Surrendering to Motherhood

I am thankful the Bible teaches us that it is men who are called to lead the family and to the ministry of preaching the gospel. When men are given a help meet, that woman is not then called to co-lead, if she is a pastor's wife, she is not then called to preach. A woman married to a man has a completely different role to fulfill than he does, though in some situations they may work together. She doesn't start going to work with him generally, doing all the things he does. She is not called into ministry in the same way as her husband. It is the husband who is called to provide for his family, and it is a husband who is called to full time ministry, and wives are called to serve their own husbands. If children come, the wife is then called to motherhood, and ideally she will approach it with the same full time attitude her husband approaches the work he has been called to. 

As his help meet, there may be things she does to help her husband in his work, but her primary job is to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It is concerning when women, who say they are not liberal, act like they have work to do that is more important than raising their children. Likewise, the husband needs to not pull her into his work too much. They are not co-leaders with the same tasks. The wife needs to embrace the role God has given her and not use outside activity, even church activity, as a way to regularly get away from her duties as a mom. Just as children benefit immensely from seeing their parents put one another first when dad comes home from work, so does society and the church benefit when they see a mother put her family first. The sacrifice of a mother is often unseen by other people, but it is seen by God. The results of a committed mother are most certainly seen by society.

In the church setting, I was able to see this dynamic of a wife serving differently, but importantly, in the church where I was saved. Our pastor led, counseled, taught Bible study and was always at church when ministry was going on. His wife was not down in their basement with us kids and her husband doing the Tuesday night college Bible study. She was upstairs with their six children preparing food for the college students. She was being a help to her husband's work, but doing it in the behind the scenes way suitable for the season of life she was in. She didn't leave her kids upstairs unattended or leave them with babysitters to go serve the Lord. She was the primary educator and caretaker of her own children. As a rule, where Rose was, her children were.  

Sometimes I think conservative women can feel they are being full-time mothers and homemakers in the traditional sense if they simply don't get paid for what they are doing, yet their lifestyle says something else. Going to the gym for hours each day, having the kids in sports or dance each day, even serving at church often...it can end up having mom's focus off her family for many many hours. Is mom really raising her children, or is she avoiding them with other activities? How is volunteering, where a woman leaves her young children regularly, different from working outside the home? Volunteering, socializing frequently, or serving in the church can take a lot of a mother's time if she doesn't have clear priorities and her role as a mother firmly instilled. For the record, Grandparents can be a help, but they are not given the responsibility of raising children.

As conservatives, let's be consistent with upholding the importance of a full time mother in the home and in the church. Surrendering to motherhood is a bit of a process, but with a willing woman and the leadership of a godly husband, it can happen beautifully.