Train Up A Child in the Way He Should Go

I've been thinking about Proverbs 22:6 this morning...training up my children in the way they should go, even when they are old, they will not depart from it.

We come up with varying ways of what we think God intended in those verses. I understand it as meaning my training needs to be a long-term, purposeful event that focuses on what is best and  right for my children, and that method of rearing will have the best chance of keeping them on the straight path later in life. Primarily, this is a spiritual issue of training them in the ways of the Lord as we go through the day in and day out of life.

But, when thinking of other parenting issues, I think this principle applies. What we do impacts our kids' choices.

Too often as parents I think we train our children up in the way that justifies our weaknesses, because we feel validated when someone else 'struggles' just like we do.

The only problem is, we 'trained' in the way that led to the weakness. It can make us feel better that someone is like us, and rather than help them overcome the struggles we've always had, we just make the way so that they don't actually overcome the problem areas either.

Sometimes I think as parents, we are quick to criticize the way others are parenting because our focus is on ourselves and our own insecurity, so we do a bunch of mental gymnastics to justify our actions. For example,  a parent in a certain echelon of society refuses to encourage something different in their child (even if they may be better suited for it) because it will make them look bad. The doctor forces his son to be a white-collar professional even though he's clearly gifted more mechanically and wants to work on cars and run his own shop....the plumber shuns his son getting his PhD to become a lawyer because he can't deal with how that makes him feel personally about his own life choices. Neither option is good or bad here, but it is obvious the focus is not on the child, it's on the parent.

I think the hard work of parenting is becoming what our children need to see, since what we model is who they mimic in many ways. We need to remember that our life is on the closing end, while their lives are just beginning.

What is going to set them up the best for success in their own life?

Are we stepping back and empirically evaluating good life skills and seeking to send our children off with them?

Are we denying ourselves for the betterment of our kids or are we still trying to work through our own problems through our children?

What are we here for as parents?

Food for thought, particularly as those of us homeschooling dig in to get through these winter months that encourage snoozing rather than starting the day with purpose!

~Ann