Children Under 2 Understand

Not long ago I wrote a post entitled "Expectations" which runs in a similar vein to this one, but just to expound a little more.

You know how parents will talk about their kids' faults openly, in front of them?

"He is out of control."

"She never stops talking."

"That's our wild child."

"Well, if anyone is going to have a fit, that one will."

"He's a terrible eater and his father doesn't help the situation AT ALL."

I could go on and on, and I'm sure you can think of a few negative comments you've heard thrown around by well-intentioned parents lamenting their 'difficult' child/ren. It is hard to raise children well. It takes intentional parenting. It takes keeping our negative thoughts about them to ourselves or to a time where a constructive discussion can take place. It takes realizing saying negative things about them in public is NOT parenting, nor is it a valid excuse for their ill behavior. No one has to have any special insight to realize kids don't magically modify their behavior because everyone hears how bad/mean/undisciplined/smart-mouthed they are.

Likewise, children don't modify their behavior when a parent turns a blind eye to their actions continually, or expects others to 'mind their children' for them. It doesn't matter the setting: home, school, church, the mall. The only people ultimately responsible for our children's behavior is us, and we're not fooling anyone if they are out of line. We may not waste oodles of time living a narcissistic life on Facebook, or Tweeting our every thought, or Pinning our way in to a stupor, but we can ignore our kids all the same. It may be in the name of SERVICE (gasp, to God, even) or the, "It's the only time I really get with other people" reason...it may be we're selfish and even while at home all day with them we don't keep them close so we see and hear how they act.  We may make ourselves too available to others (be it in real life or on the Internet) to the detriment of taking care of our kid's basic needs of a routine (children who don't sleep or eat regularly, and well, don't behave as well typically).

Lest I digress, here is a story of how well children hear and understand. Now, I am talking about a GENIUS of a little girl, but I seriously doubt she is the only one capable of this...

Said brilliant child is 14 months old. Her mom was telling a funny story about how little daughter goes to her for shoe putting-on. Mom explained how daughter puts her hand on her shoulder and then lifts her foot in the air, but for Dad, little daughter sits down and lifts up her foot. Most would think the playing wee one wasn't listening, didn't understand, didn't care...whatever.

But do you know what she did? As soon as her mom stopped talking, little one imitated her gestures by reaching in to the air as if she were holding on to her sitting mother's shoulder, then lifted her foot up in the air as if a shoe were being put on. THEN she spun around and sat down to lift her foot as though Papa were putting on the shoe.

This was a tired child who was not in her element, and I share it to be a reminder to the tired, young parents out there.

Your children are listening. They hear you. They will do what you expect and what you expect, you'll keep saying.

Take the time to put your kids on a schedule, put them to bed at the same time each night--bearing in mind the best sleep happens prior to midnight so a lot of sleep should be happening before then. Feed them healthy meals at the same time each day, watch their sugar and water intake, and by all means, please watch over them carefully. Neglect is inexcusable, regardless of where you are standing or what you are doing.

~Ann