Closing Thoughts

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.
Matthew 7:13

It is important to not just know history, but to understand it. It can be easy to dismiss change when we fail to evaluate why the change is happening. Some of us like change; I know I do in many instances.

This is critical in light of the churches we attend and groups we participate in. For example, one reason I homeschool is to protect my children from worldviews that are opposed to Christianity AND WHICH DO NOT ENDORSE BIBLICAL CHRISTIANITY. It is not just watching out for what is wrong, but I do not want to waste time in neutral territory during formative years. Children are like saplings, so they need to be protected from wrong thinking, not exposed to it. They are also like saplings in that they need a steady diet of good nutrition (proactive teaching on what is right). When we participated in homeschool co-ops or groups, a huge reason was to have what we believed and taught encouraged and supported.

I suspect a justification of groups becoming more inclusive is to help sharpen our students, but isn't this the same side of the coin which would incorrectly think that our children should be in situations where they are salt and light? Let's not turn them out to the incorrect ways of the world before they are hardened off. It's a sad reality that a group can call itself a 'like minded community' while having Catholics, evolutionists, Mormons, creationists, Baptists...that should give us pause.

It's important to understand the culture we live in and what is going on in the Christian church at large. For example, many churches are filled with pastors and members that believe the Bible and traditional preaching are insufficient to meet the needs of the culture. This can be overtly communicated, or subtly. As a mom who wants to be careful how her children are raised--should this matter?

Are we unknowingly digesting advice from people who, because they are nice and seem similar to us, are coming from a place that is not the same as us with our view of God and family life?

I will give an example. Years ago there was  a lady I enjoyed talking with. She'd gone ahead of me in several ways with life, so it was nice to get her input. I decided to ask about her church...when I looked it up, my computer filter blocked it under the 'cult and occult' heading. Turns out this fellowship has some really weird practices--quite out of the box, and my religious background is very varied. Needless to say, when I realized where this woman would be coming from in regard to certain topics, it changed some of what we'd talk about. Did I throw the baby out with the bath water? No--but I was much more discerning. For us, our 'like-mindedness' was not as much as I previously had thought.

We have a responsibility to be discerning and vigilant, and not just go along with the crowd we see, assuming that if people say they are Christians, then they are thinking as we are. I think this is a danger in the homeschooling community more and more. Women doing a lot of socializing and talking often breeds misconceptions and attitudes that do not help how we're running our homes or us having a high standard. I think often we end up justifying being slackers when we sit around and talk a lot with other women.  To recap-- when thinking of where we are giving our time and energy, realizing our kids see how we operate-- how close do we want our kids to be with those whose ideology isn't the same? Are we promoting the nebulous idea of community, overtly or subtly, and if we are, is this notion in line with what Scripture would say as far as who our intimate friends should be? Aren't adults supposed to be very careful who they receive counsel from? How will our kids hold to this if when they are young we are encouraging ecumenicism? At what age do you plan, mom, to 'cut them off' from being in a community/friendship with people whose ideology does not align solidly with the Bible?

It gets easy to blur lines when we want to 'all just get along'. Sometimes as parents we need to make hard decisions because our kids catch how we operate and what we tolerate. There is so much to attack Biblical faith, especially the older kids get. How are we modeling wisdom and discernment? Are we taking a stand for high standards? If our priorities are socializing instead of modeling discernment, chances of missing some good teaching opportunities will present themselves.

What appetites are we fostering in our children? Are we helping them choose friends in families where the father is a godly leader and the mother is disciplining Biblically? It matters greatly as our kids age who we've helped encourage them to be close to. I've seen families not pay attention to this and then when their children are of an age to start getting in to real trouble, they've got a peer network that is less than ideal. That is a tough time to say, "Honey, maybe you should consider spending less time with so and so." Likewise, I mention family units and how the house is run for this reason. Divorce is something that is always going to be a sad part of our culture, even in the homeschooling world. As I write I can name 3 family's I know torn apart, and 3 I've heard of in the past month--all Christians, 4 homeschooling with more than 1 child at home. There is not a guarantee on who will stay married and who will not, but the reality is that it's very hard on kids if they have multiple friends whose parents are divorcing. It is also hard on older kids when they see their friends not being raised in a way that builds them up, but rather tears them down.

Bottom line--pay attention to who your kids are friends with, and do not be afraid to steer them in a different direction. First-time obedience without talking back is a standard that is acceptable and when it's held to, it very often reveals there is a Dad leading the family. Children who are over 4 years old and still interrupt mom when she is talking to her friends, or older children who linger and want to horn in on mom's discussions reveal a lack of respect and understanding their place. Pay attention to these things. There is a big difference between training toddlers and young children, and older elementary children. Public behavior should be very good under most circumstances with kids who are older than 2nd grade, even 1st graders should have very good public behavior.

It bears repeating that as we raise our children, and especially as we homeschool them, there is a terrific pull to accept all Christian beliefs as valid. While we know all things aren't true, we can easily slip in to acting like it's all OK for the sake of feeling a part of things. Not everything is 'church' or meant to be, but if it's being labeled 'Christian', then the standard is higher. Our kids know it's called a Christian group for one thing. If it claims to be like-minded, let us not assume anything about that. What can start as meaning core Christian belief like-minded can morph in to being 'way of educating' like-minded. Many people know how to give lip service to turn a profit.

With all of this said, I'll be continuing my infrequent posting. It is time to really start preparing more for next year. It will be my most time-consuming and difficult year to date. I hope you will continue to visit my blog and read old posts.

Some suggested reading:
Ashamed of the Gospel by John MacArthur
What Every Child Should Know Along the Way Gail Martin
Studies in the Sermon on the Mount by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Have a blessed rest of summer,
Ann