"I'm a Christian"...

All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him. Is 53:6

Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, 2 Cor 3:5

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:1-5

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently I encountered a woman who, in an incredulous tone, wondered at how friends of mine can be thriving after the mom in the home committed suicide nearly a year ago. My answer was simple, but certainly not without depth, "God."

Why is it that people cannot believe that God is enough? Perhaps because He is not enough for them. Those who think they have a trusting relationship with Christ may be deceived in their salvation, and it can come out when these rubber-meet-the-road issues surface. 

Perhaps people don't believe God is enough because they do not actually believe in God. They are stuck on why anything bad happens in this world, thinking a good God would not allow any harm to come to people (even people who reject and mock Him). Since bad things happen, they reason there is not a God. 

Perhaps God is not enough for an actual Christian because they are misunderstanding His nature and the world He's placed us in. They think that because we have doctors for the body that we go to when we are sick, we should go first to doctors of the mind (psychiatrists, sociologists, psychologists) for our emotional/mental problems, not realizing our mind is a BATTLEFIELD and Satan knows this all too well. 

What Secular Psychologists Won't Tell You

Life is hard. Death is hard. Suicide is hard. When my closest friend (here in my state) took her own life last year, it caused me to take a hard look at how it could have happened. 

I'm reminded of 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18:

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These words of God are true. If we doubt them, we must take that thinking to its logical conclusion. A person gets cancer and dies...God isn't enough. There is no hope in that...and yet God tells us to hope in Him throughout scripture.

If death is always bad, then does it also follow it is never within  God's will? Is death only acceptable if no wrong was done by anyone along the way? Sometimes death is the best answer for someone, especially a tormented saint that isn't going to be healed this side of Heaven. Yes, Christians can struggle with real sin that leads them to suicide, and Christians can be as right with God as they are able to be and have a mental problem that leads them to suicide. God allows bad things to happen, to the saved and the unsaved. He uses fallible men, and it doesn't necessitate we take up the mantle of correcting that wrong to try to save mankind from a repeat. We have to till our own garden, and the last thing a child whose mom has committed suicide needs is a father consumed with trying to retaliate or get involved in some cause that takes his eyes off what God has clearly called him to.

Death is the consequence of sin, all sin, and just because someone is labeling them self a Christian doesn't mean they are one, quite sadly. If a person is a Christian, it doesn't mean they've done things God's way. And isn't doing things our own way a big part of the problem in this life? Isaiah 53:6 tells us we have all been like sheep going astray, turning to our own way. This is the human way.

Far more often than not, this is what I observe when it comes to depression and anxiety in the life of a Christian, or a "Christian". They start to have a problem, they pray about it and maybe even ask some friends to pray about it. And when it gets really rough, they go to a psychiatrist (man's answers to man's problems), psychologist (same definition only less dangerous because of the medication), or a counselor that may or may not consider them self a Christian. Far too often we do not do things God's way, yet when it all falls apart, the first one to be blamed is God. 

Christians will often hide their struggle as best they can from the one place they need to be transparent--their pastor and their church. But let us back up.

How many Christians struggling with depression are actively serving and worshiping in a Bible believing church? This is step one because a Christian out of fellowship is not where they need to be, and God will allow all manner of things in order to bring that loved one back. Sadly, all too often, serious counseling with one's pastor does not happen, or, the pastor isn't equipped to counsel and the person stops there rather than pressing on to find someone who can help them. Too often a Christian will ignore good counsel and spiral farther and farther down until they are a total wreck and struggling to make any forward progress. We all need to examine ourselves regularly and surround ourselves with friends who are like Nehemiah was to David. A friend who will tell you the truth rather than what you want to hear. A friend who knows the Word of God and how to apply it, at least to some degree. 

If you are a Christian dealing with depression, realize that you first should be a member of a solid church and attending weekly. Read your Bible every day and ask God to transform your thinking. So much of our trouble is based in selfishness and merely trying to avoid serving our husbands and children as we're supposed to (which if done as God says, will bring a lot of fulfillment and joy). So much of our problem is that we are empty vessels expecting others to fill us (husbands, friends, children), leaking love tanks I've heard it called. Years of bitterness, self-pity, seeking to be served rather than serve...it piles up and we find ourselves truly miserable. But the solution is not complicated. It just takes work, the work of getting into the Word and doing what it says. I realize this is not always possible on ones own, depending on how bad off a person is...how long they've let problems go unresolved. 

In these cases, seek the counsel of your pastor or another qualified pastor. God has the answers to our problems, we often complicate them by trying to make them a mental or environmental problem outside of His ways. Let the pastor help you see if you have a sin problem that is causing your angst or sadness. If it is not the cause, then perhaps there is a hormonal problem that needs to be dealt with, but this cannot be known simply by jumping from "I'm a Christian" to a secular or 'Christian' counselor. There are steps to take in between, that more often than not, will get to the root cause.

