Parents can get busy paying attention to things or people, other than their children, in social settings. This allows for serious gaps in their children's training. For one thing, young children learn to 'work the system' early on. They figure out if mom is too busy to make sure they eat enough at mealtime, and they stumble upon a snack while she is busy, she'll often say YES! So said child plays that card whenever they can. Children left in the care of other children are not as protected as children in the care of their own mother. I think of serious scenarios with this, but also things that help shape how our children eat (which lays quite a foundation for other things in life).
Distracted moms are happy to let others watch their children, forgetting that hours each week in the care of others isn't the optimal manner to effectively train. At the park the distracted mom is fine when her child runs off with other kids as long as they are having fun. At a party the same scenario can occur....when over people's houses. We must be vigilant and realize that even when we are always right there things are said and done that we wouldn't approve of. How much more when we let our kids run amuck week in and week out, out of our sight? No one protects, trains or cares for our own children like a mother. There should be very few settings where a mom feels like she is "off" and her child can be out of her sight.
An additional problem with being a distracted parent is directly related to training children in good eating habits. Just because a child isn't naturally a voracious eater, that does not mean they can't be trained to have better habits. Just like with education, all children have different strengths. Being weak in math doesn't mean you get to skip speed drills. If anything it means you get more. Same with being a poor eater. Clearly a child like that requires strict discipline from the parents to monitor the eating and developing of good habits. Drinks that contain sugar and sugary snacks are the opposite of creating good habits. Normal mealtime foods are not sweet, so children who are given sugar at young ages and are not natural big eaters are going to be less inclined toward those foods, aided by their parent helping them prefer sugary foods.
Children shouldn't be allowed to decide what they eat and when. Mealtimes matter: breakfast at the table, lunch at the table, dinner at the table. Snacks should be fruits, vegetables and healthy proteins like cheese cubes or beans-not carbohydrates or other sugar-based foods. This healthful snacking aids the child coming to meals ready to eat. Hunger is the best "sauce" it has been said. How often distracted moms allow their children to eat snacks at 3 or 4 pm, and then wonder why the child doesn't sit still and eat at dinner time. Hunger is not the enemy, it is the normal response to getting ready to eat again. When children snack throughout the day and fail to eat good meals, they are often incorrectly labeled as poor eaters, when they have in effect been trained to be poor eaters. If 3 meals a day are consumed, starting no later than 8 am with breakfast and lunch around noon, there can be a very small midmorning snack and milk to drink. Water the rest of the morning. If a healthy big lunch is eaten, perhaps a light snack around 2 pm, but no lemonade or chocolate milk or sugar-laden treats...something like an apple with a little protein but not a ton. You want the child hungry and ready to sit still at the dinner table (assuming dinner around 5 or 5:30 pm).
Young children need a tremendous amount of sleep. Getting to bed between 7 and 8 pm ensures they get all the sleep they require and can still start the day no later than 8 am, which develops good habits for life.
No comments:
Post a Comment