It is becoming apparent to me, at least on some fronts, that raising emotionally secure or confident children will greatly shape the course of their life when it comes to religious convictions. Of course, this won't be the case for all children who grow in to adults, but I think it is worthy to reflect on the likelihood of the opposite of this idea, which is that insecure people are often likely to do what is emotionally expedient in the course of religious pursuit.
Being raised in a man-made religion wrought with historical and current heresy, I see how the guilt and insecurity plays out in a life. If a person lacks a certain confidence, the likelihood of leaving a false religion is low. Not discounting of course the all- powerful work of the Holy Spirit, this confidence and security to step out in truth comes from God ultimately. What I have thought about is the importance of raising our children to be emotionally secure people, which happens when they are raised by the same. This trait is more caught than taught.
What are ways we demonstrate being confident, secure people to our children? How can we raise them to be confident and secure?
I think of things when my children were young such as using the playpen to show them they could be alone and quite content. Mommy would be back in a short time; they learned this through careful planning and work. They spent a few minutes in the playpen with toys, and when they were finished, I was there to happily greet them and do something else with them. Each day we built the time up so they would eventually enjoy 20-30 minutes alone and secure, confidently playing and being master of their own little domain.
If we as parents are secure and confident in our relationships, our children will witness this. How do we feel toward our spouse? Do we trust him and is this demonstrated? Don't think for a moment kids don't see a wife who is paranoid her husband is being unfaithful in some area. They pick up on all the subtle cues of a worried wife. We can inadvertently teach our kids not to trust those close to them so they are not comfortable being alone or being apart from their loved ones.
What about friendships? Do we put unreasonable expectations on others, continually feeling we are being wronged or that we are giving more than we are getting? Do we judge the actions' of others, seeking to justify or condemn behaviors having us come out as the martyr? Children see this and will learn to be passive aggressive or manipulative. They may also learn simply to make man an idol and spend far too many hours worrying if people like them. This is insecurity.
These manifestations of insecurity can become idolatry. Anything keeping us from the truth of God is not what God wants for us. How can we be people of conviction, willing to have others withhold love or intimacy, if we are living in the fear of man in one way or another? The answer is, we cannot.
Anyone who has truly left a false religion of their upbringing has sadly come face to face with this scenario. I write because no matter how long it has been since the break from tradition and family ways, Satan will find ways to prey on our weaknesses and our own insecurities that sometimes arise. We must crucify our flesh and give the enemy no footing.
So what if we are left a little out of the loop? What fellowship does light have with darkness?
What if we are expected to go to greater lengths than anyone else would go to? Do we aim to seek men or God?
Does the closeness we perceive in those who are like-minded yet wrong trump the peace that passes ALL understanding? Do those who lack the daily forgiveness and fellowship with the Savior have something we don't have? Is there yet a better way?
There is no better way than following the Bible, the truth of God's word. We cannot go against conscience when we align with God's truth. May God be right and every man found in error, and may we have the confidence to stand secure in Scripture regardless of what we experience. God will provide all of our needs.
6/20/2015
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