Sermons to Exhort and Encourage

Pastor Darrin and John MacArthur do a tremendous amount of studying for the messages they prepare. Thankfully, these can be accessed by those of us who aren't in their churches. With today's technology, listening to sermons has never been easier. This is a sober truth that brings much comfort as we witness, time and again, to lost loved ones. At some point there is rest for the weary soul of the saved, knowing that it is God who draws and calls, and ultimately, people will do what they want to do. What they WANT to do...It isn't dependent on us doing everything right, tirelessly praying and reaching out, striving like mad to be a great example every time we interact...

These are dreadfully wicked days we're living in. The line of demarcation between righteousness and wickedness is becoming clearer and clearer, in ways that cannot be missed-even by those who are simply moral and yet unsaved. It is a good time to double down on being in the Word, listening to truth and being transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we do not lose heart while we continue to serve the Lord in whatever capacity He's given us.

Pastor Darrin recently finished up a little series entitled Family Matters, preached May 15th, 22nd and 29th. Worthwhile listening!

First Baptist of Wheeling is where all the sermons can be found.

John MacArthur cranks out messages like no one else. I've enjoyed 2 messages from Ephesians recently (June 12th The Perversion of Love and June 19th From Darkness to Light). 

Interestingly, Pastor Darrin's 2nd Family Matters message (May 22nd) is from Eph 5:22-24 and John MacArthur's From Darkness to Light is from Eph 5:8-14.

I hope you are encouraged if you tune in ♥

A special retirement gift given by 3 sweet kids to their faithful math teacher of many years...

Neglected Spouses

Something I've observed and have grown increasingly concerned about are older married couples who are not heading in the same direction. It seems that often after 25 years of marriage, give or take, people look at who they married and wish that person were different. Failing to observe that we often do not help our spouses cultivate qualities that would satisfy both them and us, the thought is for something new and fresh...someone else who has more excitement and vivacity perhaps! People will lay the blame in various places such as the fact they are unequally yoked, the husband has negative qualities he won't change, the wife isn't interested in listening/talking....it doesn't matter. The point is, all reasons can sound justified, but does that make any real difference?

The reality is that we marry people who bring things we need and want to the table, but who also bring what we do not want, but need. If we consume ourselves with careers, it can be easy to reach retirement and not really know the person we're bound to. We may not have much in common with them. This can be particularly dangerous if one spouse is retired and the other is not. 

Christians do not believe genders are interchangeable, so we must not act as if they are when it comes to this later-in-life dynamic. Women often identify more with the home and children, they often have numerous friends and hobbies. Men, however, get their worth and sense of meaning from their career as it provides for their wife and children. Who would seem to need help in navigating retirement more then? For wives who have chosen or had to go the career route, it does not mean things are just the same for them. While it is hard to identify with one thing more than another, we are called to help our husbands, bottom line. We are supposed to be keepers at home, so when the options exists, we ought to look closely at it.

Being a wife means self-sacrifice in a way that is different from a man. In the early years, both sexes sacrifice in very different ways (in a traditional Christian home setting). In the later years, this is also going to look different. Sometimes we need to give up what we want in order to be the helpmeet God has intended for us to be. 

I recall many years ago when visiting my friend whose mom was of Norwegian dissent. She was a gorgeous woman and her husband was a University President. I distinctly remember her saying how she worked to keep her mind sharp and interesting for her husband as they aged. 

Christian--whether you are a man or a woman, what do you need to cultivate in order to be appealing to your spouse? What needs to change? What do you need to give up in order to be there for your spouse in this new season? Do not be naïve and think neglecting your spouse is going to leave your hands clean. We are each responsible to tend our own garden, build up those we are bound to for life, and give up that which doesn't serve the team. 

Transitioning from Home

 

I remember when my daughters stopped playing with Barbie dolls. There wasn't a warning or a ceremonial ending; just one day, they stopped playing with them. It was the same with ballet lessons and Irish Step dancing, baby dolls, Legos and playing dress up. Suddenly the phases of childhood came to a halt without warning. I'm thankful that being a full time homemaker and homeschooling momma didn't end without warning. For years I knew it was going to come--well, at least the homeschooling part. It wasn't clear until a few years ago that working would be part of the equation for me so our kids could attend the colleges the Lord was leading them to. 

Studying Outdoor Recreation, one thing we learned was how the anticipation of a trip was a very large part of the enjoyment. Surprises are cool, but anticipating a trip is almost as important as the event. The percent escapes me now but it's possible it was a higher percent of the enjoyment than the actual trip....

Along that vein but exactly opposite, was my experience with the end of life as I'd known it as a homeschooling/homemaking mom. For a couple of years the anticipation was hard. There were tears and lots of uncertainty. I loved all the things that were a part of my life as a home educator and homeschooler. From the early days of breast feeding and cloth diapering to gardening and canning, incubating chickens, teaching my own kids, teaching other people's kids, learning to cook for various allergies and health needs, keeping a tidy home, educating for academics and spiritual growth, preparing home cooked meals--it was all a joyous challenge to work out until what I considered success was mastered. Days were full and my life was profoundly fulfilling. I couldn't imagine what it would be like after my work wasn't pouring into my kids and home day and night. There were times my heart felt broken and my purpose in life felt murky. Even as a Christian, I just wasn't sure how God would use me so that I'd feel my life had meaning. 

As always happens after a time of darkness, the sun comes up and God shows Himself so faithful. The little cleaning business I'd started when our kids were very much at home became the focal point. I went from 1 client to 0 when Covid started because my dear friend was put in an assisted living. For about 8 months I prayed and waited, and then a friend asked me about cleaning her house. When 8 months more had passed,  3 more people had taken me on. Four months after that the number grew and then suddenly 2 months later my number was 8 clients. Here we are now, 4 years after my tiny business began and I've got 10 lovely families I'm able to clean for, and I love my work. It is beyond anything I could have imagined to help people care for the space that God has given them to be themselves, relax, have fun together and rest in. Home--it is such an important place. To get to make it clean and lovely for people is deeply satisfying. 

Only a great God who cares about His people can do something like that. Take a simple momma and help her feel that her life has meaning by cleaning other people's homes. Meanwhile, my own home dynamic is very different, but I'm fulfilling my new calling to serve my family by making money for college. It is a good thing to help our husbands carry out what they see as the right way to go. Whether we agree or not isn't the issue. God is faithful to bless when we keep our eyes focused on what He's said we're to do. So ladies, when your years of homeschooling are coming to an end, trust the Lord. Ask Him to show you what you can do, if you need to make money. If you don't, ask Him to show you what to do to stay very busy because a woman with too much time on her hands quickly becomes a busy body, often with insatiable lusts that make her unpleasant to be around.