Laundry is often a topic I turn to whenever I get the hankering to write about home life. It is a task that has been used to enlighten, stretch, challenge, frustrate, annoy and grow me. I'm sure it's blessed me because of all those things, too. (Some of those adjectives are redundant, but they just beckoned to be put to type.)
When my children were infants, hands down, I was doing all the laundry.
Toddlers helped sort socks (great matching exercise)
3-4 yr olds helped fold washcloths
5 yr olds helped fold hand towels
6 yr olds folded little shirts and shorts...
This progression moved forward until around 7 yrs old, everyone could wash a load and switch it to the dryer. Folding depended on the size of the item. My goal became to have everyone do their own laundry. I'd handle the household laundry (towels, sheets etc.) and the adult clothing--for the most part. This seemed like a great idea until it dawned on me that the kids have so much school work at their ages, there is not time for them to sufficiently do all their laundry. And thus, an EPIPHANY occurred in my life with the laundry; and what had been going great came to a screeching halt.
While this summer I did NO laundry, but enjoyed equipping my future adult offspring in that important area of home management, here in November, just a few short months hence, it is clear that there must be a change. My kids' full-time job is learning and studying--so again it is my time to do all the laundry, save a little help from them here and there on weekends. Emphasis on 'little'. It is such an interesting paradigm shift to realize that while my kids are able to manage household laundry, they simply can't do that AND give all the time they must give to their ever-increasing academic pursuits, and these are the years where they should have unhindered focus and energy for that. When they are moms my girls will have to manage it 'all' but that is not their job now.
It is funny how things change for a mom through the years. When my kids were young, playing was their work, as well as learning the basic tasks of contributing to keeping the home orderly, keeping a daily schedule of personal cleanliness, and obeying me the first time with a good attitude. Those are tough years but the task at hand is simple and clearly defined. Any parent knows things aren't as simple as children age with emotions and spiritual development. It is interesting that in some ways, their practical needs go back again to what they were when young--more sleep, really needing healthy meals on time, help in keeping things clean around them (ie their clothes), reminders to do important daily tasks (some kids, not all, but teens can start to get forgetful and spacey---they have a lot to keep track of). I'm seeing that the work of the early years really pays off later on in areas of how I want the days to run, manners, personal responsibility and obedience. It's not that the kids don't need reminders from time to time on expectations, but basically, they know the drill and at this point, everyone works better when everyone is doing what they ought to do.
It's easier for me to resume everyone's laundry this year than previous years because my house is finally in order. My brain is not pulled in a bunch of directions answering tons of questions each day (this is why I love a schedule!) --my physical tasks are to create a good working environment for everyone in this house and teach the areas I'm directly responsible for. I've realized through the laundry situation that while I'm not directly having them do as much physical work as they can or have done, they are still going to see how to manage a household, just a different angle of it. Now rather than the 'how to', for the girls it will be what they'll need to do when they are at this stage in life (if they follow in my footsteps). My son is currently still in the 'plenty of chores, plenty of schoolwork stage of life!"
Stranger to home school Mom: "So, what do you do for a living?"
HS Mom: "Well I focus daily on the spiritual well-being of my children, striving to have a well organized home for them to thrive in, I prepare meals and do the majority of the dishes, I make sure I'm studying the Word so I'm a good example to the kids since we all know they end up like we parents, and for most of the actual day between 8 and 4 I actively teach them things like math, spelling, reading, writing, penmanship...on weekends we shop for clothes in a thrifty fashion, I sell what I can to bring in money...I exercise and stretch because you know getting old and sitting all day does a number on the lower back...I encourage my husband and try to have fun with him inexpensively and consistently...I organize get togethers for my kids because social time doesn't happen unless we are purposeful...I try to have some one on one time with my kids daily, we have pets and while the kids do take care of them, I've got to help them remember or step in when they don't have time...I keep myself clean on top of all of this..."
Don't ever think you aren't doing anything important as a home educating mother--whether you do it all yourself, have your kids taking mostly classes in a co-op, mostly classes online or something else. Home schooling doesn't mean you directly teach everything, it means you've taken the responsibility to ensure your kids get the best education they can with a good deal of the work taking place in the home, typically. We each have to find the balance of how to teach our kids all the things we think matter within that framework, and we each have different standards and expectations. The key is doing it how your husband wants you to do it, and in that, you will THRIVE and have fun along the way.
The washer is done...
Earnestly seeking wisdom with my time and energy,
~J Dub, aka Laundry Woman (fyi: I don't like the smell of dirty clothes in piles, so my goal is to have very little dirty at any one-time now that I'm back in the saddle!)
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