, are slaves to sin, they are the unsaved. They cannot help but walk in the path of destruction. This path is the one everyone walks in if it has not been interrupted by the truth of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
All people are born with a sin nature. Sin is anything we think, say, or do that offends God, who is the creator of the world and all living things. Our sin is a serious problem. It must be remedied if we're to enter Heaven, a holy place, when we die-- whether our death is timely or untimely. Blood sacrifice is the only thing that can make our sin ok. It is the only thing that removes our sin. God set this system of forgiveness up. Jesus was a perfect man who was the payment, once and for all, for the sins of the lost who would be redeemed. Christ's death was not in vain. It accomplishes all God intends for it to accomplish. God calls and draws people to Himself and when a sinner responds in humble repentance, asking for God's forgiveness for their sin, the payment Jesus offered is added to that sinner's account. This is being born again, born spiritually into the family of God. God holds us for all eternity from that point on. God sees those who trust Christ to be their payment, or ransom, very differently from those who have not trusted Jesus. God sees repentant sinners as sons and daughters! No longer a slave or alien, but a member of the family!
If we think we do not sin, we simply do not understand what sin is. It is lying, purposefully misleading, or is stealing, murder, adultery, fornication, abusing substances that harm our bodies, gossip, slander.... our thoughts are sinful and so are our actions. We must be honest with ourselves and look at our lives as compared to the perfect standard God set up. There is one God, the Lord of all Heaven and earth.
Do not be like those in Rev 13 who are so deluded they fail to see the wretched evil we've been warned about for over 2000 years. Be free in Christ---forgiven and free to not sin.
I'm not sure if it is the overt wickedness of the culture, the shameless lying the left will engage in while everyone looks on, base movements such as BLM that are tearing at the fabric of what comprises a civilized society, or my ever-increasing age, but I find myself less concerned about being close to people who are only pretending to be Christians, or who give lip-service to being Christians, regardless of who they are. The gap between worldviews is just massive if we're looking at someone born again and someone not born again. The tricky thing is, we can't live in a bubble of only believers. We must get out and share the gospel, and be involved with the lost so that we get opportunities to explain who God is and how to be reconciled to Him.
I'm thankful that it is God who makes the dead come to life in being reborn; that is is He who draws and calls people to Himself. I'm thankful I'm to be praying and keeping my eyes on Him, while entrusting Him with the business of saving the lost. That requires me to pray for opportunities to be among those yet saved and to have the right words at the right time.
As we are reflecting on the goodness of God in sending Christ this Christmas season, how about learn some fun facts about the hymn Joy to the World? It turns out that it wasn't originally written as a song, and it wasn't originally intended to be a Christmas carol. :)
This subject has definitely been written about on this blog, but perhaps not exactly from this angle.
Pride....so many varied faces.
Oftentimes, when a person finds that they are more alone than they want, or are avoided by people to an extent, pride can be the culprit.
We can think more highly of ourselves than we ought, and people do not like this. We can encourage our offspring to think more highly of themselves than they ought as well. Beware, parent. You just may be your child's Achilles heel!
If we often give our unsolicited opinions, it is as if we are saying, "What I think is important, listen to me!" Maybe it is important, but wait for times that it is helpful or wanted. Trying to show your knowledge isn't always welcome. Prayer requests aren't open opportunities to give advice to someone. I'd say that is a time to NOT offer opinions or advice. People will ask if they want advice, usually from people they respect. If you are compelled, ask the person if they are interested in your thoughts on the matter. Be willing to be told no.
Not bettering ourselves can be a more subtle form of pride. For example, shunning college or failing to see the value in it for others because ultimately we think we know everything already...this is shockingly prideful. Failing to understand why some should go to college is insulting. Everyone should use the gifts God has given them to the maximum. God gifts some intellectually. We should all make the most of what God has gifted us with and cultivating our minds is part of that to varying degree. It should make sense that if the Lord has seriously blessed someone with a love of learning, the ability to learn and succeed at high levels, they should foster that to glorify Him. To be content to not better ourselves in ways that develop our minds, and thus open options for better work opportunities, is short-sighted and foolish. Men should consider this carefully. College is certainly not needed for many careers, so don't waste your time if it isn't. But the operative word there is CAREER. High school caliber work isn't going to provide for a family, and you want skills that transfer to multiple settings. For example, a skilled mechanic will have their pick of places to work. No college is needed and it is a good career. Taking special certification courses is often a smart move, and demonstrates planning for the future and humility. We don't know it all because we know some.
