I remember when my kids were small seeing families with teenagers, and not being able to understand why they were so busy. I recall thinking that we wouldn't be going in so many directions when our kids were older...that harried pace...surely it was optional.
Like so many things, I didn't know what I didn't know.
Even without all the technology of the day and not having kids attending a brick and mortar school, we're still going in many directions. I thought life was busy when raising three little kids all close in age, but the reality is, those aren't busy days compared to now. It is so different with older kids.
When kids are small a lot of the busy is what you choose to add in to life. It can slow down or speed up depending on Mom's energy level. It isn't that way as the kids get older. Not only are decisions more difficult with older kids, but the issues that come up and the things they are involved in are expensive, time consuming, and there is just a lot to weigh out. The mental energy expended is great when raising older kids.
School, work, extra curricular demands, learning to drive, braces appointments, youth group, friends, volunteering...when kids are small it is just play dates, school, and some extra curricular activities that are more fun than work. The cost is there, but it pales to the cost of things to come.
I used to hear people complain about kids they knew being too involved in sports, and the frustration that those kids were not available for family events. It is too easy to throw stones when you don't understand something. The thing is, older kids have a reputation being formed, and parents don't make all the decisions like they do with younger children. Older kids are involved in things that matter to them. They are depended upon by people outside their family circle. People see how reliable they are or aren't. There are people who form relationships with our older kids that matter a great deal to them. Older kids see things for how they are in many circumstances and they are willing to sacrifice when it makes sense, but they are also unwilling to look bad for unreasonable reasons.
When older kids work, that is a big deal. They want and need the money, and they want to be seen as reliable. One doesn't miss work unless it is necessary. Sports cost a great deal of money, and missing means losing out on important instruction or competition time. Plus, boys especially need to get their energy out regularly through sports or weight lifting. Wanting that to be different doesn't make it so.
Some people are good at giving the benefit of doubt, but some people are good at criticizing what they merely can't understand. I would hope that as we all age we'd get better and better at realizing there are things we probably aren't understanding more often than not, so we should hold our criticism, or ask a lot more questions before forming an opinion on folks ahead of us on the parenting path.
Like so many things, I didn't know what I didn't know.
Even without all the technology of the day and not having kids attending a brick and mortar school, we're still going in many directions. I thought life was busy when raising three little kids all close in age, but the reality is, those aren't busy days compared to now. It is so different with older kids.
When kids are small a lot of the busy is what you choose to add in to life. It can slow down or speed up depending on Mom's energy level. It isn't that way as the kids get older. Not only are decisions more difficult with older kids, but the issues that come up and the things they are involved in are expensive, time consuming, and there is just a lot to weigh out. The mental energy expended is great when raising older kids.
School, work, extra curricular demands, learning to drive, braces appointments, youth group, friends, volunteering...when kids are small it is just play dates, school, and some extra curricular activities that are more fun than work. The cost is there, but it pales to the cost of things to come.
I used to hear people complain about kids they knew being too involved in sports, and the frustration that those kids were not available for family events. It is too easy to throw stones when you don't understand something. The thing is, older kids have a reputation being formed, and parents don't make all the decisions like they do with younger children. Older kids are involved in things that matter to them. They are depended upon by people outside their family circle. People see how reliable they are or aren't. There are people who form relationships with our older kids that matter a great deal to them. Older kids see things for how they are in many circumstances and they are willing to sacrifice when it makes sense, but they are also unwilling to look bad for unreasonable reasons.
When older kids work, that is a big deal. They want and need the money, and they want to be seen as reliable. One doesn't miss work unless it is necessary. Sports cost a great deal of money, and missing means losing out on important instruction or competition time. Plus, boys especially need to get their energy out regularly through sports or weight lifting. Wanting that to be different doesn't make it so.
Some people are good at giving the benefit of doubt, but some people are good at criticizing what they merely can't understand. I would hope that as we all age we'd get better and better at realizing there are things we probably aren't understanding more often than not, so we should hold our criticism, or ask a lot more questions before forming an opinion on folks ahead of us on the parenting path.
