Looking Ahead

I was thinking recently about how where we live when our kids reach the age of college and marrying will impact the rest of our holidays. I'm not sure why this occurred to me this year, but it is a thing to think about if you happen to be able to relocate at some point during your children's lives.

Think of this-kids grow up and get married. If their spouse's family lives in-town close to where you live, great, everyone will stay in that town and get to see everyone on holidays. Your kids will see their in-laws and you. If one of your children marries someone with an out-of-town family, they may alternate the years they see each side or the holiday they see each side. This will  mean staying put at home so the kids can come to you. With multiple children, the odds of having some always available to come home and some not available, is higher. Even if the parent's generation can go see their siblings on holidays, it is unlikely all of the younger generation will be able to when they are married because they'll have each group of parents to see.

God has put my family several hours from both sides of our extended family, and so this is all very relevant to what my future likely holds. I see now why my friend's mom was saying that it was only recently she got to see her sisters again on Christmas. Everyone was busy with their own grown kids and their families, and it just isn't possible to get everyone together. As I think about other older people I know who live in another state from their siblings, they never see their extended families on holidays. Their kids see the in-laws first, then they head to their house later in the day.

It is a good reminder to be thankful for these years where we can all be together. It is a sober reminder to think hard on where you want to live as you raise your kids--nearby family or farther away? Sometimes we can't choose this so we have to trust God with it.

We worked to get as close as we could to our family 9 years ago, but as I think on these later dynamics, it will possibly not be close enough to all be involved with the extended family once my kids are married.