That last sentence really capitalizes on wrong, prideful thinking. Taking high school Biology merely introduces you to the subject matter. College Biology will begin with some basics that are repetitive, and only a fool would say, "I've already learned all of this; I'm dropping the class!" College Biology goes much farther and deeper, and the subsequent courses do as well. Introductory courses at the college level do not begin to plumb the depths of a subject. The humble person sees this and realizes the more they learn, the less they know. Exploring the depths of Biology takes years of advanced classes. This is true of all subjects.
Do not think you bring more to the table than you do. Assume you bring very little and you will find more friends and less people avoiding you. Quite simply, pride goeth before a fall.
Now that I have older kids, I would like to think my opinion has changed on how near to live to family when first married. After 24 years of marriage, and recalling how our first years went, my view has remained the same by and large.
It is best to live a bit away from family when first establishing your married life if it is clear that you as a couple need that to truly establish your own home. Observation has shown me that when this is not the case, new couples often overly complicate how to split their time with each side. This could be due to excess pressure from one side, or one mother-in-law. Regardless, distance would help this dynamic. Having some distance can help couples leave and cleave, particularly if the extended family is unsaved or particularly weird. If the new husband or wife cannot keep their strange family at bay, some distance can help as they work out how they want to do things within their new household.
I've recently been thinking about a few less-than-ideal-situations I've encountered, and it occurred to me that the strangeness of them all is a common spirit of the old green-eyed monster, jealousy.
Jealousy causes irrational and hypocritical expectations of others. 'While keeping life and experiences painfully close to the vest in a harrowingly tight-lipped fashion, Beatrice demanded to know why her cousin's pet-sitter didn't personally tell her about her new throw pillows!'
It causes us to stop engaging with what someone is saying about themselves and instead make a comment pertaining to ourselves. "Um, when I said what I just said it was for this reason, not for you to suddenly get paranoid about your self and shift the conversation in a different direction about you...but ok...let's talk about you now".
There are people who are noteworthy hypocrites, and the root cause can be jealousy. These folks genuinely give the absolute least in an area that they demand the most of others in. Rather than ask themselves why such and such happens, these folks can only see themselves as wrongly not getting first bidding. They deserve it, just ask them!
What we give comes back to us...it is the old reaping and sowing system God set up. Why aren't we satisfied with the results of our relationship efforts? Obligatory acts look very different from close relationships. If you aren't close to people you want to be close to, honestly look and see if you are behaving in a way to cause things to be as they are. Reputations are often built by repeatable behaviors.
Being private about our lives is great, important even. Particularly if one is in delicate circumstances. Sometimes, however, we need the body of Christ to come alongside us in prayer. Having a few trusted prayer-warrior friends is a gift from God. While we need local good friends, having out-of-state praying friends is quite priceless.
I've asked trusted people to pray for me a couple of times the last few months, and I can see the effects clearly. My thinking improves. For example, I can see afresh that rude people are their own punishment, they live amidst self- inflicted unhappiness. My life does not have to be impacted by people like that. I can deal with the momentary problem, then go on. Crazy, angry, people do what they do and I can continue to do what I do. When we know we have not wronged someone who breeds conflict, we can rest easy.
The same goes for the people who love to know everything going on...the people who talk to everyone and ask questions to learn more than folks prefer to share, or those who learn about you and like to stir the soup with their knowledge. People who need to flaunt what they know about you so they can give the impression of being important...or so they can incite jealousy, or so they can add credibility to their own stories by casually talking about you like they are your pal, always angling, essentially using your good name to influence others with their ideas. We can let people live while we live, trusting the truth will set us free.
Lord, help me be holy, pray for those who despitefully use me, and enable me to love my enemies.
Doing the same thing, in the same way, and expecting a different result equals insanity. We must make different decisions if we want different results.
Homemaking is about cleaning, decorating, cooking, and generally creating a safe, comfortable place for your most cherished loved ones. To make it about something else misses the point and will lead to not actually fulfilling the intent of homemaking.
