Starting Early

I didn't fully grasp the wisdom in my husband's influence in leading us to have sit-down family dinners every night when the kids were younger. I was one to live in a bit more chaos, thinking it was fine to just eat on the 'go', even if we were only in the house.

Now that the kids are older-11, 13, 15- I see how much it has mattered to start them as babies with the routine of stopping everything to sit, give thanks, and nourish their bodies. What we've eaten throughout the years has influenced them more than anything. They've seen us eat at regular times every day throughout their lives, and it is only natural for them to do the same.

It is part of parenting: teach your children to value the body God has given them, teach them to be grateful for the food He's provided, teach them that routine brings order, and give them the best opportunity at a healthy life with the best brain development you can afford.

I recall days, apparently gone by, when every mother knew that waking a child at a good, early hour was the best way to start the day. Followed by a wholesome breakfast, which meant limited sugar, milk, fruit and grains--the body was at its best to learn and play and grow.

A day when moms knew that sleep begets sleep, and children need naps. There wasn't this arbitrary waiting to see if the child was sleepy--mom knew that a child under 5 needed a regular rest every day at the same time. So one o'clock rolled around and the little ones were put down--AWAKE, and disciplined (ie trained) to stay in their bed and go to sleep or shut their eyes and rest. This happened after having to SIT DOWN and eat what mom put in front of them...and after waking from nap and playing and learning, a healthy dinner was served and parents and children ate the same food and were grateful. Then bedtime happened, in ones own bed, at the SAME early hour every night.

Those days seem gone in this age of permissive parenting, where privileges are given before responsibilities are given. It is a sad thing, but there is hope for those who care about their kids enough to do the hard work of parenting!

Old fashioned values do a lot more than stir up nostalgia. There is a purpose in eating together, talking together, giving thanks together, and nourishing our bodies with good fuel. Life is better when you are healthier and you optimize God's gift of life, for the years He's given.

There Really is No Guarantee

I'm a pretty healthy 42 yr old woman, happily married with three great kids. We have our struggles from time to time, but nothing serious. Our health is steady and good, and the kids don't have any learning challenges. My husband and I both love the Lord and we're all active in our church.

But you know, things can change so fast. My daughter's very close friend was admitted to the hospital today. She has severe ulcerative colitis and they can't get it under control. The problem came on gradually, but now that it is here, it is present and a problem. Their lives will be impacted by this for the long haul.

I was reading about a woman who was healthy and suddenly got diagnosed with MS. Within 3 yrs she could no longer walk unassisted. We have a friend who is not even 33 and has been diagnosed. It is scary, but so real.

It makes me think of being as grateful and active as I can be right now, enjoying the movement and freedom I have. Life goes too fast and as we age, there are no guarantees.

Another friend has had a series of what seem like strokes, and she is just  not returning to her former self. It isn't clear if she ever will. This lady is not even 60 yrs old. So much life left to live, but the golden years are looking very different from how she thought they would look.

As we usher in a new president elect of the United States, I hope people will remember there are no guarantees, and will be more faithful to pray DAILY for those in leadership. God appoints leaders and will use them for His purposes, which are not always sunshine, freedom and roses as we'd like to think. When under God's judgment, He will use leaders to exact the actions He wants to see happen. May we not be lazy and content to just let things unfold as they may, but let us be propelled to pray regularly for God to have mercy on us, His people, and bring about righteousness in the hearts of men.

J Dub

God's Goodness

We've had a Kenmore front loading washer for 10 years, and for the last 2, we've milked it along. Finally the day came to decide on a new washer, which is no small feat given how ridiculously safety conscious and environmentally worshipful the manufacturers are.

That said, there was a price point we wanted and only a very basic washer met this point. I'd asked God for a washer and a dryer for a certain amount (double the cost of the washer alone) if it would be possible, because our dryer has to go through 2 or 3 full cycles to dry one load from our washer (which only works some days, and some times on those 'working' days).

My husband thought to check all the area stores for the model we were narrowing in on, and would you believe a nicer washer was selling for the base model one. It is the same manufacturer so easy to compare the features, and it is unreal but one store had this better model on a super low discount. We went to our preferred store and took the salesman we'd met earlier that same day up on his offer to price match. The great thing was, we also had a coupon at our preferred store, so in the end we got the exact washer I wanted for lower than the one I debated on settling for!

It is God who can do these things for us, and He is so good. We're very grateful and pray He'll continue to help us use the money He's entrusted to us carefully and thoughtfully.

Don't Settle If You Don't Have To

I was thinking tonight about the closeness I feel to the people in my church. 

We've been in other churches for longer than our present situation, and the difference is notable. 

Christian, don't lose heart if you are in a church with only nominal believers. If there is a shallowness and a lack of caring for Biblical doctrine and truth, please look around for a better place to worship and serve. 

So many people in our church truly love Jesus Christ, and they are thinkers. They aren't swept up with so many of the modern movements and the worldliness in so many churches today. 

There are still people who hold hymnals, bring their Bible to church, take notes, pray for each other outside of worship services, and have each others contact information to use it throughout the week. There are churches where conversations are about things that matter, and the music is edifying and gives the gospel message. There are churches where Sunday is a day largely devoted to being in church together, with 2 services, and a mid-week service as well. 

Don't forget how good God is and how sweet the fellowship with true believers is. It is out there, you may just have to get out to look for it. 

Do the Ends Justify the Means?

Something to think about as Christians...

Just because the end results might look fruitful, is how we're going about getting those results pleasing to the Lord? 

Are we holy? 

Yoga promotes great circulation and flexibility, possibly allowing us to serve Him more, but does He want His children connected with this Hindu form of worship in any manner?

Throwing block parties with worldly music might bring people in to the church, but will this method of evangelism go hand in hand with solid Bible preaching, or is this what is happening in the church at large, which has left its first love? 

