June 27, 2015

Welcome to A Common Life. I began here at Blogger many years ago, then took a hiatus to Wordpress.


Here are a few photos from a recent field trip we took with my Dad and step-mother to the Chatham House in Fredericksburg, VA.

Accountability Helps Students

Within homeschooling, it can be difficult to motivate some students. I was recently talking with a friend who left a certain program because the work was never graded or even thoroughly checked by the 'teacher'.

I've seen my children as well as friends' children powerfully motivated by the natural peer pressure that occurs in a classroom setting. A relationship with a teacher other than mom can also work wonders for some kids.

Do I sound anti-homeschooling? I am not. I am, however, glad to raise awareness that we as educating parents need to be open to what is going to help our students strive their hardest. Sure we may have started homeschooling with a vision of literally teaching every subject around a table to each of our beloved, obedient children with a backdrop of cleanliness, order and well-rounded, home cooked meals, but as children and mom age, a different formula is often needed.

Grades are important in high school in particular because they are part of the system or real life and college. We will succeed and fail at many things in life, and an honest assessment helps us be realistic about our abilities and the effort required to pass or excel. I don't know many adults who are motivated by merely doing a good job day in and day out. Most full-time homemakers and moms need some serious verbal praise and appreciation; and working Dads want to see money for their hard work. Why should we, or any program, expect students to be motivated by doing work that doesn't really reward their hard effort? It might work for some kids, but keeping an eye out for those it doesn't help may mean the difference between a difficult school journey and a pleasant one.

~Ann

Convictions and the Secure

I've noticed something that I'd like to write a bit about.

It is becoming apparent to me, at least on some fronts, that raising emotionally secure or confident children will greatly shape the course of their life when it comes to religious convictions. Of course, this won't be the case for all children who grow in to adults, but I think it is worthy to reflect on the likelihood of the opposite of this idea, which is that insecure people are often likely to do what is emotionally expedient in the course of religious pursuit.

Being raised in a man-made religion wrought with historical and current heresy, I see how the guilt and insecurity plays out in a life. If a person lacks a certain confidence, the likelihood of leaving a false religion is low. Not discounting of course the all- powerful work of the Holy Spirit, this confidence and security to step out in truth comes from God ultimately. What I have thought about is the importance of raising our children to be emotionally secure people, which happens when they are raised by the same. This trait is more caught than taught.

What are ways we demonstrate being confident, secure people to our children? How can we raise them to be confident and secure?

I think of things when my children were young such as using the playpen to show them they could be alone and quite content. Mommy would be back in a short time; they learned this through careful planning and work. They spent a few minutes in the playpen with toys, and when they were finished, I was there to happily greet them and do something else with them. Each day we built the time up so they would eventually enjoy 20-30 minutes alone and secure, confidently playing and being master of their own little domain.

If we as parents are secure and confident in our relationships, our children will witness this. How do we feel toward our spouse? Do we trust him and is this demonstrated? Don't think for a moment kids don't see a wife who is paranoid her husband is being unfaithful in some area. They pick up on all the subtle cues of a worried wife. We can inadvertently teach our kids not to trust those close to them so they are not comfortable being alone or being apart from their loved ones.

What about friendships? Do we put unreasonable expectations on others, continually feeling we are being wronged or that we are giving more than we are getting? Do we judge the actions' of others, seeking to justify or condemn behaviors having us come out as the martyr? Children see this and will learn to be passive aggressive or manipulative. They may also learn simply to make man an idol and spend far too many hours worrying if people like them. This is insecurity.

These manifestations of insecurity can become idolatry. Anything keeping us from the truth of God is not what God wants for us. How can we be people of conviction, willing to have others withhold love or intimacy, if we are living in the fear of man in one way or another? The answer is, we cannot.

Anyone who has truly left a false religion of their upbringing has sadly come face to face with this scenario. I write because no matter how long it has been since the break from tradition and family ways, Satan will find ways to prey on our weaknesses and our own insecurities that sometimes arise. We must crucify our flesh and give the enemy no footing.

So what if we are left a little out of the loop? What fellowship does light have with darkness?

What if we are expected to go to greater lengths than anyone else would go to? Do we aim to seek men or God?

Does the closeness we perceive in those who are like-minded yet wrong trump the peace that passes ALL understanding? Do those who lack the daily forgiveness and fellowship with the Savior have something we don't have? Is there yet a better way?

There is no better way than following the Bible, the truth of God's word. We cannot go against conscience when we align with God's truth. May God be right and every man found in error, and may we have the confidence to stand secure in Scripture regardless of what we experience. God will provide all of our needs.

6/20/2015

Day 1 of HEAV Convention 2015!

Great times! The Convention did not disappoint this year, though the news that Voddie Baucham and family are leaving the States was not the happiest. He brought a compelling and encouraging key note address Friday morning that I hope to get to listen to again. Voddie is a man of God who is not afraid to speak the truth, and God has gifted him in ways that make it palatable. Ken Ham is always a blessing. It saddens me to see him looking so thin and older, but he has not wavered on his message of truth either--which is God's same message. It is apparent the sin of our day seems to be weighing on us all more, so being with many like-minded Christians was in and of itself an encouragement at Convention.

If you missed the HEAV Convention or are not a member of the group, I hope you'll reconsider for next year. It is an organization we are mightily blessed to have here in Virginia.

I've linked to a post that has some nice pictures and another write up about the Convention this year.

God bless your homeschooling efforts!

~Ann