Working for an employer is about performing the duties you've been hired to fulfill, diligently, on-time, in the manner the employer desires. To do something else would mean you are not working within the parameters of being a good employee. You might be busy, but you aren't fulfilling the design as it has been laid out, and thus, ultimate success will not be recognized.
Education....gaining knowledge and understanding about a particular subject, demonstrating mastery according to the syllabus as determined by the instructor.
College-- It is for gaining understanding and knowledge about a particular area of study, with the successful completion resulting in a diploma which further leads to gainful employment. To do less than this is not success. To make it about something else is to not fulfill the purpose for which college has been designed. You might be busy, but if the end goal is not met, success will not be achieved.
When we make something about something other than what it IS designed for, we set ourselves up for failure. Unwittingly we have expectations that must be met outside the parameters of the confines of the task. If homemaking is primarily about having friends over, we've made it about hospitality....which means our focus is not actually on our family. We might have a vibrant ministry to ladies coming into our home, all the while neglecting the creation of a peaceful respite for our weary husband.
We might make our place of employment about pushing our political agenda or evangelism, but if we are not dutifully fulfilling what we've been hired to do, we are not good employees and are not being careful stewards of our employer's resources or our time as a worker. Is evangelism good? Yes, but if we are not hired as an evangelist, we better not be slothful about our WORK.
If we attend college with secondary or tertiary priorities as our main driver, there is going to be trouble when those side issues fall by the wayside. What we can completely control in college is the effort we put into the academics. Friends coming and going will not change that, injury will not ruin that, nor will not being good enough to stay on a team. Character development and growth in Christ are terrific byproducts of attending university for the right reasons when we get involved in attending and serving at a local church.
Ask yourself, are you embarking on an aspect of life with the same approach you've had before, expecting different results? Let's not plan to fail. Let's plan to succeed and keep the main thing the main thing.
A strapping 17 year old young man asked me if I'd posted lately, to which I replied, "No". Running a small business has taken the majority of my excess time and energy. When I'm home, there is much to do in the way of home management and home making. I love both of those things, but I'm continually seeing the benefits of this season of working outside our home.
The busier we are, the more in-focus life's events become. Prioritization is able to be honed when we genuinely need to prioritize! While I pray for God to send us the funds for college, I want to use the time He's given me to work effectively toward the goal we have of sending our kids to college debt-free. I tend to think that this time of learning to identify as something other than homeschool mom is going to help and bless my kids far more than anything else I could be doing.
It's like a distant memory to recall going into my husband's office, crying, as I foresaw what was to come....which was me not being a homeschooling teacher. The feelings of being lost, unneeded, unimportant....they were so real and the pain was significant. I'm thankful now to be able to confidently see that there is no need for a homeschool mom to worry or fret as the chapter closes. God has a way of helping us grow into something new as we seek to glorify Him. Giving our kids the space to be their own people is a challenge if we don't get busy with things outside of them. Thinking of myself, my brand as it were, as Cleaning by Jenny, has completely eradicated the need or desire to identify as a homeschooling mom. I used to be that, but now I work hard to help people love the space God has blessed them with. I'm enjoying my children being able to live life on their own, in many regards. And I enjoy meeting new adults, helping them, staying fit and helping my husband meet our goals.
God is good and so faithful!
Martyn Lloyd-Jones| Martyn Lloyd-Jones on: |
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The Bible says there is none righteous, and that we are dead in our trespasses and sins. Left to our own devices, we are on the road leading to eternal separation from God. We do not go up from damnation to neutral, because there is no neutral. We can't move from neutral to damnation either, because again, there is no neutral, thus, we do not go from neutral to Heaven, or from Heaven to neutral. If we start at the bottom (damnation), things look very different than if we pretend we start somewhere else. God has graciously provided a way for the lost, which we all start out as, to move from damnation to eternity with Him.
Sometimes people act like we all start with Heaven as our next stop, and it would take an awful lot to change that. But that isn't true--eternity with God requires something of us. Sometimes people act like we start in a neutral position and decisions we make will determine if we move up or down. But again, we cannot choose to go lower--we can't be moved down. We all start at the lowest point already, and the Bible is clear that everyone either spends eternity in Heaven with God or in Hell apart from God.
Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift of forgiveness in Jesus Christ.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not a result of works, so that no one may boast." Eph 2:8-9
How I look forward to the return of my King and High Priest!
Businesses getting political make me weary. Wal-Mart has decided to do what they can to spit in the face of Roe v. Wade being overturned. Will I shop there as much as before? I'll try not to. We do what we can with the resources God has given us, though in this world ruled by Satan, we cannot avoid all of the negative repercussions.
Wal-Mart Expands Abortion Insurance Benefits
Person A believes in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the infallibility of Scripture, loves God, sees Him as loving and just, and has their view of the mechanics of how one comes to be saved, but it is by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone.
Person B believes in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the infallibility of Scripture, loves God, sees Him as loving as just, and has their view of the mechanics of how one comes to be saved, and it is also by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, but they differ some from Person A.
For some reason, Person B can't stand the way Person A sees the mechanics, and thus accuses them of creating an unloving God. Person A, however, believes God IS loving. It is Person B, viewing and understanding Person A's beliefs, who comes to the conclusion God must be unloving to think as Person A does---but stay with me, only Person B thinks God is unloving in this scenario. Person B--according to their own view, sees God as loving, and so does Person A. Both are genuine born-again Christians.
In light of this, why does Person B waste time attacking Person A? Person A is not attacking Person B. Person A could accuse Person B of believing in a small God-but they don't give that air time. Why does Person B care that Person A's views makes they themselves see God as unloving? Clearly Person A has reconciled their own view to land with a loving and just God.
Why would you apply someone else's 'truth' to your own views or put conclusions or words in someone else's mouth? Is it possible to not really understand how someone else is seeing and understanding the Scriptures? Is it not better to give the benefit of the doubt to fellow Christians?
I've got my views and I trust in them. It is inane to me to focus on what other people believe and waste time reacting to it. The more you react to something (ie a bully), the more credence you give something typically...isn't that what we've always thought?
Is this manner of acting/reacting of God or the enemy?
Who is being divisive and tearing down the body of Christ? Our enemy is not on the inside of orthodox beliefs people, but on the outside. It is a wicked world, and yes, it is true that focusing on it is uncomfortable and difficult. Interacting with this culture is miserable, but it does not warrant micromanaging and tearing down the body of Christ. Make no mistake, we are ALL part of the body of Christ who believe that it is by grace through faith and not of works that people are able to spend eternity as forgiven people in God's presence. Only through the shed blood of Jesus Christ are we saved, and the issue I'm referring to is dealing with sincere people who hold to the truth I've just stated.
Do I know all the ins and outs of those outside orthodox Christian beliefs (Mormons, Catholics, JWs, etc.)? No, that would take away from the valuable time I've got to do what God has called me to do. It is discouraging, tiring and makes me angry when believers attack other believers. It has no place in the church as far as I'm concerned, and it is dangerous to attack godly men who love the Lord and are doing the work He's called them to faithfully.
Whenever I see one group continually calling out and criticizing another, I don't look disparagingly on the group being attacked, I look disparagingly on the attackers. What are they afraid of? Why can't they just do the work they have been called to?
God said what He said, and it is too bad if it doesn't fit into some cut and dry mold. He is good, loving, faithful, sovereign, just, and I trust Him to work out, rightly, all the things. I'm not going to pretend He didn't say such and such because in my human reasoning, it wouldn't make sense. He said it, I believe it.
Man's wisdom falls short where God's excels. Let God be true, and every man a liar.
It was recently time to take our middle child back to college, and that process meant passing through the town that claimed our oldest for the last three years. The oldest is now back in the nest while an advanced degree is sought. It is the first time our oldest and youngest are the only kids home together. Fresh starts...they are still coming for us as our home educating years wind down.
Year one of our oldest being away was tough. We adjusted and grew, and fell in love with the church and life there at school, in many ways. The novel virus interrupted year one, and two was also altered some. Year two was mostly noted as it left us with only our youngest here at home.
Our middle child was ready for university life as much as we were able to prepare for...but God had plans we didn't expect. Serious computer issues, perpetuating overkill on the virus kicked in on the campus-contrary to what we were expecting which resulted in the need for a vehicle at school, a sprained ankle, and loads of stress. It was very taxing to the point that two weeks after that initial drop off, we were on the road to deliver a car. It was the third time in three weeks that Mr. ACL did the long drive. The end of that year was a victorious time! We had our first college graduate and our second freshman year completed!!
