Age of Awareness

There is a sad reality that hits every young person, the age where they notice their body shape and compare it to other people. As a Christian mom, this is a day of heart-break. Your child, typically a girl, comments on something you've noticed (because let's face it, we all understand vanity) and hope she never does. But, maturity brings with it eyes that see things a young child doesn't see.

It just pains me that my girls wouldn't think they are 100% perfect physically. It is a challenge to my own heart in answering certain questions--honesty is a must, but so is taking the opportunity to teach Biblical truth and give wise counsel. The truth of life is that we need to be healthy, as healthy as we reasonably can be, and yes, extra weight or eating poorly really does need to be addressed...but it's so important to be careful in our word choices. I don't want to lie to my children and tell them being fearfully and wonderfully  made is a pass to live like a glutton and be physically lazy. How can we serve the Lord if we're taking this body for granted? I cringe to say that though because there is such a craze right now of running 'halfs' or marathons...the idol of physical fitness lurks beyond many a Krispy Kreme case, beckoning us to jump on board if we are not inclined to bask in the sugary-fluff of a donut. So-called Christian yoga is yet another trap ensnaring the unwise; we're told it's just a form of stretching and a safe way to get in shape. Mentioning being healthy means teaching our kids to be discerning and wise on many fronts.

Navigating these issues in the sin-riddled world we're in is not easy. I really want to walk the line in a balanced manner. Realities of life are that those with slower metabolisms often want to be more sedentary, so gaining extra pounds is not difficult. Likewise, those with faster metabolisms are usually bundles of energy and can eat whatever they want. I'm thankful God allowed me to have an injury that ended any running in my life because were it not for that, I'd surely still be able to eat whatever I want, confusing thinness for health. What a mistake!

Mom's let us work hard to take care of the body God has given us, not only as a gift to our husbands, but as a gift to our daughters and sons--an example of thankfulness, balance and wise (sometimes self-sacrificing) choices. It will ultimately be a gift to God if we feel well enough to serve Him as we also serve our families tirelessly. I want to be a woman whose family rises up and calls her blessed!

Either, Or?

When talking about homeschooling and academics, I get a little squeamish when the discussion goes toward the issue of spiritual condition of students vs. academics.

The premise of this is what needs to be focused on. Why should this issue ever be an either/or?

I wish I'd learn to ask people, mothers--because fathers never suggest this...

Is God glorified through ignorance?

Can our Christian witness be helped or hurt by how we teach our kids?

I don't think we should ever get to a point of compromising our children's spiritual well being for academics, nor do I think we should excuse not challenging our children to their fullest potential out of a superficial high mindedness that ignorance is acceptable as long as our kids are godly.

As parents we have an obligation to educate our children to their fullest potential. God gifts each person differently, and the home educating parent can best determine what their child's potential is. Will we win the lost better if we cannot communicate with them or defend the truth scientifically? We may reach a certain sect, but we certainly will not reach others if that is our strategy.

I suggest following God's lead on how we teach our children, making sure to exceed the world's standards as much as possible, particularly being sensitive to how God has wired our students. All too often homeschooling mothers hide behind their own failure with comments about preferring their children to be godly rather than not, as if academic excellence is evil. 

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Have you ever wanted to be friends with someone, and they seem to genuinely like you, but they never seem to make seeing you a priority?

Here are some examples:

-You invite them to a party and they go do something else, forgetting they said they'd come.
-You plan a visit with the family and they send a key person to someone else's house for that day and have to reschedule.
-Perhaps it is a play date with one of your kids and they always cancel or reschedule.
-You find yourself initiating the vast majority of get-togethers

It is good to try to give the benefit of doubt assuming they are busy, or trying to understand if they struggle in general with planning. However, sometimes it is discovered the other party somehow manages to coordinate with other people, and that can cause us to really give pause.

You may have assumed someone was doing things with other people, but then find out they were going through a difficult time and were actually just home working through some problems.

I've dealt with both scenarios during the last 10 years, and is strange to me since I don't treat others like this.

What do you do in these situations?

I can tell you that when this happens, it might be you are simply wasting your time on the wrong people or relationships. It might be the people just don't feel a connection with you, or they like your kids but not you particularly. They may be driven by helping others so put aside people who they perceive as not needing their help. Whatever it is, after years of this treatment, we've all got to assess the situation and decide what we can live with.

Several times I've thought I'd just write off someone because of this. But then I just try again when it involves friendships for my children.

What I've been seeing is that God is providing without the people who are unreliable or who I've been unsuccessful connecting with.

Don't get upset when people can't be counted on, just pray for God to provide for your needs and the needs of your children.

The other day someone gave me back materials they said they wanted to borrow. I could have been disappointed that they never used them and were just coming in to a time of being able to use the stuff, but instead I happily took them back. You know what happened? Literally the next day or so I received a text from someone asking if I had a book by the author of the program I'd just been given back. Not only did I have the book, but the an entire series to help them. What a joy to help someone who genuinely wanted it!

I hope you will find encouragement in God's provision. There are always friends to be had.