Saturday
I feel like I'm going to be swallowed up with pain sometimes, like when I look at Terri's picture. How is she gone? I've re-read notes from her and it just makes me miss her more and want her back. I have to keep reminding myself she is with the Lord, she loved me, she isn't feeling like I wasn't a good enough friend or that I somehow let her down. She was so selfless and always eager to get together. She became like a sister to me in several ways, and I just can't believe she is gone.
February
For some reason, God has worked it so I lose those closest to me in February. Though it isn't limited to those closest; there are other deaths as well.
It is one thing to get to where you lose your parents. We crossed that bridge of misery 20 yrs ago when I was 22. A week later, that parent's mother also died, my grandmother. It was a hard year.
I won't list them all, but it has now come to where I've not only said goodbye to the generation of parents, grandparents, and a baby cousin, but now my closest friend in the area where I live. This is a different and terrible grief. A void is yet again present, and I guess yet again God is keeping me from getting too close to other women.
Sure, I have some wonderful and good friends here still, but the one who was doing some things with the same views as me is gone. We tried to live in the world but not be of it. No, we didn't do everything the same nor did I agree with all she did; that was sometimes a point of discussion...how to let go of our oldest slowly. It was getting harder for her; I was concerned at times.
But now there is no woman for me to talk to about what the boundaries are, decent movies for the kids, helping them grow in Christ...the practical side of parenting and the decisions we were starting to make. We saw a lot of these things the same, and that gets harder the older a body gets.
I know better days are ahead. I'm thankful my friend's suffering is over, but I miss her and that anguish feels overtaking at times. I can't believe she is gone. All the good times. All the times of having her over for tea or lunch. All the times of my oldest spending time with her family playing games, eating lunch or dinner, going out to dinner...talking of my oldest vacationing with them at some point, talking of college, retiring...planning...enduring the heartache of the kids growing up.
We were so close in recent years because she and I both gave to the relationship. I didn't do more giving and neither did she; it was balanced, and I've found that hard to come by.
Our girls are best friends, and there is a special tie with that.
And she is gone forever, suddenly, and we're all still here.
How do I say goodbye when she is already gone? I don't want to.
It is one thing to get to where you lose your parents. We crossed that bridge of misery 20 yrs ago when I was 22. A week later, that parent's mother also died, my grandmother. It was a hard year.
I won't list them all, but it has now come to where I've not only said goodbye to the generation of parents, grandparents, and a baby cousin, but now my closest friend in the area where I live. This is a different and terrible grief. A void is yet again present, and I guess yet again God is keeping me from getting too close to other women.
Sure, I have some wonderful and good friends here still, but the one who was doing some things with the same views as me is gone. We tried to live in the world but not be of it. No, we didn't do everything the same nor did I agree with all she did; that was sometimes a point of discussion...how to let go of our oldest slowly. It was getting harder for her; I was concerned at times.
But now there is no woman for me to talk to about what the boundaries are, decent movies for the kids, helping them grow in Christ...the practical side of parenting and the decisions we were starting to make. We saw a lot of these things the same, and that gets harder the older a body gets.
I know better days are ahead. I'm thankful my friend's suffering is over, but I miss her and that anguish feels overtaking at times. I can't believe she is gone. All the good times. All the times of having her over for tea or lunch. All the times of my oldest spending time with her family playing games, eating lunch or dinner, going out to dinner...talking of my oldest vacationing with them at some point, talking of college, retiring...planning...enduring the heartache of the kids growing up.
We were so close in recent years because she and I both gave to the relationship. I didn't do more giving and neither did she; it was balanced, and I've found that hard to come by.
Our girls are best friends, and there is a special tie with that.
And she is gone forever, suddenly, and we're all still here.
How do I say goodbye when she is already gone? I don't want to.
How Do You Sleep When the Pain is Hard
I'm not sure how to sleep on a night like this. You were just here, and now your gone. I didn't get to say goodbye. Or tell you once more how much you mean to me. But I know you knew. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and remember this day. I want it to be better, and it is just starting. How do I say goodbye when you've already gone?
First posted 2/24/17, two days after my dear friend left this life and entered into eternity.
First posted 2/24/17, two days after my dear friend left this life and entered into eternity.
Alternative Medicine
In this era, it is important to have a well-defined view of alternative medicine. We have employed traditional Western medicine here as well as various other forms, always trying to be careful about any spiritual ramifications.
I'm a proponent of parental rights--the right of parents to make decisions they feel are best for their children. When it comes to medical decisions, I especially think this is the right of parents. That said, what about when parents veer from traditional Western medicine? What about when they do that and the child is not thriving?