Isn't this what seeker-friendly means? 

Too many think they can get really close to the line and draw people in while themselves holding to Biblical, traditional Christianity...but we're seeing that isn't the case. As the methods shift closer to the world, so does the doctrine.

The Word is powerful, the message is powerful.

Where are you on the spectrum of trust in this?

Good Reads for Christians Before Voting

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/10/09/donald-trump-has-created-an-excruciating-moment-for-evangelicals/

 https://www.facebook.com/prosapologian/posts/1121708434520674

http://christianresearchnetwork.org/2016/03/03/phil-johnson-evangelical-support-for-trump-proves-the-american-evangelical-movement-isnt-truly-_evangelical_-in-any-historic-sense-of-the-word/


If Hillary Clinton was the lesser of the evils, would you vote for her?

When under judgment, how is a Christian to act?

The answer is: repent. It isn't to skirt the truth or lessen it.

What we associate the name of Christ with matters, and so does WHO we associate the name of Christ with. Do we think we're to avoid misery as Christians?

More importantly, do we think we are to do something wrong in order to make our lives better as Christians? Is it morally right and upstanding as a follower of Jesus to elect a man to office who is a man such as Donald Trump? Do the ends justify the means??

Many in today's church say that yes, the ends justify the means. If stealing or lying ultimately 'helps' it is OK. That is the same logic that can work for a Christian saying they'll vote for Trump. He is untrustworthy but they think he is a safer bet than Hillary Clinton, so they'll 'hold their nose' and vote because the world will be better for them and their children, presumably.

The character traits that have Christians justifying voting for Trump, are they good traits? Is voting out of fear noble? Is choosing someone deplorable OK because you think that will keep a worse person from winning?  What about doing what is right when no one is looking, or when everyone is looking? What about the narrow gate that leads to righteousness?

People under judgment do not necessarily have a good human choice. Therefore they hold back on voting for a person that is an offense to the King they serve. I'm not saying don't vote, but vote for a name you can say is someone that doesn't spit in the face of God and what He stands for, trusting in HIM for your salvation, not any politician.

JDub

How Can I Vote for Trump?

When you realize you've been bought with a price and that as a Christian, who you associate the name of Jesus with is about more than what you may logically conclude, it changes the game in an election such as we're facing.

We all know that Hillary Clinton is a wretched person to be President. The truth is, anyone being honest knows Donald Trump is also a terrible choice. Would Jesus choose the lesser of the evils? Would He associate with a man like Trump? Do we vote out of fear or because we really are convinced that one is better than another, when both are bad? Is that how Jesus taught us to make choices?

Or as Christians are we to accept the fate coming to us because of the judgment of God which we're under? Should we not make the hard choice to stand apart and not cow to the 'a vote for anyone other than Trump is a vote for Hillary' logic? In human terms, I can see how people think that. We all know what 3rd parties do, but again, as people bought with a price, doesn't it mean we sometimes suffer?

My best friend in the world, beside my husband, is a person who I cannot put words to on how special she is to me and how we see things nearly always the same. To be given a friend who I can be completely open with and she me, is only something God could do.

Here is part of what she said to me recently in response to a note I'd sent her:

This week I have come to the firm resolution  (thank God because I was really stressing over this) that I  won't vote for Trump. Not that I was seriously considering before, but I second guessed a bit. This is what came to mind after really weighing things. Again I was always leaning towards not voting for President, but this is what brought me peace- I will not allow fear or hatred to motivate me to violate my conscious. 

Nothing good will come from doing something  in fear or out of hate. I feel no hate towards Hilary Clinton, but see and hear it in others when they talk about her on FB or just in conversation. Many are Christians. It's unsettling . My motivation for considering voting for Trump is more out of fear of what will happen to our country if Democrats are in control,  if I'm being honest. Today, I feel like God impressed on me that fear is not a reason to vote against my conscious. We both know tough times are going to come. It's inevitable. I'm reminded that the Church grew and grows the most during times of oppression and strife. 

The fact that these two people are our choices for President is a reflection on us and our society. I struggled with, but now reject the idea that not voting for Trump means a vote for Hilary. The hypocrisy all around has been eye opening especially in my own party. So much selective moral outrage on both sides. Like you, it really pains me to see people I thought were biblically sound make justifications for Trump's actions and words. Some of the big names have recanted, but I'm afraid their witness has been damaged and they just appear wishy washy or opportunists because it now appears the tides have turned on Trump. Then there are those who will not budge on their devotion to Trump (or Hilary). What fresh hell would it take to make them condemn their own party's candidate I wonder. It seems nothing fazes them.  And I am so guilty of getting caught up in it all, but feel like I need to focus more on Jesus. He truly is our only hope and the sooner this country realizes it the better for us all. I need to be more in prayer for sure. 

 

WHEN WE SEE MORE CHRISTIANS VOTING FOR WHAT GOD WOULD APPROVE OF, WE'LL BE IN A FAR BETTER PLACE THAN WE ARE NOW. CHRISTIANS PRAYING DAILY FOR OUR LEADERS AS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING AND NOT THINKING THAT SOMEHOW A PRESIDENT IS GOING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR US OR THE WORLD. 

 

What I want to know is what all of the Christians who are voting for Trump will say when he proves to be wicked in leadership. How will you justify your 'lesser of the evils' and 'his platform is what I'm voting for' and 'Hilary would be worse'. Will the name of Jesus be marred by supporting Trump? Who do we serve as believers?

 

Our Puppy

I'm so glad a friend encouraged me to take a lot of pictures of our puppy! She is growing at an alarming rate, putting on pounds each week, and that little puppy face is leaving us just as fast.

Here she is Sept 21st-

The Benefit of Being Vulnerable

Have you ever had someone tell you pretty bad news that you didn't have any idea could be possible because you hadn't been given information leading up to such news? For example, a friend suffered a miscarriage and tells you the very sad news, but you didn't even know she was expecting?

