It is taken for granted when children are young and parents are young, that we can influence our kids, protect them, and offer guidance and advice whenever it is warranted. It is very sad to see parents who are too busy to be with their young children, pursuing their own dreams to the exclusion of regular family time. This is one thing I loved about homeschooling; so much time together to talk and interact, though it takes effort to really connect of course.
I think one of the most difficult things older parents can experience is when their kids shut them out, and then make decisions that are not the best. Sometimes the decisions are dangerous or completely wrong. Adults, be they young or not-so-young, are free to do what they want. Wisdom seeks good counsel, which isn't always what is wanted. It isn't so wise to seek counsel from those who will tell us what we want to hear, or seek it from those who don't know us that well. When we seek counsel from many who don't know us, we might not get the hard truth we need to hear, because only those who deeply love us, or deeply love the Savior, will be bold enough to tell us the truth. People who aren't impacted by our decisions are often not invested enough in us to really lay it all out.
What I'm learning more as I age is that we cannot lose our peace when people shut us or our informed counsel out. We can only do what we can do, which sometimes is just cry out to God, and ask Him to watch over our loved ones. When we could save our loved ones from disaster or just a rough road, we can't care more than the person who is going to likely end up in a mess of their own doing. It is painful when we could help but are not asked, but we must humble ourselves before the Lord and remember as His children, He is loving us and caring for us, and ultimately we should desire to serve Him where and how He wants us to.
Stubborn self-reliance and pride have led more than one person down a wrong road. Yes, there is wisdom in a multitude of godly counselors, and at the same time, people who don't go to their own family for help can look like they don't actually have a support system. People may wonder, "Why isn't their family helping them? They must not have a close family to count on." If that is our situation, we can't help that there is a strong family available but not wanted. I'm not saying that one's family can provide all that is needed, but it can certainly save us from looking like a person who has no strong support system and MUST therefore RELY on friends or strangers.
When we're in need of help, we should go to God first, and then after talking and listening for His answer, we should go to those we trust the most to keep the condition of our hearts and walk with the Lord a top priority. After that, we can seek wise counsel from trusted friends we know have our back. God is a jealous God. He wants and deserves first place in our hearts.
Reputations are built quickly and changed slowly.
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