Kids and Respect

This won't be exhaustive, but I wanted to share about raising kids to be respectful and some areas that it matters. I've noticed that young adults who were allowed to second-guess or sass their parents are rather difficult beings to interact with. They don't have a natural respect for those who are older, they have more of a 'if you earn it, I'll respect you' attitude. This kind of negative thinking is easy to form in children, especially if they are only raised by a mother. Women don't notice disrespect as quickly as men do, in general. Subtle tones, ways of questioning...these nuances can be lost on the gentler sex, particularly if she is preoccupied. Men see problems in young men fast, they understand them and too often we ladies want to be more gentle or talk things out more...boys respond well to action that reveals they have been caught in their sinful attitudes. When young children are permitted to question their parents in a disrespectful way, or comment disrespectfully on things their parents do, it lays a foundation for attitude problems later. I think daughters are more apt to this sort of disrespect..."Mom you really spent a LOT at the store!" or just second-guessing what Mom does or how she runs the house. If this type of behavior is allowed to fester, look out later on.

When I was growing up, the relationship between kids and adults was so different. No one was chums with their parents or their friend's parents. We respected them and they acted like adults, not kids. It was the same between kids and their aunts and uncles. I recall my Aunt correcting me just like she would her own child, and that sort of thing was welcomed. In today's world, it's more likely when a kids gets in trouble, the parent is siding with the child and not the adult (think: teachers, relatives, neighbors). It is a sad state of affairs that in today's "NOTICE ME!" world, adults are so insecure that friendship and approval are sought from kids rather than being bold and taking a stand on "I am not concerned if you like me, but I'll hold the line." I think a lot of us can read that and think, "No way, I'm not worried about my kids liking me." but if we really think about all that we reveal to them as far as who we are, we might find that isn't entirely true.

Did you know your parents, I mean, really know them? Did they share all manner of opinions and such with you, their child? I think in general there is a much more immature parenting community among us, myself included, when compared to how our parents were. We can protect our kids from mature content in books or movies, but are we displaying and sharing 'adult themes' in our conversation that undo that? I don't mean x-rated, I mean the thought patterns that an adult evaluates situations with.

It can be hard to find the balance between trying to raise adults and allowing the innocence of childhood, and I'm not able to give a formula. I just think it's worth thinking about if you have young kids at home: how is what I say impacting them? Kids are so sensitive to our opinions and they feel much more secure if we seem to love and like everyone they interact with.