Expectations of Others

This post is an encouragement to have realistic expectations of others. Sometimes we need to lower our expectations and find contentment in that new place. 

The following statement may seem obvious, but too often we think we need to be, or deserve to have, something more, but we are not a part of everyone's top priorities. 

Can we handle that as adult people? 

Not everyone is going to want a close relationship with us. Is that ok? Sometimes we wrongly expect others to put us at a higher priority ranking than we've put them. Or sometimes we mistakenly expect more from someone than they've ever really demonstrated toward us. We can do all sorts of things to demonstrate interest in being closer with someone, but at some point we may need to take inventory and ask ourselves if the recipient has made it clear they aren't interested, kindly of course. We're not talking about being ugly here. In this situation, who there has the problem? Perhaps some self examination is in order on why we want a closer relationship with someone. People change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. If we aren't growing in the same direction as an old friend, it should be expected that the same closeness won't remain--and often, it should not. If someone else has stayed as they always were but we haven't, sure, we can be the cause of the change. Can we be ok with that? The important thing is to love others and strive to be who God has called us to be in Christ.

The truth has been and remains that actions speak louder than words. 

Take a minute to digest that. Take a look at your life and relationships with people you care about. Be observant in your recollections and be a realist. Are you regularly guilty of expecting more than others give? Are you expecting more back than you've given? If you continually live disappointed at the failure of others to meet your expectations, could the problem be your expectations rather than what the 'others' do? It is wrong to put oneself on a pedestal as someone who has done 'so much' that we are 'owed', and it is wrong to expect others to meet all our needs. We should serve others and love them and leave it to God to meet our needs. He will use people to do that, but we don't get to dictate which people. 

Sometimes we can focus on past events more than present days when we take inventory, but we don't reach a point in life where we can start doing what we want to do irrespective of others. That is selfish, that is the thinking that leads to damaged relationships. As Christians, we are to always put others' interests before our own and we should strive to embody Romans 12:18, If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 

As the majority of states start to open up (as they should have long ago), let's mend fences, embrace our loved ones and be forgiving, taking time to acknowledge it has been a hard year on many people in different ways. It is possible our response to COVID closed off doors of communication as we judged others and failed to consider other points of view. Perhaps this is going to be the best opportunity we've recently had to really love and appreciate those we care about, taking fresh accounts of who those people are.