This year with number 1 and number 3 home is the only time we'll get this mix. We've got a senior in high school and a working professional. Next year, Lord willing, we will just have our oldest home while the younger two crank out college. Newness abounding!
Why am I bothering to write about this? Well, sometimes life seems the same or monotonous, but if we really look we will see subtle variations. As we do our work as unto the Lord, for His glory, let's approach each new day with anticipation of newness and opportunity. It helps to keep us moving forward with purpose. As our kids come and go, one day they will just go....and the house will settle into a quieter norm. This is good and natural, but I want to make the most of these shrink/swell years because I love my kids.
Often in the current culture of self-proclaimed experts, there is too much of a good thing, and the results can be quite unpleasant, sometimes dangerous. Herbal remedies and essential oils can readily lend themselves to this reality.
If you have rashes, chronic sinus issues, a sore throat, a scratchy voice...talk to an allergist about testing and/or see a dermatologist, and be sure to share your use and routine with oils and skin care. If you take essential oils or herbs, get a physical from time to time and have blood work done to ensure your numbers are all in safe zones. It is easy to overdo supplementation, and doctors study interactions and side effects in important ways that lay bloggers or hobbyists do not necessarily know. The use of these 'natural' items is common, so it isn't a great unknown among many actual physicians. Peripheral dermatitis could be the root of the mouth or nasal area rash/bumps you have. Or you may have folliculitis, rosacea, or a staph infection...it isn't typical to have very red patches of skin that look inflamed, and a persistent scratchy voice isn't normal either for most non-smokers. Self-diagnosing can miss curable problems, and can lead to small issues snowballing because they weren't dealt with in a timely manner. Even with a diffuser, it is easy to incorrectly use essential oils and overdose. If you keep them going for more than 30 min and the door and window of your room are shut, this could be a problem. Read on
https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/ss/slideshow-essential-oil
https://www.cedars-sinai.org/blog/skin-conditions-look-like-acne.html
https://achs.edu/blog/2017/08/15/aromatherapy-essential-oil-dangers-and-safety/
https://www.cnet.com/health/are-essential-oils-actually-safe/
It is still surreal that Roe v. Wade has been overturned. For so many years, most of my life really, this was a desire and often a prayer. In my 10th grade Biology class I argued for why abortion was wrong for a debate topic.
Now here we are with states being able to have their own laws!! Let us not be complacent; it is still something to thank God for! May He bless the states that are banning abortion and prosper them spiritually and fiscally.
Here is a current map showing the status:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/us/abortion-laws-roe-v-wade.html
One day I want to live in a state that does not allow the murder of babies. I want my taxes going to a state that has taken a stand for life, and that's where I want to be a blessing to a community. Let the states that kill the innocent sleep in the bed they are making.
In a shocking turn of events, 2.5 yrs into the 'pandemic' where the recovery rate is still extremely high, the CDC has realized people can use their own risk assessment judgment on how to conduct themselves regarding the novel virus. Does this mean people may stop telling others they might get a cold after being around them and that they no longer should socially distance or quarantine?
The word 'fatigue' was even mentioned in the article, and not in regard to symptoms, to the useless regulations that have destroyed lives, economies, damaged relationships and revealed how untrustworthy the US media and medical advisors are. Of course, the liberal news source didn't come out and say it quite like this writer did. I'm cutting through the masked refuse.
The main thing COVID has shown is how idiotic the world is, at large and individually.
Nothing has changed for this writer with the aforementioned news, except hope that one day 'home test' will revert to thoughts of home education and nothing else.
I've got a good friend whose son grew up alongside one of my daughters. At some point, I was lamenting to her mother that he's her only child left unmarried....and he is dating someone! To my friend, I had mentioned it would be nice to all get together, which wouldn't be easy since her son no longer lives in the area...he's in college and is a man taking charge of his life.
