You know how you can be around someone and almost immediately, you can tell the comfort level is one of those that is unique? It isn't stressful to be around them and the conversation flows readily...
In the past I would be very excited about such times to where I'd think that a super close friendship was possibly on the horizon. This was when I craved close relationships and sought them out--prayed for them even.
But now I see it as a sweet opportunity from the Lord to just enjoy such company, and hopefully be a blessing. A part of me is changed forever when it comes to relationships since my friend committed suicide. It isn't merely that she took her own life, it is something that started in my life before I even knew her. It's a topic I recently read about in When People Are Big and God is Small regarding how we aren't created with the need for people in a psychological way, but rather we have physical and spiritual needs that should be what drives our actions. God meets our needs as we focus upward and outward, but the more we feed our personal 'needs', the more we focus inward. Focusing inward is not a focus on the Lord.
There are days and times where a person touches something in our hearts, or where through interactions with them God harkens a part of our hearts that has a little wound. This week as we come to my friend's birthday, I find myself thinking about her. I'm not missing her in the same way I have been, but rather am just thinking about her and the loss we've all dealt with. Sometimes it is too much to ponder why she did what she did, and it can be hard to keep thinking 'if she just hadn't...'.
So this is a thank you to the young bride I was blessed to share breakfast with at my house. She'll never see this post, but she was used to bless me today and awaken fond memories of God's faithfulness through our talking.
Seasons of Change
I was talking to an old homeschooling friend who I go to church with today, and it occurred to me how much my life has changed in regard to homeschooling over the last 4 or 5 years. When my oldest was still in elementary school you could barely have a discussion with me that didn't end up at home education in one way or the other. For years there were many people I talked to about starting the process, and many joined a group I was a part of and taught in. In short, I loved to school my kids, was passionate about it, and more than eager to help others get on the same track.
Here we are now with just 2 years left of my oldest's education at home, and a lot has changed. No longer do I feel competent to teach everything. The days of me scheduling everyone on an excel spreadsheet are not gone, but they are different. I now schedule all of their online classes and I make sure people have computers when they need them. I sign them up for classes and work a bit to help pay for them, and I'm back to teaching literature--though this time it isn't volunteer.
It took a few years for me to accept the reality that for us, homeschooling wasn't going to mean A Beka book around a table up through high school. I felt I was failing as I realized I couldn't give my kids the education my husband and I felt was right. He kept assuring me that success didn't mean I taught it all, and that moving to a facilitator role was just as important, only different.
Once I accepted that, things got a lot easier and I felt freed up to do other things with the time now open. Instead of the kids doing a lot of chores during the school year, those are back on mom. I manage the house and cooking so they can be free to study, and they sure study hard during school months. I don't really feel like a homeschooler, nor am I an avid advocate of mom teaching it 'all' as I once was. I honestly don't think one woman can teach multiple grades effectively most of the time. There is a good place for co-ops and online classes. We're blessed to be able to do live online classes. If we couldn't, I'd gladly get some DVD's for learning.
Do I feel like a failure now that I'm only teaching 2 classes in my home next year and one outside my home (to kids who aren't mine)? Nope. I feel grateful my kids are entering 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and are doing really well. I've realized my limitations with teaching, and my own drive, and am OK with that. Young children were a lot easier for me to teach and I had a personal conviction to be the one teaching them everything but Latin. It has been a blessing to entrust others, who fully understand the subject matter, with instructing my kids. As I've just completed each one's excel spreadsheet and finalized the master sheet for this year, I'm looking forward to the different needs of my older children. I'm grateful I don't have to try to cook, clean, teach them everything, and be the counselor, overseer, advisor...I can be mom a lot more during these years when they need that.
Do I miss those early years wrought with hands-on teaching? Hours of sitting around the table, doing projects together, taking field trips, learning to read and teach reading? No, but I sure cherish those memories.