It makes for a different response scenario than if you had rejoiced in the expected child and also were feeling the loss. You are still sad for your friend, and are praying, but it isn't the same as you suffering the loss alongside her. 

Being vulnerable and open with friends builds closeness, in the good times and the tough. I'm sure it goes without saying that when we are a shoulder for our friends, they are more likely to be a shoulder for us. Sometimes that isn't the case though. There are people who draw in to themselves when they have a hard time, and if you are also having a go of it, they won't be paying attention to what you might need. There are people who are takers in general; apt to reach out when they need it, but don't check in with others enough to be a regular support.

Be the friend you want to have. God is good and always has shown Himself faithful in this area in my life. Culling what and who need culling, and providing what I need, whether a fresh perspective or someone else.  ♥

Importance of Work for Teens

It doesn't take much for me to get in to a near panic about my kids' workloads. If there are tears and unhappiness, I want to take the foot off the gas. Immediately.

In talking with my oldest and cherished friend today, she reminded me of truths that helped calm me down. So often friends want to take our side, which can mean not taking our husband's side, because they want to make us feel better. Emotion rules the situation, and we gals like to stick together. Sometimes though, we need to be reminded that our husbands are there to guide us and our family. A caring friend hears what we're saying and while listening, determines the real need, and then lovingly and directly says what we need to be told. Today my friend's calming words allowed me to hear from God and remember that work is crucial for young adults. 

I knew it when the kids were very young and playing was their 'work'. 

I knew it when they were under 10 and needed to be trained in helpful tasks around the house.

I've known it regarding high school graduates who struggle with not sleeping, anxiety, and depression who coincidentally aren't working full time nor are they attending college full time. 

The Bible tells us idle hands are the devil's workshop...and I've always realized that regarding adult women. Too much free time ultimately brings misery.

Where I've struggled to understand the importance for work is with kids in high school. I've known this age was my weak spot in general. The young years of disciplining, educating, guiding and training came much easier to me. The reality of high school is that it is a critical time of pushing ahead and staying busy as the hormones rage and thoughts about family, life and God solidify. Too much peer time is hindering and brings a lot of unnecessary drama. Too little work breeds a host of problems from incessant circular self-absorbed thinking to gossip to depression and rebellion. 

Teens need to work-- hard and often-- whether it be through sports, a job, or academic challenges that keep them occupied much of the time. 

Parents need the foresight of how the years go as they raise their kids. If you want family to be the center throughout middle and high school, start with traditions when the kids are young and everyone looks forward to. Things like a Friday Night Dessert or Friday Night Pizza Night or a Game Night...with just the family, form ties that bind. 

Starting Saturdays with getting the whole house cleaned together and the yard work done ties binds as well. Everyone is working together for a common goal. By the time the afternoon rolls around, many kids will want to spend time with their siblings relaxing and reconnecting since the week has been busy and probably prevented them from doing fun things together. For only children, it could be that you have another special tradition like eating out on a Saturday night with perhaps one or two Saturdays being where a friend could come. 

I urge parents to guard against fulfilling a child's strong desire to be with friends often, however. Just like in public school where friends become the peer group, this can happen with homeschoolers easily, and not all groups of peers are upholding your family values. As with any desire we feed and feed, it grows and grows and gets to where we simply aren't satisfied. 

Too many friends can cause us all to become so outwardly focused we miss what God has put right in front of us to 'tend and keep'. We moms need to be the example to our children on being content and satisfied with a life that isn't continually on the go or requiring stimulation of other people. It is a lesson harder for extroverts, but the reality is that none of us can or should get what we want all the time or even 'too often'. 

I hope this helps someone reading to make wise decisions early on with your children and how you shape their use of time and prioritization of it. 
 

Lunch Idea for Busy Tuesday

If I were able to keep mental track of how many recipes I put on here, I'd just number them, but of course I have no idea. :)

I'm making lunch and breakfast a few times each week...well, breakfast at least once during the school week and lunch at least twice, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My oldest has 3 online classes those days and that doesn't leave much time for anything but school work and sitting in class.

Today's lunch started with a simple roux--butter melted with chopped onion and flour stirred in to form a thick paste. Milk added while heating on med/high until a nice sauce consistency was reached. I added salt, pepper and turmeric because we use a lot of turmeric these days.

Next, I chopped up mozzarella cheese (1 block) and about 7 slices of American cheese, and popped them in the sauce. I'd already cooked a bunch of noodles because I was doing some freezer meals today, so I just added in the noodles to the sauce, then about 1/2 bag of frozen peas. 

After mixing together, it was ready to serve. I did use a stick blender after adding the cheese to make the melting go faster :).

Leftovers of this went well for dinner. I added more beef, half a container of cottage cheese and baked it. 

not the meal described :)

 

CC Timeline

Fall 2016

I remember sitting next to my good friend when the new CC Timeline was revealed. We were both immediately saddened and uncomfortable. What had started with 'Creation' and 'The Fall in the Garden', now said 'Age of Ancient Empires', then moved on to Creation; almost as if Creation was part of a timeline.

That felt and still feels curious. It might seem minor, but Creation is not part of any man-made age. It stands alone as the single great work of God Almighty.

In time I taught my children the new timeline, except my oldest who was in 6th grade when it rolled out. My middle girl had the option of sticking with the old or taking on the new. My youngest learned the new even though he'd memorized the old one.

Now with my youngest in 6th grade I pulled out our cycle 2 materials and have an old Grammar on the Go, a creation of one of our seasoned and respected tutors of many years. It had all the pertinent memory work in it for our campus only and was colorful and small. I'd adjusted the material that had been shifted to accommodate new printings of the costly Foundations guide, all but the Timeline. My son read the old Timeline and immediately said, "This is way more Biblical".

