I'm working on painting our dining room...it's a project which began last summer I regret to to report. It's typical of a room that is a challenge. Part of the struggle was selecting paint colors. Leaving my beloved Behr, I found myself nearing desperation in Benjamin Moore, earnestly seeking 3 coordinating colors. Today when I went in to make the purchase, I was delighted when the salesman said he would carry my purchase to the car. He hoisted the 3 gallons and some supplies on his shoulder with ease, and followed behind me as I headed to the car. As we neared the door, that subtle interaction occurred, which often can, between a man and a woman. Given how polite he was with the heavy items, I slowed my pace just enough for him to get the door for us. I can't help but wonder what went through his mind in those moments, if anything. I know that many men today worry about offending women with acts such as that.
In today's world, so many women want to show they can take care of themselves. Men are often brushed aside as she gets the door herself or opens it for him. The delicate dance with a stranger, of assuming gender specific roles, is often a thing of the past. There was a time where I would have rejected the offer for this salesman to carry my products, and a time where I would have squelched his manliness and gotten the door myself. But now I realize there is a beauty and a rightness in allowing myself to be a card carrying member of the weaker sex, and a beauty in depending on the strength of a man to look out for me. I can't help but feel it does something good to the soul of a man when he is afforded that opportunity, because God made men to provide, protect, and lead. It feels good when we're all doing what we were designed to do.
In all honesty, this man probably didn't think very much about the interaction we had today, unless at some point in his life he was yelled at for offering to carry something for a woman or was scoffed at when he opened a door for a woman. I was decisive (since I'd been in the store numerous times over the last few weeks) and he had never seen me before. There was no way I could carry that load easily all the way to my car, and he was providing the service he was probably trained to provide. But I knew in that instant as we reached the door, a decision on my part would determine what transpired next. And he was watching for my cue--would I step ahead and hold the door open for him after I went through, or would I do that imperceptible movement of appearing to not break stride while slowing, communicating that I'd be pleased for him to get the door?
This simple interaction has given me such a feeling of thanks and praise to God. Being freed from the shackles of liberalism brings great peace and satisfaction. I feel sorry for the times I squelched various men's desire treat me like a lady, and hope to be successful instilling my children with the proper view of how to act around the opposite sex. Of course, ladies 'can' do 'it' ourselves very often, but it isn't about can; it's about should. Are we bettering society by telling men we don't need them or appreciate their strength or desire to treat us as feminine? Or do our subtle ways of taking care of the little niceties a part of the wicking away we've seen in our culture of traditional gender roles?
Christian moms, please do all you can to teach your daughters to be competent, but also wise. One day they may marry men that need help in becoming confident as a leader; chances are he will need her to stand by him as he makes a few mistakes. She may enjoy feeling as though she can conquer the world when she is young, but as she ages and her body starts to ache, she'll find she is not as strong as in her youth. I think many ladies will regret teaching their husband, and possibly sons, that they don't appreciate or need their strength. I love the glow in my son's eyes when he helps me by doing a 'man's' chore, and how eagerly he skips to open my doors. I want him to show honor and respect to ladies in this way because I believe it will carry over to all the ways in which he relates to a young lady in the future. It is a privilege to be a member of the weaker sex, and I feel the deception women have allowed themselves to be caught up in over the past 40 years or so has led to more stress related health problems and premature aging. If you are married and not fully satisfied with your marriage, I'd like to recommend a book: Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. I know there are some men out there who really have twisted their position and responsibility so much they don't enjoy things being done the way God designed, but I think many men respond quite well to a wife that shows him respect in ways that speak to him. It's part of how they are wired.
Just a few thoughts~
Ann
In today's world, so many women want to show they can take care of themselves. Men are often brushed aside as she gets the door herself or opens it for him. The delicate dance with a stranger, of assuming gender specific roles, is often a thing of the past. There was a time where I would have rejected the offer for this salesman to carry my products, and a time where I would have squelched his manliness and gotten the door myself. But now I realize there is a beauty and a rightness in allowing myself to be a card carrying member of the weaker sex, and a beauty in depending on the strength of a man to look out for me. I can't help but feel it does something good to the soul of a man when he is afforded that opportunity, because God made men to provide, protect, and lead. It feels good when we're all doing what we were designed to do.
In all honesty, this man probably didn't think very much about the interaction we had today, unless at some point in his life he was yelled at for offering to carry something for a woman or was scoffed at when he opened a door for a woman. I was decisive (since I'd been in the store numerous times over the last few weeks) and he had never seen me before. There was no way I could carry that load easily all the way to my car, and he was providing the service he was probably trained to provide. But I knew in that instant as we reached the door, a decision on my part would determine what transpired next. And he was watching for my cue--would I step ahead and hold the door open for him after I went through, or would I do that imperceptible movement of appearing to not break stride while slowing, communicating that I'd be pleased for him to get the door?
This simple interaction has given me such a feeling of thanks and praise to God. Being freed from the shackles of liberalism brings great peace and satisfaction. I feel sorry for the times I squelched various men's desire treat me like a lady, and hope to be successful instilling my children with the proper view of how to act around the opposite sex. Of course, ladies 'can' do 'it' ourselves very often, but it isn't about can; it's about should. Are we bettering society by telling men we don't need them or appreciate their strength or desire to treat us as feminine? Or do our subtle ways of taking care of the little niceties a part of the wicking away we've seen in our culture of traditional gender roles?
Christian moms, please do all you can to teach your daughters to be competent, but also wise. One day they may marry men that need help in becoming confident as a leader; chances are he will need her to stand by him as he makes a few mistakes. She may enjoy feeling as though she can conquer the world when she is young, but as she ages and her body starts to ache, she'll find she is not as strong as in her youth. I think many ladies will regret teaching their husband, and possibly sons, that they don't appreciate or need their strength. I love the glow in my son's eyes when he helps me by doing a 'man's' chore, and how eagerly he skips to open my doors. I want him to show honor and respect to ladies in this way because I believe it will carry over to all the ways in which he relates to a young lady in the future. It is a privilege to be a member of the weaker sex, and I feel the deception women have allowed themselves to be caught up in over the past 40 years or so has led to more stress related health problems and premature aging. If you are married and not fully satisfied with your marriage, I'd like to recommend a book: Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. I know there are some men out there who really have twisted their position and responsibility so much they don't enjoy things being done the way God designed, but I think many men respond quite well to a wife that shows him respect in ways that speak to him. It's part of how they are wired.
Just a few thoughts~
Ann
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