Here we are now with just 2 years left of my oldest's education at home, and a lot has changed. No longer do I feel competent to teach everything. The days of me scheduling everyone on an excel spreadsheet are not gone, but they are different. I now schedule all of their online classes and I make sure people have computers when they need them. I sign them up for classes and work a bit to help pay for them, and I'm back to teaching literature--though this time it isn't volunteer.
It took a few years for me to accept the reality that for us, homeschooling wasn't going to mean A Beka book around a table up through high school. I felt I was failing as I realized I couldn't give my kids the education my husband and I felt was right. He kept assuring me that success didn't mean I taught it all, and that moving to a facilitator role was just as important, only different.
Once I accepted that, things got a lot easier and I felt freed up to do other things with the time now open. Instead of the kids doing a lot of chores during the school year, those are back on mom. I manage the house and cooking so they can be free to study, and they sure study hard during school months. I don't really feel like a homeschooler, nor am I an avid advocate of mom teaching it 'all' as I once was. I honestly don't think one woman can teach multiple grades effectively most of the time. There is a good place for co-ops and online classes. We're blessed to be able to do live online classes. If we couldn't, I'd gladly get some DVD's for learning.
Do I feel like a failure now that I'm only teaching 2 classes in my home next year and one outside my home (to kids who aren't mine)? Nope. I feel grateful my kids are entering 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and are doing really well. I've realized my limitations with teaching, and my own drive, and am OK with that. Young children were a lot easier for me to teach and I had a personal conviction to be the one teaching them everything but Latin. It has been a blessing to entrust others, who fully understand the subject matter, with instructing my kids. As I've just completed each one's excel spreadsheet and finalized the master sheet for this year, I'm looking forward to the different needs of my older children. I'm grateful I don't have to try to cook, clean, teach them everything, and be the counselor, overseer, advisor...I can be mom a lot more during these years when they need that.
Do I miss those early years wrought with hands-on teaching? Hours of sitting around the table, doing projects together, taking field trips, learning to read and teach reading? No, but I sure cherish those memories.
Frugal Living
Love this article.
http://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-doctors-earn-spend-2017-7
Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace goes along nicely with this on the "how to's" of changing your life.
http://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-doctors-earn-spend-2017-7
Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace goes along nicely with this on the "how to's" of changing your life.
Ease
Life is so much more emotional and stressful when having friends is seen as critical to a happy life. When the day to day focus is on nurturing relationships, it communicates something to your kids as well as continually feeding your own mind and heart--that you are needy in some capacity and other people are going to have to fill that need.
When People Are Big and God is Small is a great book to address this problem. I realize some won't see this as a problem, but boy let me assure you as someone reformed from this way of thinking, it IS.
There is a healthy perspective on friends and how much time they take, and then there is a dependence that often leaves responsibilities left undone.
Just today I spoke to a woman who started crying because one of her children doesn't have any friends. I understand this being something to burden a parent. We all want our kids to have friends or at least one friend, but the truth is, this is not a problem. God fills needs and if we are living for Him, we have to trust Him with the details. So often He keeps friendships from budding for a reason. Often people hide from their true problems by filling their life with friends, or they can't really live their lives on their own, so they require other people to fill in gaps. I understand some people need help to live their lives due to being single, having a spouse that is gone from home often, or due to having a lot of kids. But ideally teens should rely on their family and not require friends to get through the days and the responsibilities they have. Independence is important, and often we don't learn to lean on God if we have friends to drown out the need we have which is meant for Him alone.
When our focus is on being holy and serving God, there is a massive shift in how we order our days and how we spend our time. No longer do we see ourselves as people who need others in order to be fulfilled, whether our need is that we get something or we have a need to give something. When our days are spent serving the King of Kings rather than socializing, it builds in to our kids and our own psyche a mentality that is never 'desperate' for friends.
