Choosing Peace

I recall hearing, when I was a much younger woman, older women stating how they would not want to go back and relive their younger years. I couldn't really comprehend why that would be. Youth seemed to be the *best* there was. My body was tone, my weight ideal, hair silky and long, expression full of zest...and confidence wasn't lacking either!

This was what my 20's were characterized by, with an unhealthy dose of chaos. 

Chaos, my husband told me, that I often sought out and thrived on. It was one of many observations he'd make, that in time I'd come to agree with. In time.

A characteristic of human behavior is that oftentimes when something we do is pointed out to us as a negative, rather than seriously consider the truth that could be there, we will start working to disprove what the other person has observed. We'll consciously or unconsciously work to 'show' them we really do have a problem or we really don't choose to make life harder.

For this reason, as I've aged, I've stopped giving unsolicited advice a lot of the time, which is also something I've learned from my husband. There is a time and a place, and it is rarely the time to offer an opposing opinion not sought out. People do what they want to do and what they've determined in their mind needs to happen. Whether it does or doesn't is moot in a mind made up. 

Back to chaos. 

Chaotic living is often a learned behavior. Women, particularly young women, seem to find it preferable to jump from one thing to another, avoiding the consistency that brings peace and steadfastness. They think there is more virtue in big productions, multi-tasking or tackling numerous projects--all of which 'give them permission' to be scatter-brained, forgetful, or late. Young women who are like this and do not learn to see this pattern and correct it, will carry it into their marriage, and if they don't marry a steady man who sees this AND can help them change, their life will be hectic for the duration. Their children will in turn learn that life is unpredictable, wild, unplanned and unscheduled. It is a generational problem that breeds ineffectual living in many ways. 

Chaos. 

There are enough aspects of life that truly are out of our control, so why create scenarios that add more chaos than is needed? It is like holiday promotions in stores. Thanksgiving hasn't happened yet Christmas items are out, and before New Years Eve has passed, we're thinking of Valentine's Day...this is what you can make your life into. Finish one 'project' and jump right into another one with a sense of urgency that is unwarranted. 

I resist this sort of living. It is not always easy. People do not understand. People who don't want to be home or can't sit still do not comprehend the need to have open time in one's schedule. People who get their self worth from relationships with other people feel something is missing if they have too much time alone, which can be translated as 'any time alone'. 

I want to live intentionally, and I want my children to live intentionally. I want my value and their value to come from serving the Lord through a quiet life conformed to the image of Jesus. I don't want that to mean living in the limelight, for me or them. I don't want it to mean showing their talents to the world at every opportunity, or having to be with other people for a sense of fulfillment. I don't see those characteristics in the Bible as virtues. 

Social media lends itself largely to living in chaos, living unfulfilled, wasting time on fruitless ventures that give a false sense of importance. I want God to give us opportunities to serve Him meaningfully and in ways that have time for contemplation, staying the course He's set for us, and finishing what we've started well.