What started as material that unashamedly glorified our God, gradually shifted. Part was for copy-write issues we continually had since Veritas owned the cards we used, but this also coincided with Bible being dropped from the Memory Master requirements. Later Bible left the classroom all together. A component that reinforced Christian teachings at home fell by the wayside, which was disappointing since the only other place that reinforces those teachings is church. There were reasons, there always are, but what we saw as membership in our community also changed.

An opportunity was lost, passed on as a company focused more and more on marketing and agreeing with a broader ideology.

Our Grammar on the Go has a spot for Bible right along with science and Latin, which is also different from the Foundations guide. Bible was critical- essential- to our CC campus. It wasn't a separate and optional topic, it was required for Memory Master and all the kids knew it.

Sometimes things are looked at as good/better/best. That might be the case here.  Could there also be the question of Who is on the throne?

I want to raise discerning Christians who aren't gradually moved away from soundness without realizing it. I want them to ask who they are serving in all things, and not start out strong yet gradually shift away from orthodoxy.

My son is learning the old timeline this year. We do CC on our own, so we can do this if we want.  He knows the new one and all the dates and such--it is very good and thorough, but instead of worrying about a 15 minute song, we're chanting a little timeline we still know and love and it starts simply with Creation, The Fall in the Garden, Cain and Abel, The Flood, Tower of Babel...and it feels like we're going home.

He's also got this cycle's Bible as part of his required learning, Ephesians 6:1-24. It isn't competing with other Bible programs we're doing at church or here at home. It is coming alongside and showing that Bible matters as part of our core memory work.

In shaping minds for Christ, why should we ever pass on glorifying God?

School 2016-2017

Boys do things like switch to Airplane Mode in the middle of online classes. Planes are fun, right?

6th grade is a great time to ramp up school responsibilities, so we embark on 2 online classes and a schedule that is mapped out but not rigid. This way my student has to think about how much time he needs to get homework in for his classes...is a 30 min time slot enough, or should he really plan for an hour? What works better? Doing the reading assignment at the same time as the worksheet (which will take longer) may work, or is better to read and then later do the comprehension questions?

Time management. It is so critical to start teaching this before middle school. By high school, I want students who are fully able to manage their time and schedule.

I am enjoying a few slots of down time in my schedule which are allowing me the ability to make lunch or dinner early.

Today we had a soup for lunch. One of my students has a cold, so this seemed a good way to go!

From the freezer: collards, rice, turkey broth, red beans

Fresh: sauteed 1/2 onion, 5 cloves garlic, dehydrated carrots in enameled cast iron till browned nicely. Added in all items from the freezer which deglazed the pot. Seasoned with salt, pepper, turmeric, few dashes of Worcestershire sauce. Simmered with a lid on for 45 mins and lunch was ready when the students were, plus we have left overs for tomorrow!!

Summer Fun

We had a delightful, fun-filled summer! I've been working on making a list so I don't forget. :)

My kids are growing fast and our free summers are fleeting. I got a glimpse of this reality this summer as my oldest started volunteering at the library. Before long she will be working during the summer.

We had lots of things we had to do this summer, but we also fit in tons of activities that have been on Mom's list! Here are a few pictures:

impending storm at Solomon's Island

UVA

Liberty University

the dog we fostered, Azalea

my daughter turned 13 and was sent beautiful flowers from my sisters

my cousin married!!!

Here are some fun things we've done:

• kayaking several times
• fossil hunting (found teeth from 3 different sharks)
• went to Solomon's, MD and had excellent ice cream, key lime pie and toured the museum and light house (came home with more 'found' shark teeth!). Saw a wild otter swimming close by and picked wild apples to eat!
• spent a week at Massanutten and enjoyed grandparents being there for the first time
• toured a beautiful lavender farm and came home to plant a new variety
• planted a garden and have enjoyed the bounty
• went to the pool and enjoyed taking more than 20 guests 
• caught up with 2 old friends and was blessed with lunch and a long visit at each of their homes
• my son started fencing
• bought a new laptop in preparation for school and it is our first TOUCHSCREEN woo hoo!
• went to Fairview Beach finally and realized we don't need to go back
• looked at Aquia Harbor and saw 3 huge dead fish, stinky stink!
• on 7-11's free Slurpee day my oldest, a good friend, and I got Slurpees in THREE different states! It was a crazy and fun ride!
• I started volunteering with the humane society through puppy snuggling
• fostered a dog from the humane society for a week who killed one of our chickens
• visited Colonial Beach finally and went back numerous times!
• had a great time at the new Yoder's Country Market for lunch, shopping and animal visiting
• hiked the Canal Trail together as a family for the first time
• went fishing a few times with my son early in the summer
• spent a week in Ocean City
• learned about crabbing from a seasoned pro while on vacation
• husband and son caught 26 fish on the fishing trip they took! son saw a wild sea horse
• oldest daughter spent a week at camp and had a wonderful time
• walked around Bob Jones' campus and toured Greenville
• attended a bridal shower and wedding in MD for my sweet cousin
• attended a baby shower for my other sweet cousin
• was blessed with a successful 'Gotcha Day' shower for friends at church
• attended a sweet 4th of July party in PA at my sister's
• did an overnight trip to Lynchburg and Nellysford, VA to see friends of my daughters' and me
• drove around Liberty University's campus for the first time
• walked around UVA and stood in on a tour we happened upon 
• participated in a really great Bible study at my friend's church
• I rearranged the family room to create a sewing area for my middle girl and found a spot for her new 30 gallon fish tank
• bought a new puppy!! (see post below for a pic!)

my son's garden

I made pickles and relish from his bounty of cucumbers!