Sadly our society, through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and pop culture feeds this narcissistic mentality that we must be around other people in order to be happy and whole. And not just around them, but interacting daily with them. Too many teens live this way and it is all about feeding their pleasures. They are only happy when they are being useless to society and hanging out with friends...playing music, playing games, dancing...
This may sound direct, but folks, it is the truth. The seeming epidemic of depression and anxiety with people in our society would be largely cured if parents stopped being so needy and spent their own time serving others and looking upward and outward. Instead parents complain about the work they have, they want life to be all about the fun, they find duty a drag and something to lament, and they don't require their kids to value work. So then it is all about how to build up their self-esteem and hundreds of dollars goes to that, when the problem is a fundamental core belief about life and living that has been instilled in them since birth.
This post started because it was about ease and friendship. Here is a truth I've found. Ease comes when you work and teach your children to work. It comes when friendship is a result of service and not a goal in and of itself. Ease comes when life is driven by duty and faithfulness, not pleasure-seeking. Through work, we find the peace and simplicity we long for. Ease doesn't come from avoiding work.
When People Are Big and God is Small is a great book to address this problem. I realize some won't see this as a problem, but boy let me assure you as someone reformed from this way of thinking, it IS.
There is a healthy perspective on friends and how much time they take, and then there is a dependence that often leaves responsibilities left undone.
Just today I spoke to a woman who started crying because one of her children doesn't have any friends. I understand this being something to burden a parent. We all want our kids to have friends or at least one friend, but the truth is, this is not a problem. God fills needs and if we are living for Him, we have to trust Him with the details. So often He keeps friendships from budding for a reason. Often people hide from their true problems by filling their life with friends, or they can't really live their lives on their own, so they require other people to fill in gaps. I understand some people need help to live their lives due to being single, having a spouse that is gone from home often, or due to having a lot of kids. But ideally teens should rely on their family and not require friends to get through the days and the responsibilities they have. Independence is important, and often we don't learn to lean on God if we have friends to drown out the need we have which is meant for Him alone.
When our focus is on being holy and serving God, there is a massive shift in how we order our days and how we spend our time. No longer do we see ourselves as people who need others in order to be fulfilled, whether our need is that we get something or we have a need to give something. When our days are spent serving the King of Kings rather than socializing, it builds in to our kids and our own psyche a mentality that is never 'desperate' for friends.
Sadly our society, through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and pop culture feeds this narcissistic mentality that we must be around other people in order to be happy and whole. And not just around them, but interacting daily with them. Too many teens live this way and it is all about feeding their pleasures. They are only happy when they are being useless to society and hanging out with friends...playing music, playing games, dancing...
This may sound direct, but folks, it is the truth. The seeming epidemic of depression and anxiety with people in our society would be largely cured if parents stopped being so needy and spent their own time serving others and looking upward and outward. Instead parents complain about the work they have, they want life to be all about the fun, they find duty a drag and something to lament, and they don't require their kids to value work. So then it is all about how to build up their self-esteem and hundreds of dollars goes to that, when the problem is a fundamental core belief about life and living that has been instilled in them since birth.
This post started because it was about ease and friendship. Here is a truth I've found. Ease comes when you work and teach your children to work. It comes when friendship is a result of service and not a goal in and of itself. Ease comes when life is driven by duty and faithfulness, not pleasure-seeking. Through work, we find the peace and simplicity we long for. Ease doesn't come from avoiding work.
What No One Dreams Of
No one plans to grow up to then end their life.
No one plans to become an alcoholic.
No one dreams of being a drug addict.
No one hopes for being abused, or abusing.
Few at the altar are planning the day they break their spouses heart and leave them.
But people do commit suicide.
People do take that first drink, risking a lifetime of regret.
People are fooled into thinking they can do a line once, or smoke some weed just occassionally.
People do get abused, and someone is abusing them.
When these things happen to us, around us, to those we love, around those we love, the question isn't 'why can't God fix it or stop it or make it not happen?'
The question should be, 'why didn't God fix it or stop it or make it not happen?', because He could have.
