You know how you can be around someone and almost immediately, you can tell the comfort level is one of those that is unique? It isn't stressful to be around them and the conversation flows readily...
In the past I would be very excited about such times to where I'd think that a super close friendship was possibly on the horizon. This was when I craved close relationships and sought them out--prayed for them even.
But now I see it as a sweet opportunity from the Lord to just enjoy such company, and hopefully be a blessing. A part of me is changed forever when it comes to relationships since my friend committed suicide. It isn't merely that she took her own life, it is something that started in my life before I even knew her. It's a topic I recently read about in When People Are Big and God is Small regarding how we aren't created with the need for people in a psychological way, but rather we have physical and spiritual needs that should be what drives our actions. God meets our needs as we focus upward and outward, but the more we feed our personal 'needs', the more we focus inward. Focusing inward is not a focus on the Lord.
There are days and times where a person touches something in our hearts, or where through interactions with them God harkens a part of our hearts that has a little wound. This week as we come to my friend's birthday, I find myself thinking about her. I'm not missing her in the same way I have been, but rather am just thinking about her and the loss we've all dealt with. Sometimes it is too much to ponder why she did what she did, and it can be hard to keep thinking 'if she just hadn't...'.
So this is a thank you to the young bride I was blessed to share breakfast with at my house. She'll never see this post, but she was used to bless me today and awaken fond memories of God's faithfulness through our talking.
No comments:
Post a Comment