Colonial Beach fishing day

crane at Colonial Beach

the family room

First Day of Co-op 2016-2017

I'd love to share a photo of my brood from the first day of co-op, but I don't like how images are stored forever online. I've even deleted my Linkedin picture due to this. It doesn't matter if something is marked as private, it turns up on Google when you look for it :(.

That said, I CAN share a picture of our new family member, who we started with the first day of co-op this year. She wasn't ours until the evening of Aug 23rd though, the next day.




This is Misty, our sweet new Labrotti puppy! She looks very much like a black lab except the shape of her muzzle and the thickness of her coat is different. Her father was a chocolate lab and her mother a LARGE rottweiler named Ginger :).

We thought a school year that is pretty packed should also include the joys of puppy life, especially since it was days before we left for a week of vacation! Clearly Mom has had room for new challenges and excitement. It is neat to be back in a mode much like early childhood training, and is helping me equip my kids with important lessons on how to train to train a dog, and children. There are some similarities when it comes to consistency, patience, being clear, and working toward the end you want to see achieved!

Appreciation

I walked out in my backyard today, looking over to where the bunny's live, then at the chicken area, and finally at the garden my son planted. The tetherball was in my peripheral vision, and I thought hard about what my yard will look like one day down the road. We've already talked about removing the play yard to make room for other ventures more suited to an older family. The thought is bittersweet, but the days are long gone where my children fit on the swings comfortably.

One day my yard will be far emptier. No child will come out to pet bunnies or gather eggs. None will pick the veggies they proudly grew. My house will not always have someone playing piano or entering a room I'd hoped to be alone in for a few minutes.

It has already gone so fast, but before it is all over, I want to smile more, appreciate more, be thankful more, for the blessing of being here all day with my 3 precious children.

Age of Awareness

There is a sad reality that hits every young person, the age where they notice their body shape and compare it to other people. As a Christian mom, this is a day of heart-break. Your child, typically a girl, comments on something you've noticed (because let's face it, we all understand vanity) and hope she never does. But, maturity brings with it eyes that see things a young child doesn't see.

It just pains me that my girls wouldn't think they are 100% perfect physically. It is a challenge to my own heart in answering certain questions--honesty is a must, but so is taking the opportunity to teach Biblical truth and give wise counsel. The truth of life is that we need to be healthy, as healthy as we reasonably can be, and yes, extra weight or eating poorly really does need to be addressed...but it's so important to be careful in our word choices. I don't want to lie to my children and tell them being fearfully and wonderfully  made is a pass to live like a glutton and be physically lazy. How can we serve the Lord if we're taking this body for granted? I cringe to say that though because there is such a craze right now of running 'halfs' or marathons...the idol of physical fitness lurks beyond many a Krispy Kreme case, beckoning us to jump on board if we are not inclined to bask in the sugary-fluff of a donut. So-called Christian yoga is yet another trap ensnaring the unwise; we're told it's just a form of stretching and a safe way to get in shape. Mentioning being healthy means teaching our kids to be discerning and wise on many fronts.

Navigating these issues in the sin-riddled world we're in is not easy. I really want to walk the line in a balanced manner. Realities of life are that those with slower metabolisms often want to be more sedentary, so gaining extra pounds is not difficult. Likewise, those with faster metabolisms are usually bundles of energy and can eat whatever they want. I'm thankful God allowed me to have an injury that ended any running in my life because were it not for that, I'd surely still be able to eat whatever I want, confusing thinness for health. What a mistake!

Mom's let us work hard to take care of the body God has given us, not only as a gift to our husbands, but as a gift to our daughters and sons--an example of thankfulness, balance and wise (sometimes self-sacrificing) choices. It will ultimately be a gift to God if we feel well enough to serve Him as we also serve our families tirelessly. I want to be a woman whose family rises up and calls her blessed!

Either, Or?

When talking about homeschooling and academics, I get a little squeamish when the discussion goes toward the issue of spiritual condition of students vs. academics.

The premise of this is what needs to be focused on. Why should this issue ever be an either/or?

I wish I'd learn to ask people, mothers--because fathers never suggest this...

Is God glorified through ignorance?

Can our Christian witness be helped or hurt by how we teach our kids?

I don't think we should ever get to a point of compromising our children's spiritual well being for academics, nor do I think we should excuse not challenging our children to their fullest potential out of a superficial high mindedness that ignorance is acceptable as long as our kids are godly.

As parents we have an obligation to educate our children to their fullest potential. God gifts each person differently, and the home educating parent can best determine what their child's potential is. Will we win the lost better if we cannot communicate with them or defend the truth scientifically? We may reach a certain sect, but we certainly will not reach others if that is our strategy.

I suggest following God's lead on how we teach our children, making sure to exceed the world's standards as much as possible, particularly being sensitive to how God has wired our students. All too often homeschooling mothers hide behind their own failure with comments about preferring their children to be godly rather than not, as if academic excellence is evil. 

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Have you ever wanted to be friends with someone, and they seem to genuinely like you, but they never seem to make seeing you a priority?

Here are some examples:

-You invite them to a party and they go do something else, forgetting they said they'd come.
-You plan a visit with the family and they send a key person to someone else's house for that day and have to reschedule.
-Perhaps it is a play date with one of your kids and they always cancel or reschedule.
-You find yourself initiating the vast majority of get-togethers

It is good to try to give the benefit of doubt assuming they are busy, or trying to understand if they struggle in general with planning. However, sometimes it is discovered the other party somehow manages to coordinate with other people, and that can cause us to really give pause.

You may have assumed someone was doing things with other people, but then find out they were going through a difficult time and were actually just home working through some problems.

I've dealt with both scenarios during the last 10 years, and is strange to me since I don't treat others like this.

What do you do in these situations?

I can tell you that when this happens, it might be you are simply wasting your time on the wrong people or relationships. It might be the people just don't feel a connection with you, or they like your kids but not you particularly. They may be driven by helping others so put aside people who they perceive as not needing their help. Whatever it is, after years of this treatment, we've all got to assess the situation and decide what we can live with.

