I'm Sorry I Ruined Your Life!!

Finishing 181 handwritten Christmas cards with stickers on each one (up to 3!) warrants a reward. Mine is taking a few minutes to write this blog post that has been milling around in my mind for several weeks. Did the title catch your eye?

This post is going to be making two different points but both relate to the title. 

Point 1:

Someone tells you that decisions you made, which directly impacted them, ruined their life. Maybe not ruined, but negatively impacted them and they blame you. You failed them.

How do you respond? What do you think? 

I'll start by saying what not to do if you actually care to reconcile (which you may not, but if you do, read on). Do not invalidate the claim. You can't change someone else's perspective. You can explain why you disagree, but also point out that you understand they see it differently, then go on to point out the issue at hand is this: are they going to forgive you and move forward, or is this now going to define the relationship forever? I'd also be sure to point out that everyone is "failed" by others at some point in time and we ALL have to reveal the character we have, or do not have, in how we forgive and move forward. If Christians are involved, realize no believer can live in a state of unforgiveness. Refusing to reconcile is a serious decision. Forgiveness doesn't necessitate reconciliation, but it should make a believer really weigh out if their scenario can truly stand on NOT reconciling. 

NUTSHELL: "So, I wronged you. You found out that Basket Weaving Club existed when you were too old to join...and you always longed to be in a group that did that...I'm sorry, please forgive me. I didn't think it was the right group for you. I'm sure if you are determined now, you can learn to weave baskets. Remember the Lord has a plan for your life and He is interested in using all the aspects of your life to grow you to look more like Jesus. I'm certain any failings I've caused you can be used for good with God involved if you are submitted to Him."

Point 2:

Someone you know has a weird hang-up about something that is really not on your radar screen. In your view, it is either wrong or just super odd. How much do you try to accommodate this? I'd say that you do what you can to be at peace with all men and not rile someone up unnecessarily, but we do not need to make another person's obsession or hang-up OUR obsession or hang-up. "As far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Romans 12:18 Then there is the whole 'weaker brother' argument. When dealing with fellow Christians, if they can't eat meat without a guilty conscience, maybe refrain when with them one on one if you can?? Would it kill you? 

NUTSHELL, full of opinion: All of your Christmas cards feature a woodland animal and you've got a friend who just can't stand them. He was scratched by a squirrel once and needed rabies shots... and your card has a nature scene. You are at the end of your stack and no more cards. Dilemma: Do you NOT send a card, or just send what everyone is getting and trust your friend can handle the nature scene? It is your call. I'd say send the card. You didn't plan to upset the friend, but you have already done the other 180 cards and it is the 11th hour. Or don't send it, but then you are letting a ridiculous viewpoint carry the weight and reinforcing an overinflated reaction. To have purposefully bought a woodland scene card would have been wrong, but it was an oversight. Obviously this requires some thought: the seriousness of the situation is a factor and if the relationship can handle your choice. 

Time to stop before I move on to: "How To Cope With Overly Sensitive People"  or "Living Amidst Passive Aggressiveness: To Care or Not to Care?"

This wraps up today's edition of I'm Sorry I Ruined Your Life!