But then this wouldn't be a fallen world, and that was not His choice--for us to live in a fallen world. He created, blessed, and let man do what he would. Man sinned.
And God intervened, offering forgiveness and grace to those who would accept His provision of a perfect sacrifice to stand in our place as the payment for our sin. A system set up whereby a blood sacrifice is all that could wash away sin once and for all.
Oh, I know it sounds like a fairytale in some way and to some people. I wasn't born a follower of Jesus Christ; none of us are. But unless someone is living in utter denial, it is apparent we all sin, which means falling short of God's standard of perfect holiness. He didn't have to offer a way out of our sin. He doesn't have to allow any of us into Heaven, but the fact is, some of us will get to go. It isn't because of our goodness or brightness, but because we respond in faith to the calling of His Holy Spirit. Does His Spirit call everyone the same? I don't think so, and what does it really matter? If He is calling you, then you must respond.
What life brings our way isn't the issue. The issue is this, what are we going to do with the hand we're dealt? It was said well in Rocky 6 when Rocky is talking to his son outside his restaurant.
"The question isn't how hard you get hit, the question is how many times can you get hit and keep moving forward?" (apologies if I'm off here a bit)
We have to keep moving forward. We have to forgive. I was listening to a John MacArthur sermon tonight that stated the greatest thing we can do to be like God is to forgive others.
Amen.
What Secular Psychologists Won't Tell You
No one plans to become an alcoholic.
No one dreams of being a drug addict.
No one hopes for being abused, or abusing.
Few at the altar are planning the day they break their spouses heart and leave them.
But people do commit suicide.
People do take that first drink, risking a lifetime of regret.
People are fooled into thinking they can do a line once, or smoke some weed just occassionally.
People do get abused, and someone is abusing them.
When these things happen to us, around us, to those we love, around those we love, the question isn't 'why can't God fix it or stop it or make it not happen?'
The question should be, 'why didn't God fix it or stop it or make it not happen?', because He could have.
But then this wouldn't be a fallen world, and that was not His choice--for us to live in a fallen world. He created, blessed, and let man do what he would. Man sinned.
And God intervened, offering forgiveness and grace to those who would accept His provision of a perfect sacrifice to stand in our place as the payment for our sin. A system set up whereby a blood sacrifice is all that could wash away sin once and for all.
Oh, I know it sounds like a fairytale in some way and to some people. I wasn't born a follower of Jesus Christ; none of us are. But unless someone is living in utter denial, it is apparent we all sin, which means falling short of God's standard of perfect holiness. He didn't have to offer a way out of our sin. He doesn't have to allow any of us into Heaven, but the fact is, some of us will get to go. It isn't because of our goodness or brightness, but because we respond in faith to the calling of His Holy Spirit. Does His Spirit call everyone the same? I don't think so, and what does it really matter? If He is calling you, then you must respond.
What life brings our way isn't the issue. The issue is this, what are we going to do with the hand we're dealt? It was said well in Rocky 6 when Rocky is talking to his son outside his restaurant.
"The question isn't how hard you get hit, the question is how many times can you get hit and keep moving forward?" (apologies if I'm off here a bit)
We have to keep moving forward. We have to forgive. I was listening to a John MacArthur sermon tonight that stated the greatest thing we can do to be like God is to forgive others.
Amen.
What Secular Psychologists Won't Tell You
Ebates
I'm trying not to be sad that I joined Ebates in 2013 and am only now using it. My first check is on the way. It is nuts to not get paid to shop where I normally do online. Ebay and Vitacost have a sweet % back and I love both of those!
Here is my link if you want to join and give me credit!!
https://www.ebates.com/r/JJWOLL2?eeid=28187
Money back for things you'd buy anyway...so cool!
Here is my link if you want to join and give me credit!!
https://www.ebates.com/r/JJWOLL2?eeid=28187
Money back for things you'd buy anyway...so cool!
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