Several times I've thought I'd just write off someone because of this. But then I just try again when it involves friendships for my children.

What I've been seeing is that God is providing without the people who are unreliable or who I've been unsuccessful connecting with.

Don't get upset when people can't be counted on, just pray for God to provide for your needs and the needs of your children.

The other day someone gave me back materials they said they wanted to borrow. I could have been disappointed that they never used them and were just coming in to a time of being able to use the stuff, but instead I happily took them back. You know what happened? Literally the next day or so I received a text from someone asking if I had a book by the author of the program I'd just been given back. Not only did I have the book, but the an entire series to help them. What a joy to help someone who genuinely wanted it!

I hope you will find encouragement in God's provision. There are always friends to be had.

Parental Rights Vote on Friday

Hearing Friday on Parental Rights

Dear HSLDA Members and Friends: On Friday, April 29, the Senate Judiciary Committee will hear H.B. 1471, a parental rights bill. We need you to contact committee members in support of this important bill. House Bill 1471 recognizes that parents have the natural right to control the health, education, and welfare of their children in state law. It will be heard in the Senate Judiciary Committee on Friday, April 29, at 2:45 p.m. in Room 100. Please contact committee members in support of H.B. 1471 and attend the hearing if possible.

Action Requested Because this bill affects all citizens in New Hampshire, it is not necessary that you identify yourself as a homeschooling parent. For H.B. 1471 please give the members of the committee the following message in your own words. “I am calling to ask you to support the House Bill 1471, which would explicitly recognize parental rights in state law as fundamental and better safeguard parents and their children. Parents have a right to direct the upbringing of their children, and there should be a high standard before the government can interfere with a family. Parental rights are a cornerstone of a healthy society, and recognizing these rights specifically and explicitly is vital to support for strong families and the state of New Hampshire. Please support H.B. 1471.” Contact members of the Judiciary Committee using the following contact information: Sharon Carson, Chair, R-Londonderry (603) 271-1403    sharon.carson@leg.state.nh.us Sam Cataldo, Vice-Chair, R-Farmington (603) 271-4063    sam.cataldo@leg.state.nh.us Bette Lasky, D-Nashua (603) 271-3091    bette.lasky@leg.state.nh.us David Pierce, D-Lebanon (603) 271-3067    david.pierce@leg.state.nh.us Gary Daniels , R-Milford (603) 271-3042    gary.daniels@leg.state.nh.us

Background H.B. 1471 is part of a national movement to recognize that parents need specific protections from increasing intrusion by government agents into the family. HSLDA recognizes the need for the government to protect children where evidence has shown that they are or will very likely be abused or neglected. However, we have also seen abuses in the system. We are concerned that government agents do not always appropriately respect the important and fundamental role of parents in our society. The case of Justina Pelletier in Massachusetts is just one example that shows that even well-meaning bureaucratic systems can produce catastrophic consequences for vulnerable families and their children. Sincerely,

Michael P. Donnelly, Esq. Staff Attorney

PS: We greatly value you and your support—it is a privilege to serve you! If you or someone you know is not a member of HSLDA, will you consider taking a moment today to join or recommend us? Your support for our work enables us to defend individual families and protect homeschooling freedom for all.

Thanks be to God

Tonight is a night of giving thanks and rejoicing. After an appointment with a doctor for one of my beloveds, there could have been sadness, fear and heartache...and more appointments. But instead God has granted us more time to live with a bit of ease; this child is being spared what some are not spared. We were able to leave the office after an hour-there was a new baby there for hours today. I'm certain his prognosis was not as easy as ours, and for that I'm grieved. His older sister, all of 3, happily played with the toys in the waiting room. He, too small to roll over, is dealing with things we wish no child would have to deal with and I hope he will be able to outgrow. 

It is amazing how fast our lives can change. We recently were going along with everything seeming pretty status quo, and within 2 consecutive days, the story line changed a little. A routine appointment for me is leading to another specialist that I can see the same day and time our youngest finds out if he has an eye disease. It is very unlikely he does, but until we get that confirmation, it is on the heart as a concern. 

God doesn't let us go. What I've seen this last week is the love and care He shows through friends. One brought us dinner tonight, which is such a sacrifice  knowing she has her own family to provide for. It is a comfort that works in a special way, nourishing us all and providing a beautiful example of love and care. I'm amazed at how touching receiving a meal is when I'm tired, or my house is a mess, or the week is stressful and full of concern or worry. 

Thank you, God, for making it so our night wasn't full of new anxiety and fretting. 

We are so grateful

Watching Others' Make Bad Decisions

When you are a Bible believing Christian, it happens that you sometimes see people making decisions that go against God's design, which you know will not turn out well. The fruit hoped for just won't happen. Sadly the decisions can start to show they aren't working long before the 'end' of the matter arrives, and what can you do?

You can't offer any advice when it isn't asked for, that is for sure! You certainly can't try to change the minds of those doing things upside down or inside out if they do not want to change or hear your opinion. 

As a believer, you can do what God has ultimately called you to do--be obedient to Him. He puts us in the families we're in, the neighborhoods we're in, the jobs we're in, the churches we're in etc. and He has a plan and a purpose we may not understand. Our job is to be obedient and trust Him to use us according to His good pleasure.  We may never see any results or fruit, but that doesn't mean we've failed. 

Some plant, others water, others harvest. Just live for God, serve Christ, and leave the rest up to Him. 

Child Rearing 101

A pitfall of raising children when things get difficult is to turn on the other parent as the problem rather than evaluate the situation empirically. Too often I see parents not raising their children effectively, and understandably, they get tired. The solution, they think, is to get more time away from their kids, but in reality, they need more time with their kids so they fix the behavior problems.

