Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3 KJV
Have you ever been a certain way, wanted to change, but just couldn't 'get there'? I had a strong hold in my life that God began revealing when we we moved here to VA 14 years ago. It involved relationships and how I dealt with them. It is clear in reading through many posts from 2012-2014 that relationships and pain were a big, regular part of my psyche.
What I couldn't have remembered without these blog posts is how hurt I often was by the actions of loved ones. I can see that my perspectives weren't based on nothing...there were definitely things that would happen which were legitimately wrong, for lack of a better word. But in the last several years, God has taught me that regardless of what others do, my perspective makes all the difference. I needed to get my needs met by Him alone and take whatever came my way in the form of other relationships.
An old friend of mine had shared with me that she needed to change her expectations of people in her life, and then Bible study after Bible study chipped away at my overly emotional responses to situations with others, which were often rooted in too much 'self'. An older woman I really respect was taught by one of her bosses that pastor's wives shouldn't really have friends...and the why of that slowly became more and more clear to me and gelled with my own views.
After my close friend committed suicide, God finally got through to me after more than 10 years of loving me enough to keep bringing this problem to the forefront of my life. The freedom I've found is hard to put in to words. No longer do I look for, want, or expect other people to fill voids in my life, whether family or friends. My emotions are no longer on my sleeve; I don't give people access to every part of my emotional being as I used to.
It has been a 14 year process of change and growth, and I'm so grateful God did not give up on me. A song I wrote as a child has come to my mind so many times as I've contemplated posting this summary.
Here is one part of the song: People will let you down, look for a smile find a frown. When you feel all alone, no place to call your home...turn to the Lord...
When I made that song up it evoked so many emotions. Now it just resonates as the truth in it has become part of the bedrock of who I am as a woman.
Have you ever been a certain way, wanted to change, but just couldn't 'get there'? I had a strong hold in my life that God began revealing when we we moved here to VA 14 years ago. It involved relationships and how I dealt with them. It is clear in reading through many posts from 2012-2014 that relationships and pain were a big, regular part of my psyche.
What I couldn't have remembered without these blog posts is how hurt I often was by the actions of loved ones. I can see that my perspectives weren't based on nothing...there were definitely things that would happen which were legitimately wrong, for lack of a better word. But in the last several years, God has taught me that regardless of what others do, my perspective makes all the difference. I needed to get my needs met by Him alone and take whatever came my way in the form of other relationships.
An old friend of mine had shared with me that she needed to change her expectations of people in her life, and then Bible study after Bible study chipped away at my overly emotional responses to situations with others, which were often rooted in too much 'self'. An older woman I really respect was taught by one of her bosses that pastor's wives shouldn't really have friends...and the why of that slowly became more and more clear to me and gelled with my own views.
After my close friend committed suicide, God finally got through to me after more than 10 years of loving me enough to keep bringing this problem to the forefront of my life. The freedom I've found is hard to put in to words. No longer do I look for, want, or expect other people to fill voids in my life, whether family or friends. My emotions are no longer on my sleeve; I don't give people access to every part of my emotional being as I used to.
It has been a 14 year process of change and growth, and I'm so grateful God did not give up on me. A song I wrote as a child has come to my mind so many times as I've contemplated posting this summary.
Here is one part of the song: People will let you down, look for a smile find a frown. When you feel all alone, no place to call your home...turn to the Lord...
When I made that song up it evoked so many emotions. Now it just resonates as the truth in it has become part of the bedrock of who I am as a woman.
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