This is gray area that requires careful evaluation, particularly if a child is not thriving.
For this reason, I'll share my thoughts on alternative medicine.
First and foremost, the internet is a very poor and often hazardous substitution for medical training. Through my life I've seen more and more where the internet gives just part of the story. People who are well-meaning share one side of a dangerous drug, failing to understand that in specific settings, that same drug heals and leads to curing. I believe, and teach my children, that the internet is no substitute for solid medical training. It is a twisted pride that I feel is at the heart of those who think they outright know better than trained medical doctors. When a person leaves traditional medicine all together, they will not see the inconsistencies with the various alternative or natural treatments.
My belief is that the first course of action for responsible medical decisions is to look to traditional medicine. There are tests that can be done which natural practitioners don't employ. If there are ideas you have as a parent that may compliment the treatment, by all means, talk to your doctor. Do I think all doctors are equal and will listen? No, but I try to find those who are trained in various fields or who have supplemented their official professional license in ways I want, whether through a short-term time training in the East or perhaps they specialized in a sub-field that matters to me. Bottom line, have your child evaluated by the best doctors you can find and afford.
If traditional medicine fails to bring healing, I say explore other options that don't conflict with your religious convictions. This limits what I'll do and who I will trust. If an alternative medical doctor practices what I believe is Satanic at the core, I'm not going there, regardless of the reputation of healing. As with who I will get advice from on other issues; look at who you are getting medical advice from carefully and who is recommending them.
When alternative medical paths are taken, I think it is critical to realize the great responsibility one is taking on. It is akin to becoming a vegetarian, which plenty do, wrongly, and end up worse off. It is more than a matter of not eating meat. It requires a dedication to understanding proteins, fats, and other nutrients that one won't get simply by eating anything other than meat.
Eating a healthy, balanced diet is critical for more natural approaches to work since they rely on the body's own defenses to bring about healing much of the time. If you are undisciplined to ensure this, it is not responsible to go this route as a sole manner of treatment.
Be disciplined to get proper sleep during the ideal hours of the day. Do the research in places other than the internet to study this, and make it happen. Sleep matters, particularly at the right times and in differing amounts based on age.
Get the proper amount of exercise and ensure your kids do also. Again, this is easier said than done, but if your medical treatment plan is working off your bodies own defenses, a strong platform is critical.
Finally, oftentimes it is overlooked just how important a stable, consistent, home environment is to the well-being of those inside the home. Parental strife, staying up until late in the night, uncleanliness, and general chaos, do more harm to children than many take time to recognize, though the traditional doctors I have known recognize this.
Taking on a medical treatment route that thrives on optimal parameters seems illogical to me if the aforementioned criteria aren't met. In other words, if your life is a wreck, don't go the natural medicine route. It probably won't be able to overcome the inertia of your life and the stress therein.
Ideally, the fruit of the medical method chosen will be apparent. Of course we all know situations where no matter how good the treatment, healing is not going to come, and if it is going to come, it isn't going to be fast. But just like those who don't have Celiac disease and want to insist on a gluten free diet being healthier for them, don't lump yourself into the category of a person struggling to achieve good health who has tried it all and can't get there. Choosing alternative medicine is not the same as being driven to it.
If you take nothing other than end results and thriving, does what you are doing pass the test? I don't mean quick results, but lasting results, and healthy minds and bodies.
Sadly, more often than not, I think mothers are influenced by the internet and faulty logic and thus make reckless decisions based on half-truths while not optimizing their families health overall, yet they plunge headlong into alternative medicine. Their children become Guinea pigs for their so-called convictions, and often suffer long term effects of their latest hobbies. Becoming a skilled natural practitioner requires a lot more than an internet research practice which ofttimes leads to wrongly connecting dots, but those wrong connections will spout conclusions as fact and be blogged about for decades.
Complementary medicine is great, and there are terrific professional facilities with it, but there are quacks out there who can make all manner of nonsense seem sensible. They've been around for hundreds of years, and so have people deceived by them, Christian or not.
This is my opinion of traditional medicine and how to use alternative medicine responsibly. As a person who believes in parental rights, it should not be a surprise that I can support a parent who has chosen different medical decisions than I have. This is particularly true if the parent has experience with the treatments they are employing and their success, and where traditional doctors have been involved.
I think what I am doing is right and best, and I believe there is proof in the health of my family. Hopefully you can say the same. Regardless, it is for parents to decide what is best for their family, not me or the government.