Training children to sit still, for example, is something I see newer parents today avoiding. They don't realize that nearly all children have to be forced to sit still for periods of time; it is a learned behavior that will require discipline. Discipline is something parents today often lack an understanding of. Biblical discipline is the right way to go. Spanking works, and it works well. The logic and 'wisdom' of man falls woefully short of God's perfect direction, and it is evident in how children respond to instruction and correction. How my heart breaks for kids whose parents do not love them enough to effectively train them as God has instructed. Everyone suffers, and parents do not enjoy parenting as much as they could.

Another area I see parents often failing in today is teaching their children to be respectful of those around them. Children are allowed to run around restaurants, talk over grown-ups trying to have a conversation nearby, and in general, be the center of attention at all costs. Mom and Dad don't teach them to be quiet, ever, and they fail to see how their offspring act worse when the attention isn't on them. There is manipulation and passive aggressive tendencies being formed, and no one seems to care. Take notice, parents, if when you try to have adult conversations your child starts to get in to something they know they aren't supposed to get into.

Expecting first-time obedience, with a cheerful attitude, is an attainable and desirable goal. Why should you tell your child more than once to stop doing something? They understood you the first time, right? Then they should move their little selves and do what you said. If they know you mean business every time, then they will obey quickly, every time. If you don't think this reality will make you enjoy parenting more, you are sadly mistaken!

I hope that if you are raising young children, you'll take time to think about this. I don't know you. I don't know your kids. I'm just someone writing who enjoyed my children when they were young. It was tiring, but not like the tired I see around me now, and my kids weren't annoying to be around. They knew their place, especially among adults, and they knew how to 'go play' when told to do so.

A Letter to MB

Dear M. B. :)

You know I've been enjoying sending letters and such through our good old US Post Office, however, I'm mixing it up and sending a letter via my blog. It seemed more fun than just a regular email. Plus, I've not updated my blog in ages. Just hasn't been a priority given the limited time I get on the computer. It is funny, the less I'm on the computer, the less I miss it :). 

Anyway, we just adored the pictures the boys drew and sent in your last note! It is so precious to see their work, and you are so creative using that graph paper. What a cool Mom! 

I've been thinking lately how some people say there is not a manual on how to raise kids, so they just wing it. I've never liked that statement because there is a ton of good information on how to raise children out there. In cleaning out (which you know I've been working on), I came across materials from 4 different parenting courses we took. Not all were joint, but I think 3 were actually. We have God's word, which of course is the best manual out there and really all we need. 

That said, what has occurred to me recently is that there is NOT a manual or even any notice given when our kids will suddenly be done with something they once treasured. There isn't any notice given when, "Hey, do you guys want to head to the park?!" is never to be uttered again. When children are small, it seems that the park days will never end--free and fun--they fill so much time when school work is able to be easily pushed aside. 

I don't know that I wish I'd realized the last time we went to the park would be 'the' last time, or when D snuggled 'Cutey Pie Honey Pie Bunny' one night it would not be repeated ever again...or that last time I saw my girls playing Barbies would be 'it'. But I also don't know that I wouldn't have wanted to know. The reality is, so very many things we did together or which they did together are pages in closed chapters. 

We have spent so much time together as a family: educating, cleaning, cooking, training...it is such a busy time, rearing obedient children who you are also discipling to love their Maker. I don't think I was ever good at playing, unless we were outside. I was more of a facilitator of the fun, and enjoyed watching them live and grow together. While I don't want to go back and do it all over, I sure do miss those days, if that makes sense.

We've recently had a tough experience with our orthodontist, who we carefully chose, making a mistake and permanently damaging one of our oldest's teeth. Her dental plan was complex because of missing a front permanent tooth and having a peg lateral, so we went with this doctor because his plan meant not having something to deal with for the rest of her life, like a crown or a fake tooth (implant). Now we've still got to deal with something, praying it will desensitize so a life-long issue isn't going to have to occur. It has revealed a weakness in me that has been hard to take. I'm seeing that the personality trait which dealt with crossing all the t's and dotting all the i's as my kids grew, is one that comes off the rails when someone's carelessness damages my kids. It is a control issue on the surface, but a lack of trusting in God's sovereignty. I worked so hard to be as perfect as possible when my kids were growing--to create the exact upbringing we believed in, and now that the kids are older, and HAVE to experience life for themselves, I HAVE to learn to let failure impact them. Not just their own, which has been easier, but man, the mistakes of others harming them in ways that can't be remedied, or them making decisions that cause hard consequences....basically when life takes a course that I can't fix for them, I struggle. 

And yet today there was a funeral for a 9 yr old at church who suddenly came down with cancer, and his family knew he could not survive it based on what it was. And they will have to keep on going. They have other children to raise, small children. We just learned they live in our neighborhood...the diagnosis was not even a year ago.

Just seeing our weakness and knowing that God has given us an area to grow through doesn't make it happen immediately, ya know? 

I'm just sharing with you because you are so devoted to your kids, and their growth, and education...and your family. I know you desire excellence. 

I never knew how hard the letting go would be, nor how much my 'faith' was wrapped up in success or goals successfully carried out. I admit that even as a Bible believing Christian, I don't know how well I'd do if I were in the situation of this dear family who has said goodbye all too soon. I'd hope that peace that passes all understanding would take passionate hold...

On a happier note, the older people our kids grow in to are so enjoyable. One reason I wouldn't want to go back is because I wouldn't have them here now, and I love and like them. 

It is just an interesting phase of life to be in our 40's, unable to tell how old anyone is anymore that is over 16 yrs of age, pushing Jeff's arm out farther away from me when he holds the hymnal b/c I'm obviously adding some farsightedness to my nearsightedness, talking to our oldest about driving and preparing to celebrate our youngest's 11th birthday. Birth, nursing, diapers, car seats, Thomas the Train, Princesses, gliders with footrests, even having a normal monthly cycle are all things of the past that seemed like they'd be around forever. And they are gone, without much notice or with none. 

