Seasons of Change

I was talking to an old homeschooling friend who I go to church with today, and it occurred to me how much my life has changed in regard to homeschooling over the last 4 or 5 years. When my oldest was still in elementary school you could barely have a discussion with me that didn't end up at home education in one way or the other. For years there were many people I talked to about starting the process, and many joined a group I was a part of and taught in. In short, I loved to school my kids, was passionate about it, and more than eager to help others get on the same track.

Here we are now with just 2 years left of my oldest's education at home, and a lot has changed. No longer do I feel competent to teach everything. The days of me scheduling everyone on an excel spreadsheet are not gone, but they are different. I now schedule all of their online classes and I make sure people have computers when they need them. I sign them up for classes and work a bit to help pay for them, and I'm back to teaching literature--though this time it isn't volunteer.

It took a few years for me to accept the reality that for us, homeschooling wasn't going to mean A Beka book around a table up through high school. I felt I was failing as I realized I couldn't give my kids the education my husband and I felt was right. He kept assuring me that success didn't mean I taught it all, and that moving to a facilitator role was just as important, only different.

Once I accepted that, things got a lot easier and I felt freed up to do other things with the time now open. Instead of the kids doing a lot of chores during the school year, those are back on mom. I manage the house and cooking so they can be free to study, and they sure study hard during school months. I don't really feel like a homeschooler, nor am I an avid advocate of mom teaching it 'all' as I once was. I honestly don't think one woman can teach multiple grades effectively most of the time. There is a good place for co-ops and online classes. We're blessed to be able to do live online classes. If we couldn't, I'd gladly get some DVD's for learning.

Do I feel like a failure now that I'm only teaching 2 classes in my home next year and one outside my home (to kids who aren't mine)? Nope. I feel grateful my kids are entering 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and are doing really well. I've realized my limitations with teaching, and my own drive, and am OK with that. Young children were a lot easier for me to teach and I had a personal conviction to be the one teaching them everything but Latin. It has been a blessing to entrust others, who fully understand the subject matter, with instructing my kids. As I've just completed each one's excel spreadsheet and finalized the master sheet for this year, I'm looking forward to the different needs of my older children. I'm grateful I don't have to try to cook, clean, teach them everything, and be the counselor, overseer, advisor...I can be mom a lot more during these years when they need that.

Do I miss those early years wrought with hands-on teaching? Hours of sitting around the table, doing projects together, taking field trips, learning to read and teach reading? No, but I sure cherish those memories.