Wisely my friend simply said that she does not get involved with her kids dating lives. That really resonated with me since I've known this lady well for quite some time, and I know she's lived through some things. I've also been on the receiving end of people forming relationships with us solely because one of the children in the family had designs on one of my children. I didn't think my suggestion would be nearly as brazen, offensive or off-putting, but it is still on the same side of the coin.
My good friend has my respect. I took her advice to heart, and decided to steer clear of set ups in any form for my children.
Prayer, no games, and I'll continue to befriend people I like as friends for me--no strings attached.
Recently I wrote a post geared more toward wives and how they can be a blessing to their husbands, but tonight it has been on my mind to write a few words to husbands who wish their wives were more fun, or more fun-loving. If you seldom laugh with your spouse, or aren't really friends who enjoy days alone together, read on.
How often do we come to be dissatisfied with a creature of our own creation? A financially prudent husband could, after many years of marriage, find his free-spirit wife to be a bit, dis-spirited. The whimsy of their youthful days and her dreaming are long gone......he recalls it and how full of energy she was, yet fails to realise he has squelched any dreamy-ness by seldom, if ever, giving her the chance to be 'free'. Has his practical side won out time and again to the point she doesn't even bother trying to ask about that puppy, or flower garden or playset for the grandkids? Perhaps her life would be more joyful if she had been allowed to have some hobbies at home.
Wives can also be taxed by free-spirited husbands who saddle them with the job of picking up the financial pieces as they wheel and deal how they wish, often spending money needed for serious things. This scenario is tough on wives. The husband expects her unfailing enthusiasm and support as he neglects her gift of financial savvy, then leaves her worried about how the bills will get paid. He irresponsibly prattles about while she laments and robs Peter to pay Paul.
Marriage is meant to allow us the chance to give in to one another when reasonable. We grow when things aren't always our way!
--Do we have to love every idea from our spouse?
--If your spouse doesn't like to be with you that much, why is that? Are you more fun with others, and if so, why? Do you do something rather often they can't take much of?
--Are you selfish and unbending? Have you asked your seemingly unhappy spouse if there is something really fun they'd enjoy doing or having, and then helping make it a reality?
--Think of things that drive you just about other people and ask God, or your spouse, if you demonstrate that same tendency. Often we are great at diagnosing our problem, but we mask it by being critical of someone else.
Don't be afraid to hash these things out. Fresh starts are always available if we are willing to humble ourselves. God's mercies are new very morning! It takes intentional work to be close as the kids move out. Start before they are gone! Watching my sister do this made a big difference. She worked hard to enjoy time with just her husband when the kids were young teens and that has carried into truly relishing time together now that it is just the two of them.
If you failed to plan for the empty nest, then dig in now and date your spouse. Pay attention to what they like and want. Learn to cook together, get a little vacation cottage, join a gym together (and go together weekly), plant a garden....if you want to be interesting, then become interesting! I knew a lady many years ago who purposed to read about what her husband was interested in so he would continue to find her attractive as the years went along. This runs both directions.
To have a friend, you need to BE a friend. Start with who you sleep with.
The sermon above is one of the best, if not the best, I've heard given on biblical submission. Pastor Darrin is the pastor of First Baptist Church in Wheeling, WV. I've been listening to most of his messages for about 4 years now, essentially for one year prior to my oldest child attending his church and the subsequent 3 years when she was a member. Now that she's no longer there, I continue to listen because he is a pastor full of love for his congregation. He sacrifices, along with his beautiful wife, to serve the people God has entrusted him with. The time and attention he puts into studying cannot be missed and are matched by the other pastor I strive to listen to weekly, John MacArthur.
If you listen to the sermon linked to above, you will surely know what respect for a husband looks like. As a wife, I usually know, but sometimes I'm not paying attention and might act in a way that isn't respectful. We all learn what our husbands want, or at least, we should...and as seasons change, we should take stock and see if we need to up our game.
God gives us husbands to be our priest, provider and protector. How do we honor that? Our tone of voice, stopping to look at them and greet them when they enter a room, looking at them when they speak to us, following their lead---these are things that mean a lot. Our husbands should be who we ask first about biblical questions and who we go to for advice. They are the spiritual head of the home and they appreciate when we show regard for their opinions.
