In talking with the man of my dreams recently, it occurred to me that in a nutshell the reason we have such a nice relationship is that we are both people of action. We are not made of idleness, excuses, or laziness. We don't procrastinate. We want to achieve what we want to achieve, and we work pretty consistently to accomplish those goals--independently or interdependently, we're workers.
For this reason, we respect each other.
I see couples who are not on the same page, or who fail to simply recognize they are very much like who they married. When they don't like their own choices, they criticize the person they are married to, who happens to be very much like them. By very much like them, I don't mean with personality, introvertedness/extrovertedness, or hobbies per se. I mean the core aspect of WHO they are and how they tackle, or don't tackle, life.
If you are lazy and married to a lazy person, own it, don't knock the other person's laziness. If you are a hypocrite and married to a hypocrite, own it. Realize, you'll both be lazy in different ways and hypocrites in different ways, but the core character trait is one in the same, so there really isn't room for being critical.
It is helpful when both husband and wife both draw from the same bedrock--Christ. It can make all the difference in the world, but even if just one of you is seeking to really live for God and please Him, He will work in that and bring blessings.
We live what we believe...all of us do. We can talk all sorts of talk, but what we really believe about family, marriage, parenting and education shows in our actions and choices.
My husband and I agree on the roles of men and women, we believe God is the final authority on all matters, and we both live what we believe, independent of one another. Being married, these things are quite interdependent as we manage our home and lives. The thing is, I'm going to follow God no matter what those around me are doing, to the best of my ability, and I know my husband will also do what he believes is right regardless of me. Thankfully, we both take 'to the best of our ability' pretty seriously. That idea governs who we are and the way we're raising our kids. There isn't room for excuses, because we each live what we believe, and we're rather serious people.
If you are married to someone you can't respect right now, don't give up. If what you believe differs from them, dig in and do the hard work. YOUR hard work. Do what you know is right and help your spouse by letting them see your good example.
If God is Lord of your life, you'll show it. If He isn't, people will know it, because we all live what we believe.
For this reason, we respect each other.
I see couples who are not on the same page, or who fail to simply recognize they are very much like who they married. When they don't like their own choices, they criticize the person they are married to, who happens to be very much like them. By very much like them, I don't mean with personality, introvertedness/extrovertedness, or hobbies per se. I mean the core aspect of WHO they are and how they tackle, or don't tackle, life.
If you are lazy and married to a lazy person, own it, don't knock the other person's laziness. If you are a hypocrite and married to a hypocrite, own it. Realize, you'll both be lazy in different ways and hypocrites in different ways, but the core character trait is one in the same, so there really isn't room for being critical.
It is helpful when both husband and wife both draw from the same bedrock--Christ. It can make all the difference in the world, but even if just one of you is seeking to really live for God and please Him, He will work in that and bring blessings.
We live what we believe...all of us do. We can talk all sorts of talk, but what we really believe about family, marriage, parenting and education shows in our actions and choices.
My husband and I agree on the roles of men and women, we believe God is the final authority on all matters, and we both live what we believe, independent of one another. Being married, these things are quite interdependent as we manage our home and lives. The thing is, I'm going to follow God no matter what those around me are doing, to the best of my ability, and I know my husband will also do what he believes is right regardless of me. Thankfully, we both take 'to the best of our ability' pretty seriously. That idea governs who we are and the way we're raising our kids. There isn't room for excuses, because we each live what we believe, and we're rather serious people.
If you are married to someone you can't respect right now, don't give up. If what you believe differs from them, dig in and do the hard work. YOUR hard work. Do what you know is right and help your spouse by letting them see your good example.
If God is Lord of your life, you'll show it. If He isn't, people will know it, because we all live what we believe.
