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When free time is available, we often want to relax...but does that really build us up as we need? Sometimes it does, but sometimes the time...

Family Routines

There is something connecting about having regular Family Nights. I didn't understand the value in them when we started our Friday night pizza night; the kids were quite young. Thankfully my husband understood and thus began the W family Friday Night Family Night. The kids do not like to miss it, though sometimes we have their friends join in. It is the one night we watch something together and we have special beverages: bought soda, iced tea, fresh lemonade, or homemade soda. It is a time to make sure the five of us are together relaxing and recapping our week or just that day. Friday's are our lighter school day since stopping CC, and this family time is essential. One thing I've observed and have not liked is how busy homeschooling life can be.  It seems the families we used to spend time with really grew apart as the kids reached middle school and high school, with everyone going in a different direction. If we aren't purposeful in how we spend time with our kids, we can end up like so many families we all see around us: the kids really are not close to one another and the family unit is not that important as high school approaches.

I've had parents tell me, for years, 'Just wait until your child reaches ____ age'. This was in reference to how they will be obsessed with certain music and musical bands, or how they will want to be with friends all the time. I had my doubts, but kept it in mind. This began back when my oldest was in 6th grade. It came from people I knew well and whose family life I didn't want to emulate exactly, even though we did spend a lot of time together and educated in a similar fashion. Here we are two years later, and what I have seen is that what parents expect is often what happens. How we encourage our kids to spend time, and the values we demonstrate, will be played out in their lives.

For some, being influenced by others and spending very little time together as 'just us' (meaning the core family) feels very fulfilling. It embraces the goals of the parents, and time with 'just us' feels empty. For others, the family unit and family values are what are tantamount. Other people joining the fold happens rarely. I think both approaches have their good and bad points. The main thing is to realize how you are living will impact your kids later, particularly the teen years. It is a shame to see parents lament that their kids never want to be home, and yet, they've always encourage a more outward/others focus.

Personalities surely come in to play, with everyone involved :).


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