Regarding husbands being our providers--whether a wife works outside the home or not, it is her duty and calling to keep the home and make it a haven for her husband. We are told to be keepers at home. If we do not have to work for financial reasons, I don't think we should if we use it as an excuse to not cultivate the skills of maintaining a lovely place for the family to live. We show respect to our husbands when we make the home a priority. They have provided it, and our nurture of it shows our gratitude in ways words alone fail to do. Not liking housework or cooking is an excuse that is, quite honestly, lame. I do not think God is pleased when wives rebel and refuse to keep the home in a way that is pleasing to their husbands or who will not learn to cook because it isn't fun. NO amount of outside work makes up for failing to obey God's word. There is safety for a wife to not be influenced regularly from outside the home, and being home and tending it causes a dependence on the husband that is good. Home made meals are healthier, budget friendlier, and a wife can stay in shape keeping the house up which is a way to respect her husband. Look good for your man as best you can!
Honoring our husbands as our protector--God has set up the family unit so that men are the head and that is because BY DESIGN men are strong--mentally and physically. They create a hedge around the family, and we need to look to them as that by placing ourselves under their watchful care. The more we are out of the house, the harder this is. Women who do not have husbands should be under the care of their father, meaning they should defer to their Dad's advice first and foremost, letting suitors know how close she is to her father. It is a protection for her. Wives who are clearly under their husbands will naturally have less negative influences coming at them from the outside. Everyone just knows that a wife backed by a strong man is not easily swayed.
Ladies, learn your husband's wants and needs and do things the way he wants. That is how to respect him. Don't make him tell you to cook for him and clean the house and do his laundry--of course he wants that, but he doesn't want to have to force you. Submission is to willingly and lovingly cultivate what is needed to serve your husband. It is an attitude from the wife, who can hire some things out if needed, but she should first make sure she is putting aside those things that are easy "go-to's" outside the home and do the hard work of being a competent home maker. That shows a husband respect for what he has done and shows you care about him enough to take physical care of him. In the process, you will surely benefit. ♥
Pastor Darrin and John MacArthur do a tremendous amount of studying for the messages they prepare. Thankfully, these can be accessed by those of us who aren't in their churches. With today's technology, listening to sermons has never been easier. This is a sober truth that brings much comfort as we witness, time and again, to lost loved ones. At some point there is rest for the weary soul of the saved, knowing that it is God who draws and calls, and ultimately, people will do what they want to do. What they WANT to do...It isn't dependent on us doing everything right, tirelessly praying and reaching out, striving like mad to be a great example every time we interact...
These are dreadfully wicked days we're living in. The line of demarcation between righteousness and wickedness is becoming clearer and clearer, in ways that cannot be missed-even by those who are simply moral and yet unsaved. It is a good time to double down on being in the Word, listening to truth and being transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we do not lose heart while we continue to serve the Lord in whatever capacity He's given us.
Pastor Darrin recently finished up a little series entitled Family Matters, preached May 15th, 22nd and 29th. Worthwhile listening!
First Baptist of Wheeling is where all the sermons can be found.
John MacArthur cranks out messages like no one else. I've enjoyed 2 messages from Ephesians recently (June 12th The Perversion of Love and June 19th From Darkness to Light).
Interestingly, Pastor Darrin's 2nd Family Matters message (May 22nd) is from Eph 5:22-24 and John MacArthur's From Darkness to Light is from Eph 5:8-14.
I hope you are encouraged if you tune in ♥
Something I've observed and have grown increasingly concerned about are older married couples who are not heading in the same direction. It seems that often after 25 years of marriage, give or take, people look at who they married and wish that person were different. Failing to observe that we often do not help our spouses cultivate qualities that would satisfy both them and us, the thought is for something new and fresh...someone else who has more excitement and vivacity perhaps! People will lay the blame in various places such as the fact they are unequally yoked, the husband has negative qualities he won't change, the wife isn't interested in listening/talking....it doesn't matter. The point is, all reasons can sound justified, but does that make any real difference?
The reality is that we marry people who bring things we need and want to the table, but who also bring what we do not want, but need. If we consume ourselves with careers, it can be easy to reach retirement and not really know the person we're bound to. We may not have much in common with them. This can be particularly dangerous if one spouse is retired and the other is not.