I'm a proponent of parental rights--the right of parents to make decisions they feel are best for their children. When it comes to medical decisions, I especially think this is the right of parents. That said, what about when parents veer from traditional Western medicine? What about when they do that and the child is not thriving?
This is gray area that requires careful evaluation, particularly if a child is not thriving.
For this reason, I'll share my thoughts on alternative medicine.
First and foremost, the internet is a very poor and often hazardous substitution for medical training. Through my life I've seen more and more where the internet gives just part of the story. People who are well-meaning share one side of a dangerous drug, failing to understand that in specific settings, that same drug heals and leads to curing. I believe, and teach my children, that the internet is no substitute for solid medical training. It is a twisted pride that I feel is at the heart of those who think they outright know better than trained medical doctors. When a person leaves traditional medicine all together, they will not see the inconsistencies with the various alternative or natural treatments.
My belief is that the first course of action for responsible medical decisions is to look to traditional medicine. There are tests that can be done which natural practitioners don't employ. If there are ideas you have as a parent that may compliment the treatment, by all means, talk to your doctor. Do I think all doctors are equal and will listen? No, but I try to find those who are trained in various fields or who have supplemented their official professional license in ways I want, whether through a short-term time training in the East or perhaps they specialized in a sub-field that matters to me. Bottom line, have your child evaluated by the best doctors you can find and afford.
If traditional medicine fails to bring healing, I say explore other options that don't conflict with your religious convictions. This limits what I'll do and who I will trust. If an alternative medical doctor practices what I believe is Satanic at the core, I'm not going there, regardless of the reputation of healing. As with who I will get advice from on other issues; look at who you are getting medical advice from carefully and who is recommending them.
When alternative medical paths are taken, I think it is critical to realize the great responsibility one is taking on. It is akin to becoming a vegetarian, which plenty do, wrongly, and end up worse off. It is more than a matter of not eating meat. It requires a dedication to understanding proteins, fats, and other nutrients that one won't get simply by eating anything other than meat.
Eating a healthy, balanced diet is critical for more natural approaches to work since they rely on the body's own defenses to bring about healing much of the time. If you are undisciplined to ensure this, it is not responsible to go this route as a sole manner of treatment.
Be disciplined to get proper sleep during the ideal hours of the day. Do the research in places other than the internet to study this, and make it happen. Sleep matters, particularly at the right times and in differing amounts based on age.
Get the proper amount of exercise and ensure your kids do also. Again, this is easier said than done, but if your medical treatment plan is working off your bodies own defenses, a strong platform is critical.
Finally, oftentimes it is overlooked just how important a stable, consistent, home environment is to the well-being of those inside the home. Parental strife, staying up until late in the night, uncleanliness, and general chaos, do more harm to children than many take time to recognize, though the traditional doctors I have known recognize this.
Taking on a medical treatment route that thrives on optimal parameters seems illogical to me if the aforementioned criteria aren't met. In other words, if your life is a wreck, don't go the natural medicine route. It probably won't be able to overcome the inertia of your life and the stress therein.
Ideally, the fruit of the medical method chosen will be apparent. Of course we all know situations where no matter how good the treatment, healing is not going to come, and if it is going to come, it isn't going to be fast. But just like those who don't have Celiac disease and want to insist on a gluten free diet being healthier for them, don't lump yourself into the category of a person struggling to achieve good health who has tried it all and can't get there. Choosing alternative medicine is not the same as being driven to it.
If you take nothing other than end results and thriving, does what you are doing pass the test? I don't mean quick results, but lasting results, and healthy minds and bodies.
Sadly, more often than not, I think mothers are influenced by the internet and faulty logic and thus make reckless decisions based on half-truths while not optimizing their families health overall, yet they plunge headlong into alternative medicine. Their children become Guinea pigs for their so-called convictions, and often suffer long term effects of their latest hobbies. Becoming a skilled natural practitioner requires a lot more than an internet research practice which ofttimes leads to wrongly connecting dots, but those wrong connections will spout conclusions as fact and be blogged about for decades.
Complementary medicine is great, and there are terrific professional facilities with it, but there are quacks out there who can make all manner of nonsense seem sensible. They've been around for hundreds of years, and so have people deceived by them, Christian or not.
This is my opinion of traditional medicine and how to use alternative medicine responsibly. As a person who believes in parental rights, it should not be a surprise that I can support a parent who has chosen different medical decisions than I have. This is particularly true if the parent has experience with the treatments they are employing and their success, and where traditional doctors have been involved.
I think what I am doing is right and best, and I believe there is proof in the health of my family. Hopefully you can say the same. Regardless, it is for parents to decide what is best for their family, not me or the government.
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