Cherish those sweet boys. Hug their smallness tightly and enjoy bathing them and letting them sleep in your bed. Before long they'll be too big, or they'll not feel comfortable doing so because they are young men...parenting is the greatest blessing, full of the richness and fullness of life, but each phase fools us in thinking it will last longer than it does. 

Thank you again for the pictures and the sweet memories they stirred up.

Much love,

Scam in Fredericksburg or Something Else?

Over the summer a local bookstore owner sold her shop to a new lady in town, and urged us all to donate to help this new gal out. Being friends, Christians, and homeschoolers who want a local store carrying used curricula, many of us pitched in--I far moreso than I would normally have done. I took 100 items over to the new resale shop. The deal was that I'd get half of what sold--simple book consignment. Since I contribute to our monthly budget nearly every month, it was a worthwhile venture even though I generally focus on selling skin care/cosmetics and ebaying.

Whenever I stopped by the store, however, it was closed more than half the time. No sign, no notice, just closed. Hard for folks to shop when a store is unreliable.

Fast forward from Oct to Dec and I had a balance and was told the check would be mailed to me. The end of Dec came, and no check. In January word got out that the store was closing and we only found out because a friend of mine stopped in and found everything boxed up. Here it is February and I've not heard back from the owner about my books or money even though I've emailed her numerous times.

It turns out I am not alone in this experience. It is appearing as though a scam artist came in to town, took advantage of some gullible Christians, and moved on. She may have been overwhelmed with the store and closed, or she may have planned this. Who can know for sure? She has remained silent. I'm the type to try to give the benefit of doubt, but we've all had hard times and in this era of internet and cell phones, reaching out is not difficult. Not reaching out is intentional.


As Christians we're to be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves, and in this case, many of us were not shrewd.

The consignors are owed an explanation and the opportunity to get their materials back. The silence has gone beyond "we made a mistake in buying the shop and are in financial trouble". It now appears that dishonestly is in play and people have been taken advantage of. Most people in this town would understand a poor business decision, hardship, marital trouble or the like, but we should have been told us what was going on with our items and the store. The items were not damaged or stolen by a thief who broke in the store. In good conscious, we all should have been given the opportunity to retrieve our materials because the store owner did not uphold her end of the deal, which was to provide a venue and reasonable time for the items to sell.

My guess is that most of the families who brought their items to the shop needed the money, yet by now they probably would just appreciate honesty and integrity more than cash or their books. But I am also willing to guess that is not the case for everybody.

You only get one chance to make a first impression, but that does not negate righting wrongs.

When Life Really Is Trying to Get You Down

There is so much to write about, but time and sleep deprivation limit me this night.

My dear friend hosted a beautiful party last night as a time for she and some close friends to come together before her major surgery that is quickly drawing nigh. What an eye opening experience of something I would not have thought to do if I were in her shoes, but wow, so needed and helpful. It gave us all a chance to meet (her support team), have some laughs, pray over her together, get boosted up in this fight we're starting together, eat, cry and let go...because cancer and health problems require all those things.

When I was younger, major health struggles were within my family. We pulled together to care for our dying mother. The couple of months we had together in that difficult time of little hope for a sustained life stretched each of us. My fledgling Christianity was put to a mighty test, but God did what He does and saw me through. My mother died, but God remained on the throne and still offered the hope and peace that only He can give. 

Fast forward 19 years and I've had an acquaintance pass from cancer, but never a bosom friend, not only to me, but a mother that has greatly influenced my oldest daughter. Her best friend is walking the path of a teenager whose mom has cancer, and my girl is walking the path of support giver to someone she loves. We are growing and being stretched, my girl and I. I think my longing to just take the pain and difficulty have been passed to the next generation. I'm grateful for a friend who reminds me that this isn't anyone else's path to trod. We have our marching orders, she has hers. That is tough for me. I hate seeing those I love suffer, but I believe that we are to be made like Christ, and this friend of mine has had opportunities rare to most to be like Him in suffering. From fertility struggles that amounted to numerous losses, a hemorrhaging that took her only child's twin and resulted in an emergency c-section, a baby born with an apgar of 0, depression struggles, double mastectomy surgery scheduled with a total hysterectomy and finding out about a heart problem just prior...so much hanging over her, yet her positive attitude of trust in her Savior are steadfast. And I don't think it is that she will definitely be OK in the earthly sense, I think it is the bigger picture, that she knows where she is ultimately going and has a promise from the King of Kings and Lord of Lords that she is HIS, and He WILL see her through this.

I need that promise. I need to know that my God sees what we're all struggling with right now. In this last year I've had some significant heart ache. Not everyone lets us love them. Not everyone has time for us or can be trusted with our true self. In my distress, God opened a door for a deeper friendship with this pal of mine who has cancer. She listened and understood my distress, and she let me in.

Friends are who often walk our hardest paths when we are older. We've moved away from family. We've found 'family' in our community, our church, through friendships. It is so different than what it was when my mom was sick, and yet, those memories and feelings have flooded my mind and heart today.

I don't want to say goodbye and I'm believing that we're not going to be saying anything of the sort any time soon.


3D mammograms--they are worth the extra money you have to pay.

Eph 3:14-21

¹⁴ For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, ¹⁵ from whom ^[a]every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, ¹⁶ that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the ^[b]saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹ and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
²⁰ Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, ²¹ to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations ^[c]forever and ever. Amen.

Brian Regan

If you need a laugh, look up Brian Regan. He has to be one of the best, if not the best, stand up comedians of our day. The jokes are quite clean, with only the occasional mild swear word incorporated.

We speak English. We delivery. :)