Our Actions Impact Others

It isn't any big revelation that our actions impact people, but I think we can fail to think through how our actions impact others. When in doubt, don't. That is wise advise I was given once. It is clear when someone has done something against us that they know wasn't above board. They may openly confess it, which is certainly preferred, or they go the route of Aaron regarding the golden calf and say that something 'happened' but leave out their role in it happening, because that is the part which reveals where they went wrong. The issue is, when we do something like that, other people get brought into it and are put in a difficult or awkward situation. You've brought them into your circle of sin or offense, let's say. When people feel they need to hide something from someone else, that should raise a yellow flag. It might very well just be adults being sensitive to the feelings of others, but it might be confusion over different protocols. Within any organization, there is a way things are done. When someone goes rogue, it puts people in a sticky situation. 

We don't absolve our guilt, or gain the respect of others, when we dance around what we've done. Telling someone we've wronged that we didn't do what we know they are thinking we did, doesn't amount to saying we're sorry. It also doesn't amount to admitting we did something wrong. What it does is insult the person wronged, because what is said is essentially, "I know you think I was doing this, but I wasn't. I feel uncomfortable 'for some reason', but it certainly isn't that I was doing what you are thinking, and by pointing all this out, I'm innocent and any frustration you feel is on you. I'm giving you all the reasons why what I did was noble, so for you to disagree shows you are a small person, and if you are upset, you are a small person because I've told you the details and explained why you shouldn't be bothered."

I'd like to point out to the reader, that is a sure way to make the offended person 1. mad and/or 2. disinterested in having an intimate relationship going forward. No one appreciates being told how to respond, it is emotional manipulation. Being forced to be polite when they are unhappy, because telling someone they are wrong when they are playing such games is futile. When you have numerous data points that people think differently on an issue, even if it is different from everyone else, it is a bit of a pearls before swine dynamic. 

How to move on? Pray for grace to rise above, be kind, and wisdom on being shrewd going forward.