Christians do not believe genders are interchangeable, so we must not act as if they are when it comes to this later-in-life dynamic. Women often identify more with the home and children, they often have numerous friends and hobbies. Men, however, get their worth and sense of meaning from their career as it provides for their wife and children. Who would seem to need help in navigating retirement more then? For wives who have chosen or had to go the career route, it does not mean things are just the same for them. While it is hard to identify with one thing more than another, we are called to help our husbands, bottom line. We are supposed to be keepers at home, so when the options exists, we ought to look closely at it.
Being a wife means self-sacrifice in a way that is different from a man. In the early years, both sexes sacrifice in very different ways (in a traditional Christian home setting). In the later years, this is also going to look different. Sometimes we need to give up what we want in order to be the helpmeet God has intended for us to be.
I recall many years ago when visiting my friend whose mom was of Norwegian dissent. She was a gorgeous woman and her husband was a University President. I distinctly remember her saying how she worked to keep her mind sharp and interesting for her husband as they aged.
Christian--whether you are a man or a woman, what do you need to cultivate in order to be appealing to your spouse? What needs to change? What do you need to give up in order to be there for your spouse in this new season? Do not be naïve and think neglecting your spouse is going to leave your hands clean. We are each responsible to tend our own garden, build up those we are bound to for life, and give up that which doesn't serve the team.
I remember when my daughters stopped playing with Barbie dolls. There wasn't a warning or a ceremonial ending; just one day, they stopped playing with them. It was the same with ballet lessons and Irish Step dancing, baby dolls, Legos and playing dress up. Suddenly the phases of childhood came to a halt without warning. I'm thankful that being a full time homemaker and homeschooling momma didn't end without warning. For years I knew it was going to come--well, at least the homeschooling part. It wasn't clear until a few years ago that working would be part of the equation for me so our kids could attend the colleges the Lord was leading them to.
Studying Outdoor Recreation, one thing we learned was how the anticipation of a trip was a very large part of the enjoyment. Surprises are cool, but anticipating a trip is almost as important as the event. The percent escapes me now but it's possible it was a higher percent of the enjoyment than the actual trip....
Along that vein but exactly opposite, was my experience with the end of life as I'd known it as a homeschooling/homemaking mom. For a couple of years the anticipation was hard. There were tears and lots of uncertainty. I loved all the things that were a part of my life as a home educator and homeschooler. From the early days of breast feeding and cloth diapering to gardening and canning, incubating chickens, teaching my own kids, teaching other people's kids, learning to cook for various allergies and health needs, keeping a tidy home, educating for academics and spiritual growth, preparing home cooked meals--it was all a joyous challenge to work out until what I considered success was mastered. Days were full and my life was profoundly fulfilling. I couldn't imagine what it would be like after my work wasn't pouring into my kids and home day and night. There were times my heart felt broken and my purpose in life felt murky. Even as a Christian, I just wasn't sure how God would use me so that I'd feel my life had meaning.
As always happens after a time of darkness, the sun comes up and God shows Himself so faithful. The little cleaning business I'd started when our kids were very much at home became the focal point. I went from 1 client to 0 when Covid started because my dear friend was put in an assisted living. For about 8 months I prayed and waited, and then a friend asked me about cleaning her house. When 8 months more had passed, 3 more people had taken me on. Four months after that the number grew and then suddenly 2 months later my number was 8 clients. Here we are now, 4 years after my tiny business began and I've got 10 lovely families I'm able to clean for, and I love my work. It is beyond anything I could have imagined to help people care for the space that God has given them to be themselves, relax, have fun together and rest in. Home--it is such an important place. To get to make it clean and lovely for people is deeply satisfying.
Only a great God who cares about His people can do something like that. Take a simple momma and help her feel that her life has meaning by cleaning other people's homes. Meanwhile, my own home dynamic is very different, but I'm fulfilling my new calling to serve my family by making money for college. It is a good thing to help our husbands carry out what they see as the right way to go. Whether we agree or not isn't the issue. God is faithful to bless when we keep our eyes focused on what He's said we're to do. So ladies, when your years of homeschooling are coming to an end, trust the Lord. Ask Him to show you what you can do, if you need to make money. If you don't, ask Him to show you what to do to stay very busy because a woman with too much time on her hands quickly becomes a busy body, often with insatiable lusts that make her unpleasant to be around.
