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Critical Issues in Biblical Counseling

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Stay Pure

No stage of parenting is easy. Days can be easy, seasons easier, but parenting takes hard work, day in and day out, for years without end. Don't do what will give you children until you are ready to strive to parent well daily. 

A pot of water does not go from cold to boiling. Wisdom dictates not starting down a path you don't want to finish. Stick to the high road. 

No one becomes addicted who never takes a drink. Why set your feet on a path where you'll have to stand still for months on end? Or take a road that has the potential to lead to a place you'll regret going, or ruin a special moment you'd planned for your engagement or wedding day?

Loss of respect for yourself or another is not easily regained. Regret sticks in the mind sometimes for life.

Sacrificial love is to do what is best for another without thought for your own desires or needs. Starting this at the beginning of a relationship will aid the firm foundation of self-control that marks great marriages. 

When a man demonstrates self-control to his future bride, it instills confidence in her that he will remain faithful during the inevitable hard times that come with marriage. 

When a woman demonstrates self-control to her future husband, she shows a greater capacity to honor his wishes as the mother of his children. She'll be better equipped to fight her own selfish impulses, which is necessary for sacrificial mothering. 

Modesty regards behavior as well as dress. Don't play games with 'conservative sexiness' or coyness. Govern yourself. It is wise to choose to be more careful than necessary in honor of your Lord, rather than hover at the line which should not be crossed.

As with many things, we only fool ourselves when we try to skirt godly standards. Our inner man is revealed subtly to those around us and will impact our opportunities and reputation. 

Holiness concerns itself with godliness. 

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Gal 6:9

Promise to the Child of God

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, Because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: Great is thy faithfulness.

Lam 3:22-23

As the World Moves, So Goes the Church

Heading into a new year, there are numerous things on my mind...how I want to improve in devotion to the Lord, how I want to grow in trust and being set apart for Him, and how I do not want to be moved by circumstance. 

I've been pondering being set apart a lot more than usual in recent weeks as I've been blessed to teach on the book of Exodus the past several weeks. Prior to this, I got to spend a fair bit of time in Genesis. 

God was so serious about setting His chosen nation, Israel, apart for Himself. I believe He is still quite interested in His children being clearly set apart for Himself. We are to be in the world but not of it, to be a peculiar people, to be discreet, trustworthy, wholesome, honest, not a stumbling block, a people of God's own possession. The deeper spiritual issues should set us apart, but also our general behavior and speech. We should not lie or steal or gossip, but we should also not destroy the body God has given us or use it how we want. All things should come under subjection to the One who saved us. Areas such as what we listen to, what we read, how we spend our time, how selfless we are toward others, how we wear our hair, how we take care of ourselves, how we dress, how we spend our time and money, how easy we are to deal with (bc of not bullying others or intimidating them or forcing our will...). Whether we're women or men, we should seriously evaluate what we do when we are adults (children should be made to have godly standards, no matter how vexing and draining it is to hold them to them!). 

Israel was to be completely separate from Egypt, and God showed that time and again, particularly with how there was a distinct difference as He brought the various plagues on Egypt and not those in Goshen. The Abrahamic Covenant separated God's men from those outside of the covenant, and what a time of clarity when the men led and determined the families allegiance. Notice how there wasn't a mark the women had to do to show their allegiance. God has a beautiful, patriarchal design for the family. In keeping with the thought of being separated out for Him, when the Exodus came, He separated His own out quite literally. 

Just as we walk through a narrow gate of salvation, one by one, we must all come to our own decisions on what we will do as His followers. Others cannot make us be separated out for a life of service and devotion to Christ. To give lip service or partial service is very different than striving to commit yourself wholly to Him, to aim to die to yourself and take up your cross daily...

We will each have our own challenges to be clearly marked for Him, be they physical, situational, financial, or occupational. We have to decide how we will take those challenges. Will we use them as an excuse to be worldly, or will we see them as helping push us to a greater sacrifice for His name's sake, perhaps having to be even more conservative so as to clearly not cross the line He's laid out before us? Choose you this day Who YOU will serve...

We must decide these things for ourselves. He calls His own by name and no sacrifice on this earth is too great to make for what He has done for us. We do  need to be quiet before Him and pray for wisdom to see what He wants of us. Continual noise and distraction will allow us to remain in our self-righteous sin for far too long. 

In the spirit of being set apart, here are some talks by Elizabeth Elliot that I'll be listening to as 2026 gets underway. I'll be getting in shape and losing weight, and that will challenge me to be modest, and I'm aging and the attitudes of women can be more immodest at this stage of life if not careful. I want to bring glory and not shame to my Lord in 2026, and think these will only help me. 

Modesty: Elizabeth Elliot

Wedding Etiquette-To My Children

The degradation of society is seen through posts I find oddly, and shockingly, necessary to write to you three. In my heart, I feel certain this is unnecessary for each of you, but so that I can rest easy, and incase you marry worse than your father and I hope and pray, here it is.

You invite those to your wedding who will pray for you and support you in your marriage. You invite those who are family members in good standing and who have a relationship with you or dad and I. Honor those who've taken an interest in you in the church family with an invitation. Above all, never invite married couples individually, meaning, without including their spouse. It is rude and insulting, and if you deigned to invite a wife without her husband, particularly if he is known to you, that is the height of matriarchy and insult. I don't care the reasons, fabricated or otherwise, but know that is unacceptable in a Christian setting to do such a thing. Let people decline, but do not presume to decide for them for any reason whatsoever. People make their own decisions based on what they are able to do and based on what is most important to them. 

You include friends and family of you and your spouse, and you include people who mean a lot to your parents. Sometimes it is work friends of your parents--people who care about us and so in turn, care about you. It is a beautiful time of celebrating and realizing that marriage involves support through the years of many, and it often comes about on the prayers of people who have loved you since before you were born, or helped along by those who are involved in our lives the most each week. 

Cut costs where you can and must, but not at the cost of harming relationships with people who rightly expect you to include them in such a happy time. It is better to do small and well, than bigger and foolishly. 

Lord willing, Dad and I will be here to help guide you through one of the best days of your life. 

Love,
Mom 


mustaches

I'm not sure why there is this craze of young men growing mustaches, but they don't look good. A quite handsome young man shifts to a rather unattractive young man because of one. 

You may ask how I have come to this opinion? I can think quickly of 3 examples that I've known personally. Then there are countless in the cyber online dating app world. 

What is up with mothers not telling their sons they look far less cute with a hairy upper lip? Lest you think this is just my opinion, think again. It's a view attractive young women I know have, as well as an attractive mature man.

Please, if you are actually looking to find a beautiful young bride, shave!! Shave it all!