Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Have you ever wanted to be friends with someone, and they seem to genuinely like you, but they never seem to make seeing you a priority?

Here are some examples:

-You invite them to a party and they go do something else, forgetting they said they'd come.
-You plan a visit with the family and they send a key person to someone else's house for that day and have to reschedule.
-Perhaps it is a play date with one of your kids and they always cancel or reschedule.
-You find yourself initiating the vast majority of get-togethers

It is good to try to give the benefit of doubt assuming they are busy, or trying to understand if they struggle in general with planning. However, sometimes it is discovered the other party somehow manages to coordinate with other people, and that can cause us to really give pause.

You may have assumed someone was doing things with other people, but then find out they were going through a difficult time and were actually just home working through some problems.

I've dealt with both scenarios during the last 10 years, and is strange to me since I don't treat others like this.

What do you do in these situations?

I can tell you that when this happens, it might be you are simply wasting your time on the wrong people or relationships. It might be the people just don't feel a connection with you, or they like your kids but not you particularly. They may be driven by helping others so put aside people who they perceive as not needing their help. Whatever it is, after years of this treatment, we've all got to assess the situation and decide what we can live with.

Several times I've thought I'd just write off someone because of this. But then I just try again when it involves friendships for my children.

What I've been seeing is that God is providing without the people who are unreliable or who I've been unsuccessful connecting with.

Don't get upset when people can't be counted on, just pray for God to provide for your needs and the needs of your children.

The other day someone gave me back materials they said they wanted to borrow. I could have been disappointed that they never used them and were just coming in to a time of being able to use the stuff, but instead I happily took them back. You know what happened? Literally the next day or so I received a text from someone asking if I had a book by the author of the program I'd just been given back. Not only did I have the book, but the an entire series to help them. What a joy to help someone who genuinely wanted it!

I hope you will find encouragement in God's provision. There are always friends to be had.