A lack of forgiveness is a huge reason for mental disturbances in people, and this can easily be overlooked by a world system that doesn't even register this as a bonafide crisis in a life, particularly the life of a believer.  God speaks to us about this in His word. Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies...how many people are walking around bitter and hurting? 

I recall doing a study where it was shown that depression is anger turned inward. Yes, we can be mistreated in terrible ways which makes us angry, but if this anger isn't dealt with biblically, we'll often turn it on our self and it will manifest as depression. 

Years ago I heard a Christian psychiatrist speak about a patient who came to her, and this patient was very depressed. She couldn't figure out the problem, but after a good bit of talking the doctor found out the woman was having an affair. Don't expect to be happy and living in sin as a believer. Thankfully this truly Christian doctor would not prescribe medication to this person. How often are believers walking around disobedient to God and miserable, yet they refuse to see a 'heart' doctor--a biblical (nouthetic) counselor or their pastor, who knows them and sees their lifestyle? 

In talking about counselors: be careful, Christian, who you get your counsel from. There are many wandering about trying to be a voice of instruction and reason, but whom are far from God. Wives who are not submissive to their own husbands, mothers who do not nurture their own children, counselors who have gone in to the field to try to deal with their own demons...Christians whose homes are NOT in order, who ignore basic common sense like eating a balanced diet and going to bed before midnight (and who let their kids do the same), who think they have a major problem but one that could easily be traced back to chronic lack of sleep. Do you know how much a lack of sleep can lead to serious mental problems? I read a book from my pediatrician on this topic when my oldest was an infant and it was a real eye opener. One can easily Google the consequences of chronic lack of sleep in children or adults. Take time to rule out what might seem obvious. A child that grows up in utter chaos with no routine is far more prone to struggling mentally and/or emotionally. There is tons of information out there about this, yet how many set themselves and their kids up for problems in this area and run to the secular doctor for counsel and medication when depression or anxiety set in? People do not want to accept responsibly that their own poor choices have led to, or at least contributed to, the depression they are feeling or the anxiety their kids are feeling. The attitude is safer which says 'this is some big problem totally outside me or anyone who is not a 'professional''....but God is also too small when thinking along this line.

If you are a believer struggling with emotional problems, I'd suggest being in church weekly and reading your Bible daily as step one. Do this for a few months, and if things are still bad try  tracking your eating with My Fitness Pal or some other app to make sure you are getting the nutrition you need. We understand our vehicles need fuel, and in theory that people do, yet how many parents do not train their children (which may mean 'force' by them sitting there until they try it) to try different healthy options at every meal? I see kids today who eat nothing healthy--their parents consider milk a meal, or chicken nuggets and candy staples to rely on. They will spend endless hours on weird therapies, spouting off about the dangers of modern medicine, but won't clean up the rat's nest of a house, put the child in bed at a reasonable time, or make them eat a balanced diet.

Along this line, try getting to bed every night before 11 pm, and make your bed and dress when you get up.  Write out 10 things each day you are thankful for and look for ways to bless those around you who are in your care or worse off. If all of this doesn't help after a couple of weeks, talk to your pastor and start to be regularly counseled for a couple of months. Nouthetic counseling is designed to last about 6 weeks and really helps get to the core of the issues in a life. The person counseling you will see if there is something else going on at this point. Is it organic in nature? Is it a woman dealing with menopause? A medical doctor may be needed if all of the aforementioned steps have been taken and there is no improvement, but first it needs to be determined if sin is the root cause of the problem causing the depression. We can rebel in subtle ways and it will wreak havoc for the child of God. If all of these things haven't helped a true believer improve, there may be a mental problem that a medical doctor needs to be brought in on. Realize this should not be a primary step in the process as it can make things far worse for a Christian whose real issue is sin or some hormonal problem being ignored. This is a fallen world, and people get diseases of the mind unfortunately. But keep in mind that the worldly doctors do not know how to know the whole Christian. They aren't capable of it.

In closing, let me say there are not always answers to our problems that make life as good as we'd like it. Sometimes we're going to suffer in this life until we die and are reunited with the Lord. Death is not failure on God's part. It can be His mercy when a believer has problem that is so bad it will bring shame to His name or cause their loved ones misery. Sometimes in this fallen world all that can be done is done, and things do not look like we want. Don't doubt God or think the world has better answers than He does. That is what unbelievers do. But we have hope in a promise of what is to come, and in a God that is trustworthy and always there.

For more on Christian hope: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/what-is-so-important-about-christian-hope