Commonality

I had a conversation quite some time ago with a younger person about dating relationships. I was asked advice on something and part of my response was that we all feel closer to people we have things in common with. It is just human nature. When we show an interest in what matters to someone we care about, we build that relationship up. Conversely, when we do not show an interest in something important to someone we are close to, we can invite distance. Overall, in relationships, we want to do things to cultivate closeness, and this takes effort. There are some nonnegotiables in life, and if these are a factor in a relationship and there is disharmony, it may be worth taking a serious look and deciding if a change of direction should happen.

An example of this is with serious political differences if both parties are active. If your intended spouse is an avid, perhaps elected Democrat, and you and your family are on the other side of the aisle and also active, this could cause tension. If it doesn't, closeness is less likely to be promoted. It isn't impossible to work through that, but relationships already take work, so knowingly taking on a tough area like that is worth some consideration. We all inherently feel closer to people who share our deepest held beliefs and ideals.

For this reason, relationships within organizations or groups we're a part of change, friendships come and go, and sadly, if not worked on and kept a priority, marriages end. Relationships that are worthwhile take time, and those that aren't sometimes need to be given less time.

Here's to 20 yrs with the best person I know~