There are situations that God allows us to be in which take us to our ends...our wits' end, the end of our patience, the end of our mercy and grace, the end of our understanding. Situations that frustrate us to no end, and which torment us because we want to be gracious and kind, but the offense to our Lord is too great. The offense is more than should be borne. And yet, when others' do not know the story, we must rely on God alone to carry us through. For many years this was a story for us, and it wasn't until the 11th hour that I began to seek help in prayer from trusted, mature, Christian women. In times, as the end drew nigh, and my strength and resilience were at the brink of failure, my soul poured forth it's anguish. At times we struggle to pray because the challenges are great, and it is by God's design that we need the fellowship of believers to be fellows in our suffering. We bear one another's burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ.
This might be one of the only times in my life where I see us having lived through something of biblical proportion. Picturing how it would be written in the Holy text. How years of failure would be penned, how years of toil would be recorded, and then the swift victory and how that would be said. Many hours of pain, prayer, anguish, disbelief in what was happening, injustice, infuriating disappointment, love for His church, love for Him, love for the brethren...and pressing on and pressing on and pressing on. And it would be said in a sentence. Maybe two.
Our lives and the hours spent wrapped up neatly with, "And then he was gone." Just like that. Cain killed his brother Abel. But all the details in the midst we aren't told...and Enoch walked with God...but all the things we aren't privy to. And God slew him...and God smote him...and God's anger was kindled. Many day in and day out details are not said or known, but the high points where we see God's hand of power, God's direction of the destiny, stated. And we know all things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose. How humbling to be a part of history like that. God is too good and mysterious, and yet, He is known and wants us to know Him...those He called before the foundation of the earth was laid! How can it be?
Oh my King, how powerful You have shown Yourself to be! How great and mighty is Your hand! How you bring justice! Even when You do make it right, it is still painful as we're torn between sadness and joy. Why do we force Your mighty hand to act? When you answer our prayer to do what must be done because evil acts prevail and Your creation is suffering...why must it hurt to witness? You have wrought us as so frail we cannot handle Your justice without a mix of emotions. But God, I praise You for Your deliverance! My heart is so full and so fearful of Your just hand. We have seen Your salvation. We have seen You defend what is Yours. It is You who lifts up and puts down! How can my soul ever despair when men come and go as powers and kings? It cannot! You are too great! Too Sovereign! Too Almighty! My soul exalts the Lord who made Heaven and earth! You have done it! You have redeemed and freed, and cast down what must be cast down. You have seen, You have heard our cry. Be magnified Oh Lord in Your church! Be magnified in all the earth! We are but clay, mold us and make us, move us and use us for Your honor and good pleasure and glory ALONE. Now to Him who is ABLE to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all generations, Amen and amen!
How do we live our daily lives, making decisions, living and dying, building and tearing down, and all the while it is under the umbrella of your Sovereignty and perfect will? You are too great for me. Holy, HOLY, HOLY is the Lord God Almighty. I am Yours. Do with me what you will. Amen. Thank you, Father. You have saved us.
